Comments on: When Your Teen Doesn’t Have a Plan

By: Kath

Kath

This is very encouraging. My 14yo is daughter #4 (of 5) and just finds thinking about the future incredibly overwhelming. She had grand ideas (quite unrealistic) until recently when our family started going through a lot of upheaval and now she just doesn’t want to think about being an adult or making decisions. So, she wants to sit and play Lego or dolls with her younger sister, read historical fiction, watch TV, talk endlessly about everything and anything (but only with me) and do mundane tasks, but not make plans. It’s so different to her three older sisters who all knew what they wanted at her age and were working towards it. I’m being pressured to pressure her, but she needs time. Thanks for sharing.

By: Mindy

Mindy

Thank you for this!! I am in the same boat. I have an 8th grade boy who is also still into legos and novels. He doesn’t know what he wants to do, gives the same “I dunno” response. As of right now I am preparing for community college, but seeking God’s will and praying His will is shown to our son & us. I’m pretty flexible for a pivot whenever we might need to.

By: Shahzad

Shahzad

Your thoughtful approach to homeschooling your teenager, even when they're unsure about their future plans, is commendable. It's essential to prioritize the relationship and allow them the time to discover their path. Trusting the journey is valuable advice for parents navigating these uncertain times.

By: KB

My 17 year old doesn’t know what she wants to do. I figure the Lord will show her and she can take her time. We are going to have her do her 2 year associates and work for my husband in his business, but the rest is a question mark. She’s kind of tired of people asking her what she wants to do! Thanks for this article!

By: Kathryn

Kathryn

Thanks for sharing about your 15 year old wanting to build Legos and read fantasy novels! That plus video games is mostly what my 15 year old son wants to do as well, while my 9 and 11 year old daughters have been planning their futures since they were little. Every child is unique.

By: Anne

Anne

I’ve graduated 4, so far, and at least 3 of them started “high school” without a plan. I have a 16 yo now who doesn’t have a plan either. We simply kept our options open by studying a variety of subjects, serving in our community, and letting them be themselves.

The first is still finding her way, but she’s worked at a variety of jobs–gaining a lot of life experience.
The second was really focused from the start, and she’s changed and grown a great deal. She’s not doing what she set out to do at first, but she’s doing even better than she planned.
The third was very unhappy working on academics, so we graduated her early, and she got her phlebotomist’s license. She loved doing that for a while, and now she’s using that initial experience to learn and do new things in the medical field.
The fourth still doesn’t know what she wants to do. She loves classical studies, and she was accepted to her first-choice college, but she deferred her admission to serve a church mission, and that is giving her a world of experience that is changing her in profound ways. None of us knows what she’ll do when she comes home in a year or so, and that’s fine with us!

I read somewhere that kids change as much from 14 to 18 as they do from birth to age 4. I believe it. There’s no need for a kid to know what they want when they’re 14.

By: Olga

Olga

We’re almost there (8th grade now), and it looks like both of my boys know what field they want to work in. However, one of wants to stay a kid, so I think there will be a pushback in what we do with high school.
For now, I’m just focusing on one year at a time, one month at a time, one day at a time.