When I started homeschooling, some 15 years ago, my focus was very much on academic achievement. Like many before me, I had a long list of subjects to plow through and an even longer list of concepts for my kid to master.

Not only did we closely follow the school curriculum and state standards, we added in Great Books, Classic Literature, Memorization, Art Study and Latin for good measure.

We accomplished many amazing projects (like Monet-inspired paintings), as well as shed many, many tears.

Looking back, I’m surprised we survived the grade school years, let alone continued the journey with three more kids!

Luckily, homeschooling turned out to be my calling. Despite the constant stress, the never ending housework, and the 24/7 with kids, I rather liked it.

I loved hearing my children read aloud. I relished seeing them read to themselves. I delighted in the doodles that came with every sheet of paperwork they completed and even the incomplete weather logs.

It was all good and brought purpose to my life. I was the one who taught them how to write their first letter, read their first sentence, and add their first group of plastic bear manipulatives.

This will be my fifth year repeating kindergarten, and I must say, practice does make it easier. I now know exactly how much to push and when to back off.

In fact, here are five things I’ve learned through (teaching) kindergarten to my kids:

1. The earlier they can read, the better.

My four kids have learned to read at ages three, four, five, and six. For us, the earlier the start, the higher the confidence in learning other subjects.

And for the record, I only suggest to start young — the finish line could be as close or far as necessary, depending on the child. You might be pleasantly amazed by what your 3- or 4-year-old can pick up. 

A note from Jamie: My own family made a very different choice when it comes to the age to introduce reading and other academics. I appreciate Amida sharing her experience because I want this blog to always encourage readers to find what works for you and yours, and to recognize that will lead us all to different solutions.

2. Make friends young.

There’s nothing like having another kid your age to grow up with and take over the playground with when everyone else is in school.

Siblings are wonderful, but having a special friend to share stories or snacks with is a real treat. 

3. Field trips are not an option.

Get out and explore the neighborhood park or community event or museum or even the local library.

Much can be learned by observing the world around you. Notebooks optional.

4. Art is not an option.

I love doing art. Painting, drawing, building, crafting — you name it, I’m there.

Creativity is just as important as STEM, and no doubt improves your productivity in other areas.

Photo by Eric Costello

5. Every day is not a school day.

The younger the kid, the less “school” they need.

Seriously, no child under six needs a planner. Teach them reading, writing, and simple arithmetic. Done.

And oh yeah, everything’s more fun with stickers. Even homeschooling teenagers love them–only they call them “decals.”

What are some things you’ve learned through teaching kindergarten?

Written by Amida of journey into unschooling.

Homeschooling should be a piece of cake. Spend time with the kids. Surround yourself with books and educational materials. Go places. Learn together, every day, 24/7.

But sometimes, let’s face it — filling in all those hours is a drag.

Kids have the uncanny ability to drive you nuts, the laundry never seems to end, and the house is never clean enough. Add to that the pick-up and drop-off schedules of every person in the family, the inadequate food supply (because teenagers eat everything), and the never appropriate question of what’s for dinner (just stop asking and eat).

And oh yeah, you are totally responsible for educating them at some point in the day. No pressure.

I find that the hardest part of homeschooling is the expectations, real or otherwise. In addition to all the other household responsibilities, I feel I always have to be in learning mode, especially when someone directly asks me “what did you do for school today?”

The truth is, we don’t “do school” every day and I rarely have a plan that I actually follow for more than a week.

At this very moment, I have one kid whining about being bored and nibbling on my arm, while the other is flipping through a comic book.

Sure, it’s summer, but still. This happens on more occasions that I care to let on during the school year.

When I’m in a slump, this kind of thinking gets me deeper and deeper into the abyss of failed homeschooler and I sometimes counter with big plans of intense/awesome/creative/above-grade-level work.

Of course, that never lasts long. I eventually come to my senses and realize that kind of structure doesn’t work for us. Homeschool is just going to happen when it happens, and that is fine.

But for the days I really do want to get school logged in, but would rather not spend too much time prepping, I’ve got a couple of tried and true tricks that I know I can fall back on:

Photo by Maya83

Go back to basics

The 3Rs — Reading, Writing, and ‘Rithmetic — are fundamental to any school experience. If I can’t figure out what to cover for history or science, I know we can always make reading a priority.

