{"id":53243,"date":"2017-04-27T07:17:42","date_gmt":"2017-04-27T11:17:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/simplehomeschl.wpengine.com\/?p=53243"},"modified":"2026-02-18T10:27:36","modified_gmt":"2026-02-18T15:27:36","slug":"angry","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/angry\/","title":{"rendered":"How an introverted mom became an angry one"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Written by Jamie Martin of Simple Homeschool<\/em><\/p>\n

T<\/span>he glass left my hand and slammed into\u00a0the wall on the far side of the bedroom, shattering into hundreds of shards\u00a0on the carpet. As I turned to the side, I caught a glimpse of the\u00a0reflection\u00a0in the mirror before sinking to the ground in sobs.<\/p>\n

I didn’t recognize myself.<\/p>\n

That outburst happened almost ten years ago–thankfully without anyone else present–but I’ll never forget it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Not only did I make a challenging day harder (cleaning glass out of carpet, anyone?), but I also recognized the\u00a0warning sign I could no longer ignore.<\/p>\n

And now that I understand more about my personality as an introvert<\/a>, it all makes perfect sense.<\/p>\n

I had never, ever<\/em> thought of myself as an angry person before having kids.<\/strong> Ever. I don’t think anyone else would have used that adjective to describe me either.<\/p>\n

But when Trishna joined our family\u00a0from India at the age of four, the shock of suddenly having three little kids less than two years apart in age–two of them dealing with trauma of their own–brought me to the end of myself.<\/p>\n

It wasn’t that I didn’t love my kids. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to care for them. I had been called to and completely wanted to do both of those things–they had been my dreams.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nPhoto taken weeks after I became a mom of three–with a 4-, 3-, & 2-year-old. I was already mucho-tired, ya’ll.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

It was that as an introverted, highly sensitive mama<\/a>, the sudden volume and chaos levels\u00a0literally kept my nervous system in overdrive–nearly all day, every day.<\/strong>
\n
\nAnd to think that I also felt God calling me to homeschool, too. Really, Lord? Is this some kind of sick joke?<\/p>\n

Not long ago, I came across a list of the major factors that stress out my particular personality type (INFJ if you’re curious<\/a>). I had to laugh (or cry, but I decided to\u00a0laugh)–when I realized how nearly all of these stressors present themselves\u00a0in my daily life as a homeschool mama!<\/p>\n

Go ahead, have a chuckle at my expense:<\/p>\n

What stresses out an INFJ<\/strong>
\n\u2013 Having to focus too much on sensory\/concrete details (like what’s for breakfast, lunch, dinner!)<\/em>
\n\u2013 An overload of sensory stimulation or noise (um, children!)<\/em>
\n\u2013 Interruptions (like I said)<\/em>
\n\u2013 Distress within close relationships (all. the. time.)<\/em>
\n\u2013 Having her\u00a0values violated (wanting to change the world, changing diapers instead)<\/em>
\n\u2013 Not enough alone time. Too much extraverting. (This rings a bell)<\/em>
\n\u2013 Working with closed-minded people (Oh, of course you’re having a tantrum because your toothbrush is blue, not red!)<\/em>
\n\u2013 Lack of appreciation or understanding (Here’s looking at you, kid)<\/em>
\n\u2013 Unfamiliar environments with overwhelming amounts of details (sounds like curriculum planning)<\/em>
\n\u2013 Having plans disrupted (part of the job description, right?!)<\/em>
\n\u2013 Not having a clear direction (but somehow I’m the one in charge!)<\/em>
\n\u2013 Lack of harmony (sibling drama, anyone?)<\/em>
\n\u2013 Criticism and conflict (rinse and repeat)<\/em>
\n\u2013 Not being able to use their intuition or envision the future (Yep, future just a tad murky at times.)<\/em>
\n\u2013 Having to focus too much on the present (Right, like today. And tomorrow. And…)<\/em><\/p>\n

“When under stress, the INFJ\u00a0may become uncharacteristically angry and quick-tempered, unreasonable, and irrational.”<\/strong> <—– YES, THIS.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nPhoto by Sofia Carvalho<\/a><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

God also saw fit to send me a little person dealing with anger<\/a> of their own, too. So I have over a decade of experience dealing with and trying to figure out this issue.<\/p>\n

A decade is not enough. I’m still in the trenches, but here are three\u00a0things I’ve learned:<\/p>\n

1. Anger is the normal<\/em> response to the hard parts of motherhood, especially as an introvert.<\/h4>\n

For years, a\u00a0pleasant, magical mother lived in my head and taunted me. She never got\u00a0angry with her children, but would respond in a sing-song voice like this:<\/p>\n