{"id":18941,"date":"2023-09-30T09:35:44","date_gmt":"2023-09-30T13:35:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/simplehomeschl.wpengine.com\/?p=18941"},"modified":"2026-02-18T10:36:54","modified_gmt":"2026-02-18T15:36:54","slug":"an-open-letter","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/simplehomeschool.net\/an-open-letter\/","title":{"rendered":"An open letter to my non-homeschooling friends"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"An<\/a>
\nWritten by Rachel Wolf of Clean<\/a> and LuSa Organics<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

A note from Jamie: Can’t believe it’s been over 10 years ago that this post from Rachel first published…I felt like someone out there might just need to hear this today, too! xo<\/em><\/p>\n

L<\/span>ately I’ve been reflecting on how our relationships change when we become parents.<\/strong><\/p>\n

My relationship to my husband, myself, my community, and my friends transformed on account of parenthood.<\/p>\n

And I didn’t see that coming.<\/p>\n

I thought life with children would be much like life before, just messier.<\/strong><\/p>\n

It wasn’t.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I think I called my friends to apologize for the curveball but – with a screaming baby in my arms – said we might never finish a phone call again.<\/p>\n

Then I promptly hung up.<\/strong><\/p>\n

We made it through, of course. (Mostly because my friends soon had children of their own and they started hanging up on me, too.)<\/p>\n

The second curveball came when we chose to homeschool.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Somehow I didn’t see that one coming either. But homeschooling (like parenting in general) changes our relationships.
\n<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

We committed to homeschooling on the day of kindergarten registration.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Living two blocks from a Waldorf school made the decision to keep our kids home more difficult.<\/p>\n

With its softly painted walls, song-filled teachers, and baskets of seashells, the school looks like the world I want to live in. (But bigger, and with more kids.) <\/strong><\/p>\n

So we kept stalling on making our decision.<\/p>\n

But as we prepared our son for kindergarten I realized that I didn’t want to send him to school. Not even that school.<\/p>\n

As we set off to register I blurted, \u201cLet\u2019s stay home. I want to homeschool!\u201d<\/p>\n

And we did.<\/p>\n

We saw our truth, closed our eyes, and leaped.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/h3>\n

Diverging paths<\/h3>\n

Most of my friends never questioned their trip to kindergarten registration.<\/strong><\/p>\n

They were as thrilled to send their kids to school as I was to keep mine home.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m glad that we both found our right answer. There is beauty in our differences.<\/strong><\/p>\n

As their children head to school my friends now contemplate their next career move, preparing for when the youngest heads out the door as well.<\/p>\n

They are excited for the next chapter.<\/p>\n

And all the while I am here. Firmly rooted with my children, where I’ve spent the last decade. <\/strong><\/p>\n

I can’t imagine it any other way.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/h3>\n

Redefining my friendships<\/h3>\n

Homeschooling – like motherhood – has shaped my life.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Our schedule, my ever-present children, even the book on my nightstand and how and when we socialize. All are touched by this decision.<\/p>\n

And because of that I’ve changed the game on my friends once more.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I’m unlikely to accept a social invitation from a friend while her children are at school.<\/p>\n

Because this is my time to be present with my kids.<\/strong><\/p>\n

While we gather frequently with other homeschooling families and connect with adults who serve as mentors, I’ve consciously drawn the line at socializing with my non-homeschooling friends during our homeschool week.<\/p>\n

Because my kids deserve my focus. It’s the commitment that I’ve made to them.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

In fact, it’s my job.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/h3>\n

Seeking understanding<\/h3>\n

How well do my non-homeschooling friends understand the changes in our friendship in recent years?<\/p>\n

Sometimes I wonder if it just feels as though I’ve lost interest in their company.<\/p>\n

It seems there are a few things I have not explained.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Perhaps it is time.<\/p>\n

An open letter to my non-homeschooling friends<\/h4>\n

Dear friend,<\/p>\n

Let me begin with this: I love you.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I treasure your friendship and look forward to all we will share in the days yet to come.<\/p>\n

I want to acknowledge the changes that homeschooling has brought to our friendship.<\/p>\n

Homeschooling has shifted my priorities, my interests, my schedule, and indeed my relationships.<\/strong><\/p>\n

When our kids were small I was as eager as you to visit. But lately I’ve rejected most of your invitations to socialize.<\/p>\n

Heck, I often don’t even answer the phone. (But you know that already.)<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

The reason I don’t connect during the week like your other friends do is because I am working.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Working on homeschooling my children.<\/p>\n

Even when it doesn’t look like we’re “doing school” we are engaged in learning.
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n