You can touch upon just about any subject through storytime. One of my favorite ways of sneaking in more stories is through audiobooks. All that time spent driving in a car is totally educational. In this way, we’ve discovered so many fantastic stories and series which I never would have gotten around to otherwise.

Writing is my other go-to assignment. “Read about [insert subject] and write about it.” It could be a review, a summary, a poem, journal entry, a letter — anything. I love writing assignments.

Most of our math is covered through reading as well, with the Life of Fred series or assorted math-based story books we find at the library. When even that becomes a drag, I hand over the iPhone, where I’ve installed a handy math fact app so my daughter can practice and quiz herself.

Normally, I’m not a fan of electronics for schoolwork, but sometimes, it’s the best invention ever!

Photo by grace_kat

Break out the art supplies

One of my favorite activities is to cover the huge dining table with butcher paper and doodle the day away. The kids love it (who wouldn’t want to scribble on the table all day?), and it’s fantastic stress relief to just mindlessly doodle words and pictures and squiggles.

I like to add all sorts of markers and crayons to the middle of the table and a few drawing books for inspiration.

Stop overthinking it

The best piece of advice I have to offer you (not to mention my over-stressed self) is this: stop overthinking it.

Some days the house is spotless, some days it’s a tornado zone. Some days, there will be lamb chops for dinner, some days, it’s everything-in-the-fridge salad.

Some days, award-winning poetry will be written; some days, it’s a sad simple sentence.

Some days, homeschooling is a piece of cake. Some days, it’s tough.

It happens to the best of us. It happens to all of us.

And I guess that is the best thing to remember the next time we feel the unrealistic pressure to do it all.

When you feel the pressure to do it all, what brings you relief?

This post is part of our Hardest Part of my Homeschool Year series.

Written by Amida of Journey Into Unschooling.

A few years ago, I had the most horrible rash known to mankind. It started as a small, itchy patch that I took for bug bites. But then it grew bigger and other patches started popping up until my whole body was covered with it.

I went to the doctor, who quizzed me and determined that I was allergic to the new dog living in my home.

I went to the allergist, who examined me under a microscope, and declared I had scabies.

I went to the dermatologist, who took one look at my arms, and he said it was obviously eczema. While they all prescribed me ointments (I declined the scabies treatment) that offered relief of my symptoms, not one of them offered any long term solutions to the problem. I was still breaking out and scratching myself bloody. Something had to be done.

In desperation, I took the advice of a friend and went on a 3-week elimination diet.

For three weeks, I cut out all wheat, dairy, eggs, soy, peanuts, and processed foods from my diet. I thought my diet was going to consist of rice cakes with almond butter, but in actuality, there was a wide variety of foods that were still quite “edible.” Rice, vegetables, meat, and even potato chips were good to go.

Within the first week, my rash stopped flaring up. By the second, it started drying up. By the third, I was definitely on my way to healing.

Finally! After months of agony, I did not itch one bit. It was a miracle and all I did was change my diet.

I started adding food back and noted that the big reaction was caused by any food that contained additives. Too much take out and processed foods had obviously built up within me and my health suffered for it. As soon as I removed the culprit, I started healing.

To this day, I believe in the healing powers of food and try to make smarter choices within my family.

This is not to say we are total health nuts and eat clean every day. I love bacon as much as the next person. I just try to eat smarter most of the time. By just making a couple changes here and there, we can all eat healthier and feel better:

Step 1: Buy organic as much as possible

I realize we can’t always afford organic, but I try to buy it as much as possible.

Farmer’s markets are a fantastic source of locally grown produce, and an awesome choice if you have one nearby. Or if you prefer the one stop shop, just head to your neighborhood grocery store.

Luckily, my local supermarket has regular sales on organic produce and I try to stock up on those weekly and base my meals and fruit choices around those items. This is an easy and affordable way to incorporate organic foods into your family’s diet.

Just recently, I started purchasing only organic meats. Apparently, it is not only more nutritious and less fattening, you’re not unwittingly eating the excess hormones or antibiotics that might have been fed to the animal. We raise chickens in our backyard and I know that if they were injected with unknown chemicals or fed junk food, I wouldn’t even consider eating their meat or eggs.

Just remember, you are what you eat, so choose wisely (most of the time), but at the same time, find stuff you would actually like.

