{"id":62074,"date":"2020-11-10T06:00:52","date_gmt":"2020-11-10T11:00:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/?p=62074"},"modified":"2026-02-18T10:27:36","modified_gmt":"2026-02-18T15:27:36","slug":"homeschooling-an-angry-child","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/homeschooling-an-angry-child\/","title":{"rendered":"Homeschooling an angry child: 5 years later"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/homeschooling-an-angry-child\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-62083\" src=\"https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/rainbow-5108122_1280-1024x682.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"675\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/rainbow-5108122_1280-1024x682.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/rainbow-5108122_1280-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/rainbow-5108122_1280-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/rainbow-5108122_1280-1248x832.jpg 1248w, https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/rainbow-5108122_1280.jpg 1280w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 675px) 100vw, 675px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>Written by Jamie C. Martin of Simple Homeschool and <a href=\"https:\/\/introvertedmoms.com\/join\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Introverted Moms,<\/a><\/em><em><br \/>\nyet again with the permission of my angry child<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Five years ago, I wrote a post called <a href=\"https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/hardest-part-jamie\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><strong>Homeschooling an Angry Child<\/strong><\/a> as part of our blog series, <a href=\"https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/the-hardest-part-series\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">The Hardest Part of My Homeschool Year<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><em>{If you&#8217;ve never <a href=\"https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/hardest-part-jamie\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">read it<\/a>, it will give more context to this one.}<\/em><\/p>\n<p>I had no idea what the response would be.<\/p>\n<p>I knew I felt compelled to write about my experience. Sharing truthfully the highs <em>and<\/em> lows of the homeschooling journey has always been a priority to me in this space.<\/p>\n<p><em>Would you rather listen to this post?<\/em><br \/>\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"border: none;\" src=\"\/\/html5-player.libsyn.com\/embed\/episode\/id\/16844147\/height\/90\/theme\/custom\/thumbnail\/yes\/direction\/backward\/render-playlist\/no\/custom-color\/3ebdc0\/\" width=\"100%\" height=\"90\" scrolling=\"no\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><strong>And yet, I also carried hidden shame and guilt over what we were going through, some dark corner inside me believing it must be at least partially my fault.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>But I typed out my scary truths, attempting to do so in a way that both honored my child&#8217;s privacy and my own reality.\u00a0And then I was blown away.<\/p>\n<p>I genuinely had no idea that so many others struggled with a similar situation.<\/p>\n<p>No idea that the post would become one of the top ten visited in the history of this site, generating the most reader comments of <em>any<\/em> post, both here and on social media.<\/p>\n<p>I felt less alone afterwards, and what a gift to know that many of you did as well.<\/p>\n<p><strong>That post has also been the top one that readers have requested an update to in the years since I wrote it, asking,\u00a0<\/strong><strong>&#8220;How is your child doing now, and how have you navigated the situation since?&#8221;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>My child who struggles with anger was a tween when I wrote the first post, and is well into life as a teenager now.<\/p>\n<p>Here&#8217;s what the road we&#8217;ve traveled has been like, and what has helped us the most in the past five years.<\/p>\n<h3>Homeschooling an angry child: What has helped us most<\/h3>\n<h4>1. Getting a brain map (qEEG) done<\/h4>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/QEEG.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-62080\" src=\"https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/QEEG.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"514\" height=\"423\" srcset=\"https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/QEEG.jpg 746w, https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/QEEG-300x247.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 514px) 100vw, 514px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>A couple of years ago we paid to have a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amenclinics.com\/services\/qeeg\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">qEEG<\/a> done on my child&#8217;s brain. The results marked an incredible turning point.<\/p>\n<p><strong>We left with two big takeaways:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>a &#8211; This was not my fault<\/p>\n<p>b &#8211; This was not my child&#8217;s fault<\/p>\n<p>At one point the professional analyzing the results even told me, &#8220;If you were not homeschooling this child, I have no doubt that what you&#8217;re struggling with now pales in comparison to the type of response you would be seeing. The fact that this child is doing as well as they are, given what I&#8217;m seeing in their brain, is a testament to the atmosphere you have created in your home.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Friends, I can&#8217;t tell you the weight that fell from my shoulders that day.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Beyond that, my husband Steve and I walked out of the room having a lot more compassion <em>for<\/em> our child. This was not &#8220;a bad kid,&#8221; not a child who &#8220;just needs more discipline,&#8221; like we&#8217;d wondered or had even been told through the years.<\/p>\n<p>This was a child doing the best they could, in spite of certain wiring patterns that existed due to past trauma.<\/p>\n<p>Even though the Neurofeedback treatment that often follows a qEEG evaluation ended up not being the right solution for our child, I still consider the money for the brain map itself as some of the best we&#8217;ve ever spent.<\/p>\n<h4>2. \u00a0Creating a fictional at-home character<\/h4>\n<p>I feel silly even mentioning this, yet my child points to it as one of the things that has helped them most. <strong>Like many creative solutions, it was borne out of necessity and frustration!<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>One day a couple of years ago, while in the midst of a reading lesson with this child, I began pretending that they were the parent and I was their child.