{"id":42285,"date":"2015-11-19T06:30:40","date_gmt":"2015-11-19T11:30:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/simplehomeschl.wpengine.com\/?p=42285"},"modified":"2026-02-18T10:40:54","modified_gmt":"2026-02-18T15:40:54","slug":"homeschooling-from-fear","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/homeschooling-from-fear\/","title":{"rendered":"Why homeschooling from fear doesn&#8217;t work"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/simplehomeschl.wpengine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/homeschooling-from-fear.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-42292 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/simplehomeschl.wpengine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/homeschooling-from-fear.jpg\" alt=\"Why Homeschooling from Fear Doesn't Work-- it just never, never does\" width=\"575\" height=\"361\" srcset=\"https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/homeschooling-from-fear.jpg 575w, https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/homeschooling-from-fear-300x188.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 575px) 100vw, 575px\" \/><\/a><em>Written by Sarah Mackenzie of <a href=\"http:\/\/amongstlovelythings.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Amongst Lovely Things<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n<p><span class=\"drop_cap\">I<\/span> hear it all the time. I bet you do, too.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cI\u2019m homeschooling because\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u2026I\u2019m afraid the culture will destroy my kids.<\/em><br \/>\n<em> \u2026I want my kids to stay Christian.<\/em><br \/>\n<em> \u2026I don\u2019t want them to be exposed to bad language or ideas or influences.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>These statements all share one thing in common- <strong>they\u2019re <a href=\"http:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/the-worst-reason-to-homeschool\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">based on fear<\/a><\/strong>, grounded in an overwhelming anxiety that unless we homeschool our kids, things will not end the way we want them to.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s a fear that we aren\u2019t in control, and that things might not turn out as we planned.<\/p>\n<p>Well.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s an idea worth considering: <strong>homeschooling doesn\u2019t guarantee that our kids will come out any particular way.<\/strong> It doesn\u2019t ensure that they\u2019ll embrace our religious beliefs, get into a good college, or make life choices we\u2019ll be proud of.<\/p>\n<p>Our kids are not ingredients in a recipe. Just because we prepare them in a particular way doesn\u2019t mean that they\u2019ll come out how we hope. In fact, I know plenty of loving, hard-working homeschooling parents whose kids live lives running a gamut of mistakes and missteps.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kids are human, and humanity is messy.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>If we\u2019ve convinced ourselves that homeschooling ensures they\u2019ll come out juuuuuust the way we want them to, we\u2019ve taken on an impossible task.<br \/>\n<!--more--><br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/simplehomeschl.wpengine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/IMG_0214.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-42287\" src=\"http:\/\/simplehomeschl.wpengine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/IMG_0214.jpg\" alt=\"IMG_0214\" width=\"575\" height=\"383\" srcset=\"https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/IMG_0214.jpg 575w, https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/IMG_0214-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 575px) 100vw, 575px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>See, our success is not bound up in results. We aren\u2019t actually in control, no matter how much we like to pretend we are (and oh, how I do!).<\/p>\n<p>To be certain, as our kids grow, we have a profound impact in shaping and forming them- we read to them, talk to them, and guide them along the way.<\/p>\n<p>And then they make choices of their own.<\/p>\n<p>Homeschooling very well may be the thing that helps my child\u2019s life head in the right direction. Or it may not.<\/p>\n<p>There\u2019s no real way way to know, and as long as my own value, self-worth, and success story is bound up in whether or not they do, <strong>I\u2019m forgetting who I am and what my work is in this world.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s consider a garden. If I know that I want to grow tomatoes, then these are my tasks:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>prepare the soil<\/li>\n<li>plant the seeds<\/li>\n<li>water, weed, and thin as needed<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I\u2019ll give that garden my loving attention and whole lot of time. And then I\u2019ll wait. I cannot force the tomatoes to grow, after all. And there is, of course, the possibility that tomatoes will never come, or that when they do, they\u2019ll be mealy or infected.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/simplehomeschl.wpengine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/IMG_1624.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-42286\" src=\"http:\/\/simplehomeschl.wpengine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/IMG_1624.jpg\" alt=\"Homeschooling makes no guarantees\" width=\"575\" height=\"383\" srcset=\"https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/IMG_1624.jpg 575w, https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/IMG_1624-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 575px) 100vw, 575px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<h4>Homeschooling makes no guarantees.