Go for snacks and treats with recognizable ingredients and cereal products made of whole grains. Try new products and find the ones that speak to your palate. I personally find gluten-free bread disgusting and would rather purchase plain whole wheat bread. On the other hand, I prefer the taste of gluten-free pasta over the whole wheat variety, so that is what I usually buy.

Step 2: Cook at home

With summer in full swing here, we will be spending much of our time outdoors, which means we will also be eating breakfast or lunch on the go.

To make life easier, I like to prep multiple meals at once, often assembling entire loaves of bread into sandwiches, boiling a dozen eggs, or wrapping all ten tortillas into burritos, for grab and go lunches.

Another favorite go-to lunch staple is rice, be it mixed with some meat and vegetables, or stuffed and rolled up in seaweed for a yummy sushi roll.

If I’m short on time, I fry up a quick egg sandwich breakfast or pack a variety of pre-cut veggies and nuts for lunch that are ready in 5 minutes. These are almost always supplemented with a fruit and snack for a satisfying meal.

When you have the time and feel inspired, it’s great fun to experiment with new healthy recipes.

I love making “super” salads (made up of mostly chopped crunchy fruits and vegetables, with a few leafy ones), and green smoothies. I distinctly remember my first green smoothie — it was made up of frozen mangoes, pineapples, and peach, with just a few leaves of spinach. These days, I go all out and mix up all sorts of crazy concoctions — nut butter? avocado? chia seeds? Bring it on.

As mentioned earlier, I am not a total health nut, and will still feed myself and my family bad stuff when the situation arises. Sometimes, we make bad choices and that’s ok. I just make sure to make better choices at the next meal (or even the next, next meal).

These days, I can eat the occasional junk food and not break out in a rash. I believe this is because I’ve cleansed my system enough that it doesn’t immediately react to processed foods, which is why I’m ok with the occasional “slip.”

The aim isn’t perfection, after all. It’s a journey to better awareness, better health, and better choices, most of the time.

When I see my 8-year-old mixing up a green smoothie for her younger sibling, complete with almond butter, spinach, and chia seeds, I can rest assured knowing we are at least heading in the right direction.

What are your tips for healthier food choices?

The following is a post by contributor Amida of journey into unschooling.

So, how do you homeschool? This by far, is perhaps the most asked question regarding our schooling.

One day, upon learning that my children are homeschooled,  a group of elementary school kids instantly bombarded them with questions concerning their education: What do you have to do? How long does it take to finish? Do you get recess? What do you eat at your homeschool? Who is your teacher?

I found it all very amusing, especially my son’s brief responses — everything, until we are done, yes, anything, Mom. I thought I’d take this moment to elaborate for him.

What do you have to do?

Well now, this is a big one. We are part of a charter school and in accordance to their rules, we have to document new learning in the areas of math, language arts, science, social studies, art and physical education every month.

How we do that, thankfully,  is (mostly) up to us. There are some things, like math, that we do consistently, and follow the book from beginning to end. There are others, like art and science, where we pick a topic and spend a good chunk of an afternoon working on it.

And then there is history, which we do sporadically. We try following a chronological study of events, get bored of it, and take a break.

Or we read about a time period in a story and decide to do a unit study on that particular period instead. Recently, we read a story about Seabiscuit and his inspirational race during the Great Depression, so we took a detour and read up on that time period.

We never bother with official PE time because we get an hour of it a day in various classes.

Some days are “commute days,” where we spend a couple of hours in the car traveling back and forth between cities. Those days are awesome for listening to audio books.

Photo by Martin Pettitt

How long does it take you to finish?

It depends. Because we don’t schedule our school day into specific time slots, it can start and end whenever we feel like.

Some days, we get lots of work done after breakfast. Most days, we don’t get anything done until after lunch.

Sometimes, we have to bring work with us and work on them while waiting for a sibling in class. Other times, we get to read or draw or just hang out. And yes, there are those days we don’t get anything done at all. Mom figures it all balances out in the end.

Do you get recess?

Yes and no. Yes, there are breaks in the school day, but they are totally unstructured and not planned into a neatly boxed time of day.

More precisely, we get breaks from recess, and “do school,” so one might say anytime is recess. Is that wrong? I’m not sure, but I know we somehow get a good amount of work done by the end of each reporting cycle so Mom is OK with it.

What do you eat at your homeschool?

Good food! Leftovers are popular. On those “commute days,” we get lunch box food — sandwiches, snacks, fruits, soup — packed in a cooler and enjoyed in the car.