<\/p>\n<p>It helped us get through that one lesson, and brought a smile to our faces as they practiced reading a story to me.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Soon we had named this fictional daughter that I had created, and she began making appearances at other times, too.<\/strong> Like in situations when this child was on the brink of misbehaving, &#8220;Oh! I thought you taught me that we shouldn&#8217;t act that way&#8230;&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>This shot a tiny strand of humor into what could otherwise become a volatile situation, somehow helping my child regain their equilibrium.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s not uncommon these days for this child to put an arm around me and say, &#8220;My daughter&#8230;&#8221; It&#8217;s become an endearing aspect of our relationship, as crazy as it sounds.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/heart-1192662_640.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-62082\" src=\"https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/heart-1192662_640.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"426\" srcset=\"https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/heart-1192662_640.jpg 640w, https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/heart-1192662_640-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<h4>3. Maturity<\/h4>\n<p>Time never allows anything to go unchanged forever, and <strong>although in certain seasons it has felt like progress has been slower than a snail&#8217;s pace&#8230;maturity <em>has<\/em> done a work in my child&#8217;s heart and mind.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>As we continue to follow the suggestions I mentioned <a href=\"https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/hardest-part-jamie\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">in my first post<\/a>, including choosing our battles wisely, we have seen growth that over time has blessedly made a difference.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/anne-of-green-gables\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Maturity does its work, even in the most extreme cases<\/a>, and my child has been no exception, in spite of the fact that we now have\u00a0an influx of adolescent hormones to contend with.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/Homeschooling-an-Angry-Child-An-update.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-62084\" src=\"https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/Homeschooling-an-Angry-Child-An-update-768x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"486\" height=\"648\" srcset=\"https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/Homeschooling-an-Angry-Child-An-update-768x1024.jpg 768w, https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/Homeschooling-an-Angry-Child-An-update-225x300.jpg 225w, https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/Homeschooling-an-Angry-Child-An-update.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 486px) 100vw, 486px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<h4>If you&#8217;re homeschooling an angry child, too:<\/h4>\n<p><strong>I asked my child what advice they would give to parents helping children through a similar situation, and this is what they shared:<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Give your child lots of love, attention, and support. Pray for them and be firm and loving, like my mom did with me. That works after a while.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><strong>My child also offered this prayer for those of you going through this same struggle:<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Lord Jesus, help this child get more control over their anger, so they can have good relationships. I pray that their mother will know what to do and that she will have patience, which will help the child become calmer. Amen.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><em>Are you homeschooling an angry child, too? What has helped you hold on to hope over the years?<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/quiz\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">What&#8217;s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie&#8217;s quiz now<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!<\/em><\/p>\n<div style=\"margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;\" class=\"sharethis-inline-share-buttons\" ><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Written by Jamie C. Martin of Simple Homeschool and Introverted Moms, yet again with the permission of my angry child Five years ago, I wrote a post called Homeschooling an Angry Child as part of our blog series, The Hardest Part of My Homeschool Year. {If you&#8217;ve never read it, it will give more context&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":62083,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[344,343,367],"tags":[308],"class_list":["post-62074","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-homeschool-sos","category-homeschool-sos-inspiration","category-mental-health","tag-jamie"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Homeschooling an angry child: 5 years later - Simple Homeschool<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"In 2015 I wrote a post called Homeschooling an Angry Child, which became one of the site&#039;s most popular. 5 years later, here&#039;s an update.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/homeschooling-an-angry-child\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Homeschooling an angry child: 5 years later - Simple Homeschool\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"In 2015 I wrote a post called Homeschooling an Angry Child, which became one of the site&#039;s most popular. 5 years later, here&#039;s an update.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/homeschooling-an-angry-child\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Simple Homeschool\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/simplehomeschool\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2020-11-10T11:00:52+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2026-02-18T15:27:36+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/rainbow-5108122_1280.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1280\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"853\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Jamie C. Martin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Jamie C. Martin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/simplehomeschool.net\\\/homeschooling-an-angry-child\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/simplehomeschool.net\\\/homeschooling-an-angry-child\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Jamie C. 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