<\/h4>\n<p>What might it look like if, instead of doing it out of fear and anxiety, we homeschooled out of a deep sense of <a href=\"http:\/\/teachingfromrest.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">unshakable peace and rest<\/a>?<\/p>\n<p>What if we had the confidence and courage to know that homeschooling is worth our time and effort- not because we\u2019ll get certain results- but because l<strong>oving and teaching our kids as they are, where they are, is always worth our time and effort?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve been thinking about this a lot lately, and I think this what it might look like for me:<\/p>\n<h4>1.We\u2019d relax and enjoy each other more.<\/h4>\n<p>If I was more concerned with the process than the product\u2014 if my heart was set on tending my garden rather than forcing it to bear fruit\u2014 that would give us the freedom to lay out under a starry night, get lost for an entire morning in a good book, delight in the chance to spend an afternoon at a farmer\u2019s market or the local library.<\/p>\n<p>It would give me the ability to smile more and worry less.<br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/simplehomeschl.wpengine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/IMG_0854.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-42289\" src=\"http:\/\/simplehomeschl.wpengine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/IMG_0854.jpg\" alt=\"IMG_0854\" width=\"575\" height=\"384\" srcset=\"https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/IMG_0854.jpg 700w, https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/IMG_0854-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 575px) 100vw, 575px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<h4>2. We\u2019d read and talk more.<\/h4>\n<p>I\u2019d be less stressed about having physical proof that learning has happened, and that would free us up to read wonderful books and have casual, chatty conversations about them.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019d have <a href=\"http:\/\/amongstlovelythings.com\/5-questions\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">a good set of questions<\/a> by my side to help along the way, but the act of reading and discussing wouldn\u2019t be practiced for the sake of keeping track and ticking off checklists.<\/p>\n<h4>3.\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019d feel the need to demonstrate my own interests and passions.<\/h4>\n<p>Because I know that each of my kids needs to uncover the creative work that he is made to do for himself, I would feel more responsibility to do my own creative work in his presence.<\/p>\n<p>Not in a didactic, teaching way, but in an organic, casual, I\u2019m on fire for this so I can\u2019t keep it to myself kind of way.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/simplehomeschl.wpengine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/sarahfearvert.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-42492\" src=\"http:\/\/simplehomeschl.wpengine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/sarahfearvert.jpg\" alt=\"Why homeschooling from fear doesn't work\" width=\"400\" height=\"539\" srcset=\"https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/sarahfearvert.jpg 400w, https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/sarahfearvert-223x300.jpg 223w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<h4>4.\u00a0I\u2019d focus on what matters most.<\/h4>\n<p>I would feel less of a pressing need to cram a certain body of knowledge into each of my kids, and so I\u2019d feel less angst over making sure there are no gaps or missed subjects in the curriculum.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019d have the freedom to go all in where it matters most. I\u2019d <a href=\"http:\/\/amongstlovelythings.com\/expert-guide\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">listen to some of my favorite mentors tell me what those are<\/a>, and then I\u2019d give myself permission to let a lot of the rest slide.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Overall, I&#8217;d be free to enjoy my kids as the independent, made-in-the-image-of-God humans they are.<\/strong> I\u2019d delight in their presence, laugh at their antics, roll my eyes at their craziness.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019d shed the need to make sure they turn out just so, and focus instead on loving and teaching them as they are.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019d remember that packet of seeds. I\u2019d remember my place.<\/p>\n<p><strong>I would be free.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/quiz\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">What&#8217;s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie&#8217;s quiz now<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!<\/em><\/p>\n<div style=\"margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;\" class=\"sharethis-inline-share-buttons\" ><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Written by Sarah Mackenzie of Amongst Lovely Things I hear it all the time. I bet you do, too. \u201cI\u2019m homeschooling because\u2026 \u2026I\u2019m afraid the culture will destroy my kids. \u2026I want my kids to stay Christian. \u2026I don\u2019t want them to be exposed to bad language or ideas or influences.\u201d These statements all share&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":66,"featured_media":42492,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[344,343,28],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-42285","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-homeschool-sos","category-homeschool-sos-inspiration","category-inspiration"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Why homeschooling from fear doesn&#039;t work - Simple Homeschool<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Are you homeschooling from fear? 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