Recently, my mom has incorporated a cooking lesson into the week, at which time we have to make lunch. Unfortunately, eating at home also means we have to clean up afterwards. Apparently, that is part of the “lesson.”

Who teaches you?

Mom is the teacher. She is constantly scouring the internet and looking for new ideas. She doesn’t actually teach anything, but prefers that we research and learn about a topic on our own.

She is big on variety and will suggest different ways to approach an assignment based on mood, interest and the position of the moon in relation to Saturn. Sometimes, she gets way more excited by an idea than the person who actually has to do it.

She has a degree in writing and therefore assigns a colossal amount of writing assignments and is peeved when we don’t proofread them. When she reads about a newfangled idea, she immediately suggests it to us as an alternative to writing a boring report — we have made posters, travel brochures, online presentations, web pages, boardgames, models, mini-books, etc.

When we saw an opera on Madam Butterfly, she didn’t like the ending, so instead of having us write a summary of the story, she had us write an alternative ending. 

Sometimes, she makes us “do something science” when we haven’t formally touched on the subject in a while. For instance, the other day, she handed out straws, strings, and a book on space frame structures and told us to build a few and tell her all about it (and then write about it, complete with diagrams).

When available, she lets us play with science kits with specific instructions to not blow up the house.

She likes to dedicate entire mornings to art and will forbid anyone from eating on the dining table that she had covered with plastic and art supplies.

When the projects are based on famous pieces, we have to read about the artist and write about it, even if it’s just one sentence. Sometimes, I don’t want to do art, but she insists it is awesomely fun and makes me do it anyway.

If I complain long enough, she lets me do math instead. It’s nice to know I have options.

What types of questions do you get about your homeschool?

Originally published on March 12, 2014.

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

Written by Amida of Journey into Unschooling.

Chinese New Year is just around the corner and for me, it means a massive purge session. Something about the upcoming New Year always brings on the urge for me to clean, clean, clean.

Out with the old and in with the — well, hopefully, nothing!

This time around, I am determined to keep the Stuff at bay and out of my house.

Just seeing the amount of things that have snuck in and filled up all corners of my home is enough to make me think twice about my spending and acquiring habits (because in actuality, a lot of things enter in the form of gifts, freebies, and deals-too-good-to-pass-up).

Want to join me in cleaning out the clutter?

If so, grab your gloves and 30-gallon heavy duty bags and favorite playlist. It’s time to purge!

Touch and dump

My method for a great cleaning is simple — move fast and think fast. This is no time to be wishy-washy or sentimental.

Just start with a pile, a box, or a table top and remove everything on it that you don’t want. Don’t ponder too much about each item.

I find it helpful to visualize what I want the space to look like before cleaning. If it’s a cleared counter top, then I work towards that and know that everything has to be thrown away, given away, or put away.

It’s always slow going at first but once you start seeing space, momentum takes over and you will want to just get rid of everything to make even more space.

It’s a thrilling feeling to declutter.

Realize what works for you

One year, I put all my loose beans and grains into mason jars and stored them in the cabinet.

It looked fantastic! So pretty, so organized!

This year, I threw them all away, because apparently, it never occurred to me to look for food in pretty mason jars. I usually just open a bag of beans or whatnot and cook the whole thing.

If you, on the other hand, like transferring all your dried goods into more visually appealing containers, the go for it.

What’s important is to know how you use your space and what works for you.

Schedule a donation or garbage pick-up

I am lucky to live in an area with lots of donation options, many that come right to your house to pick up your stuff for you.

Usually, I don’t schedule a pick up until I’ve got a good five or six bags filled. Then I have a better idea of how many more I can fill up and can give a better estimate for the driver.

Besides the donation truck, I also schedule the garbage truck to pick up extra bags, preferably around the same time as donations pick up.

Don’t save (too much) for the next kid

I love hand-me-downs, especially the baby clothes worn by all my kids.

But in reality, as they get older, they develop their own tastes in clothes and acquire their own sets through gifts, so it’s pointless to keep saving for the next kid.

I totally understand if your children are close in age and of the same gender. But for me, I’d end up storing clothes for 3-4 years before the next kid even fits them. That means at any given time, I have at least 4-5 complete wardrobes in storage. That’s a lot of potential space!

If you have kids, chances are, you have toys, and tons of them. We have so many toys that most are stored in the garage and not played with.

Why store toys that aren’t played with? I do keep a few outgrown ones for keepsakes, but the rest end up in the donation bag.

Gifts and freebies

I love getting gifts, but honestly, I don’t love most of it.

Many times, we open gifts, admire them for a few days and then sort of forget about them.

Instead of letting them collect dust on the counter, if it isn’t love at first sight, return or re-gift to someone who would love it more. I won’t tell.

And now on to my ultimate weakness — homeschool freebies.

If you are part of a homeschool group, more than likely, someone somewhere is getting rid of something.

You get all excited and take everything home — textbooks, workbooks, craft kits, science kits — you’ve really hit the jackpot!

“I’ll sort through them again later and integrate them into our school day,” you tell yourself.

But then days pass, then weeks, and before you know it, that pile has taken up valuable space in the garage for months on end and you have absolutely no use for the majority of it.

I know. It’s hard to say no. But the truth is, you, like the person before you, probably won’t and will never have use for 95% of the stuff in that freebie pile.

Do yourself a favor and get rid of it.

So there you have it, my game plan to major clean outs: visualize your space and get rid of everything that doesn’t fit in that picture. It may take a couple of days, it may even take a week. But be diligent and continue editing and deleting until you’ve reach a “done” point.

I cannot tell you how exhilarating it feels to walk into my kitchen after a good purging and see counter space, as opposed to piles of stuff.

The best time to start is now. Grab that bag and start editing.

How do you keep the clutter under control?

Written by Amida from Journey into Unschooling.

Another year, another day in the life! I can’t believe I’ve been writing these for the past four years!

Choosing a day to represent your homeschool is no easy feat, but this time around, I thought I’d share how a typical day went when I was uninspired and just winging it (and I’m sure we all have our moments).

The day started off very slowly. I knew I wanted my 8-year-old to get some work done, but was just very unmotivated to get started.

Then I spotted some left over origami paper from the bookmark projects we had worked on a few days ago (nothing ever gets put away around here) and got totally distracted and started making dolls.

Hey, they were pretty fun! I shared my procrastination funk with my friends online and they were very motivating. “That’s art! And culture! And math!” they said.

Sure, except I was the one doing all the work, and well, I kind of graduated 3rd grade years ago.

Luckily, my daughter had her own plans. While I was busy working on the second doll, she busted out the markers and crayons and drew the first doll I had made. It was so stinkin’ cute!

I love that she added on the dango and traditional sandals, details she had no doubt logged in from our many trips to Japantown. That was definitely art and culture right here.

It was just the jump-start we needed.

After that, we went straight into math, completing about three lessons in one sitting. We learned about arrays, three times tables, and functions.

We even squeezed in some language arts and she wrote out some silly similes — this one being my favorite: Reading is as enjoyable as raising chickens. It was a reference, of course, to our new backyard pets, and totally suited the assignment.

Finally, she did some reading practice, though I must say, she isn’t really into Judy Moody. Or Nancy Clancy. Or any typical “girl” books.

And I for one, can’t stand Ivy and Bean and Junie B. Jones.

But she totally humored me and went along, with the promise of better reading material later. We never did find out how Judy Moody’s day went past chapter 2.

I later realized that my whole problem with finding the perfect 8-year-old girl book was that the 3rd grade selection was too limiting.

As an experiment that night, I gave her the choice of listening to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Nancy Drew, My Father’s Dragon, and Journey to the Center of the Earth for bedtime.

To my surprise, she chose the Jules Verne story and excitedly read it to me.

It was a great ending to what started out as a very slow unmotivated day. We plowed through reading, writing, and ‘rithmetic, with a little art and culture thrown in.

I was so proud of all we had managed to accomplish on the fly.

Are most of your homeschool days planned out or do you also make it up as you go?

How the days have changed:

• 2014: Amida’s homeschool day in the life (with a 3, 7-, 12- and 15-year-old)
• 2013: Amida’s homeschool day in the life (with a 2-, 6-, 11-, and 14-year-old)
• 2012: Amida’s homeschool day in the life (with a 1-, 5-, 10-, and 13-year-old)
• 2011: Amida’s homeschool day in the life (with a newborn, 4-, 9-, & 12-year-old)

Written by contributor Amida of Journey Into Unschooling

I remember the first time I called myself an unschooler. I had just read John Holt’s Teach Your Own and was impressed with his vision of an alternative educational style in which children were encouraged to learn outside of school.

He saw children as scientists, eager and capable of exploring and experimenting with the world around them. Yes, I thought, that is exactly what I wanted my children to experience.

I had visions of them spending their days wandering through nature, collecting and identifying leaves, filling notepads with their amazingly original stories, learning math, engineering, civics, and science through a year-long project of designing and building a cardboard, solar-powered city.

It was learning at its fantastical best — fun, natural, and meaningful.

Up until then, our family had already been homeschooling for about five years. We were mostly traditional, Well-Trained-Mind types with plans to cover history in four-year rotations, complete daily Saxon math drills, and crank out grammatically perfect essays, beautifully written in italics, of course.

Science was to be studied in roughly the same manner, with a four-year-cycle that closely followed the time periods of ancient, medieval, early modern, and modern times in history. Honestly, I loved the structure and academics that went along with a classical education. It made for brilliant kids that read well and tested even better in standardized tests.

Unschoolers, I thought, were just a loose, disorganized, and dare I say, lazy bunch who considered grocery shopping “math” and seeing rainbows through the sprinklers “science”.

So we toiled away at endless math problems, narrations and copywork. My children were well above grade level in all subjects and had better penmanship than your average highschooler.

But there was something missing for me. As the years went by, the blasted math never ended, and my kids grew to hate it, as did I.

Some days, it took just as long trying to begin as it did to complete, and we felt forever behind (even though we weren’t) and never had time for anything fun.

I am a creative person by nature and not having that outlet took its toll on me, and in turn, my children. We never made it past the Grammar Stage.

My Journey into Unschooling

That first year of unschooling, I decided to ditch every curriculum we had and just start from scratch, doing whatever it was that we wanted. We started a monthly art gallery, dissected diapers to see how they worked, and challenged ourselves to create machines and doo-dads out of everyday items.

We practiced our estimating skills with the help of plastic army soldiers. We took field trips to all the local science attractions and volunteered our time with local community groups. We spent weekends doing art inspired by those in art museums.

We turned history lessons into cartoons as a way of record keeping what was learned. As for math? We looked up stories at the library and explored math through literature and manipulatives.

Looking back, it was a pretty awesome time. Did I worry about whether they were learning the right things or at the very least, enough? Of course. Did I worry when they went in for their year-end standardized tests? Yes.

But then again, I worried about those things before I unschooled. I think every homeschooling parent shares these concerns at some point or other. We constantly think about our children’s education just as we think about whether they had brushed before bed. It comes with the territory.

As the kids got older, we did start adding more structure here and there. We have spent time on writing and online programs, learning math through games, science through kits, and history through TV shows.

We have purchased dozens of workbooks, studied classical artists, and learned how to play Star Wars music on the piano. Nevertheless, whether we end up spending our days with Sir Cumference and Horrible Histories, or with Saxon and Story of the World, I still consider us to be unschoolers.

Unschooling, I have learned, isn’t yet another container to pigeonhole our educational philosophy into. Conversely, it is a way of thinking out of the box, learning in whatever way works for us.

Somedays, a worksheet or structured curriculum may just be the thing to help grasp a concept. Other times, a magical day finding rainbows may be all the science we need.

How has your homeschooling evolved through the years?

Originally published on December 5, 2013.

Written by Amida at Journey into Unschooling. She has met a lot of friendly moms at park days.

Socialization seems to be a sort of taboo subject among homeschoolers. More often than not, when questioned, we get defensive and rattle off a whole list of opportunities that meet our child’s social needs.

Most veterans I know scoff at the notion that there even is an issue. After all, they argue, my kids have ample opportunities to meet with a wide range of people and ages in a natural, organic way. They aren’t just limited to their peer-group.

It’s the way friendships work in the real world!

It’s been my experience, however, that socialization, and specifically, friends, don’t always come easily when you don’t have a ready-made peer group. Sure, your kids may have a knack for talking up the local postman or supermarket clerk, but, I also want my kids to grow up with friends their age.

Fortunately for you, the rumors are true. Kids do make friends almost effortlessly. Just throw them in with other kids and eventually, even your shy wallflower has a good chance of clicking with someone.

It’s the moms I’m worried about here. Certainly, your career-minded best friend isn’t going to understand your survival mechanisms for 24-7 mom/chauffeur/teacher/housekeeper duty.

You need another homeschooling mom.

One obvious way to meet this friendship need is the homeschool playgroup, where like-minded families gather to just play. Having children in a wide range of ages, I’ve gone to my share of new groups in an effort to meet other hip moms and their (hopefully) charming and appropriately aged kids.

The good news is, the more gatherings you attend, the larger your pool of familiar faces, even if they aren’t immediately BFFs.

Photo by Britney Randolph

Here are five easy steps to becoming a more socialized mom.

Find a playgroup

In a big city like mine, there seems to be no end to the amount of homeschool groups popping up on the Internet. Ask other moms which groups they belong to and if you can tag along on their next park day.

If you’re starting at ground zero, just google for homeschool groups in your area and check out their age ranges. My kids span twelve years, so every few years, I go scouting for another group to hook up with so my younger ones have playmates their own age.

Attend a park day

Once you find a potential match, ask the group coordinator if you can attend a park day to check it out.

This is perhaps the hardest part about socializing for moms — taking that first step.

Don’t overthink it and don’t overdress. Just take the advice you always give your kids — be yourself.

Remember, you’re not signing any marriage contract. You’re just checking the group out — if you click with someone, great! If not, don’t despair, which brings us to…

Attend another park day

Yes, you should go again. Sometimes, you can’t really connect with anyone that first day. Usually, everyone already knows everyone else, and you need time to be a more familiar face they can hand a baby over to while they settle whose turn it is to be It.

More often than not, they are probably also checking you out and wondering if you’re future playdate material. It’s a bit like dating…for moms.

Also, given the nature of park days, you’re bound to see someone who didn’t come that first day, or if you’re in luck, another newbie shows up and you are suddenly propelled into old pro status.

Touch base

If you were lucky enough to make connections with another mom, and find her kids passable, be sure to exchange contact info and write her a follow up email.

“Hey, it was wonderful meeting you at the park today. You children are adorable and Josie enjoyed playing with them. What days are you free? Josie would  love to meet up again to play …”

You get the idea. For gosh sakes, be sincere.

Photo by mrhayata

Pencil in a play-date

Not to be confused with the Park-Day, the Play-Date is much more intimate and usually involves just a few moms and their kids. These are special arrangements away from the larger group and affords great opportunity to bond and get to know each other.

One of the most awesome experiences of homeschooling is seeing the children in the play groups grow up together and have their moms know exactly what you mean when you’re complaining about a bad school day.

Pay it forward

Congratulations! So you’ve made connections, you’re an integral part of the group.

You can now dangle the park day carrot in front of the kids to get them to hurry up with the school work! You have peeps to make play dates with and commiserate with you on on those days you wonder why you ever signed up for this homeschooling gig.

Remember to pay it forward. Next time you go to a park day and see a newbie, don’t leave her sitting by herself pretending to have fun pushing the swing. Go introduce yourself and your kids and strike up a conversation.

Tell her all about the group and the wonderfulness it entails. Sometimes, it’s hard to make a new friend.

Socialization takes effort but in the end, it pays off. And remember, just be yourself.

Do you have advice for reaching out to other homeschooling parents?

Contributor amida blogs at Journey into Unschooling. She could definitely use a cheat day today.

Let’s face it, homeschooling is hard work: you’re with the kids 24/7, with the responsibility of their entire educational experience and academic success, not to mention their emotional and physical needs — and if you’re real lucky, the state of your house — resting on your shoulders — every single day.

That’s a big load for anybody and, without proper breaks, could quickly lead to burnout.

That’s why, like any successful diet plan, it is so important to have built-in cheat days, when you can veer off the regularly scheduled programming and give yourself and your brood permission to take it easy.

Photo by With Associates

Increase motivation

Spending time with the kids isn’t a jail sentence and you shouldn’t feel bad for not doing school every day.

Hey, we all have days when there are loads of dishes to clear and laundry to wash and errands to run. You know, that big offender of scheduling conflict — your life?

Besides, a break from the norm beats boredom, increases motivation and recharges the soul. You heard it here. It’s been proven that you lose more weight and are more likely to turn the ugly D word into a lifestyle when you allow yourself that piece of cake once a week.

You’re less likely to feel deprived and in turn, you’re more motivated to stay on track the rest of the time. If you feel you always have to “do school” without any breaks, you might very quickly come to dread it.

At my house, we have days where we do straight up school work and get a ton of things done. Then we take a day off and do nothing. It’s all about balance.

Finding balance

Like all things homeschool, there are no hard and fast rules. For some families, such as those on a 4-day-a-week schedule, a cheat day may just mean one day set aside to play catch up.

For others, it could be a designated time for field trips, playdates, or errands.

And of course, it could be like my all time favorite — a total (in social media speak) #noexcusesnecessary #justfeellikeit #sorrynotsorry #playallday off day.

The key to success is control. Just like you shouldn’t eat an entire cake every week and expect to fit into those same jeans, you wouldn’t play hooky every day and expect your kids learn their times tables.

Again, it’s about balance.

Photo by Quinn Dombrowski
This is not to say you have to actually schedule a physical day into the calendar. Take them as you please if that’s what floats your boat. Don’t beat yourself up for it.

Some days I take a break but have the kids continue work on their own on easy stuff like copywork or reading and of course, educational videos.

Remember, cheat days are a necessity for your physical and mental well-being. When Mom (or Dad) is happy, the kids are happy. And happy makes for a better homeschool experience.

It’s more than just a day to pencil in. It’s a lifestyle.

So when you’re feeling the burn and just need to STOP and not look at another word problem, do what the good doctor says: Take two (days off) and call me in the morning.

How do you spend your cheat days?

Contributor Amida is currently obsessed with chickens and often blogs about them at Journey Into Unschooling. 

This summer, I decided to ditch the school work and focus on a more natural learning style, allowing our interest to dictate which topics we would explore. For my three-year-old, it was the different structures at the playground and figuring out daredevil ways to get the most play out of them. My teenage son had a newfound interest in knives and began his personal research on the various types and their pros and cons.

For me, it all boiled down to chickens.

Project-based learning is something I’ve always believed in and aspire to integrate in our home learning environment.

For years, I’ve dreamt of the perfect summer project. The opportunity finally came when we met a couple of chicks facing eviction from the community garden, where they had set up residence without permission.

Being as there was already an established and full flock at the garden, these two newcomers had to go. I decided to rescue them on the spot and raise them as our own, and hence, a summer project was born.

Through our chicken project, I identified three phases I think are essential in the learning process: exploration, experimentation, and explanation.

Exploration:

This is first phase, we figure out what we know and what we need to know. It is a time for research and intense immersion into our subject.

When I first got the idea to raise chickens, I knew nothing about the keeping of poultry. I interviewed everyone I knew who owned backyard chickens and read up on lots of literature.

My favorite titles:

• Storey’s Guide to Raising Chickens by Gail Damerow
• Chick Days: An Absolute Beginner’s Guide to Raising Chickens from Hatching to Laying by Jenna Woginrich
• Free-Range Chicken Gardens: How to Create a Beautiful, Chicken-Friendly Yard by Jessi Bloom

Of course, I also started spending a lot of time with chickens themselves, taking in their habits, diet, and studying their coop infrastructure. I learned quickly that this was going to be a messy hobby and researched ways to a cleaner coop.

In the world of backyard chickens, there is a host of information to acquire. What breed(s) are you raising and what are the temperaments/egg laying abilities of the breed? Where will they live? (Chick Days includes a handy chart with this information.)

How will you deal with ticks and rats and predators? (See Free-Range Chicken Gardens.) What are the basic equipment you need to raise them healthy? (See Storey’s Guide.)

Experimentation:

My main concern in regards to the chickens was their coop requirement.  My initial inclination was to buy a coop, but I didn’t really want to spend $200 up front for housing of free chickens, so I started researching building our own.

Considering we had zero woodwork experience outside of a half-semester of woodshop I took in the 6th grade, this was going to be a challenge. But, as luck would have it, we came across a pile of pallets, which set my mind into high gear.

One week and many configurations later, we had a pretty decent coop, made up of the pallets, scrap wood, and windows from old TV units — we even managed to turn an old toy wood bench into a nesting box! Through trial and error, we figured out the best placement of the pieces we had and how to attach everything so that it was secure and predator safe.

Explanation:

One way I know when my kids have learnt something is their ability to explain the topic to someone else. Throughout this project, I talked constantly with the kids about chickens and their coop, and they in turn, shared their new knowledge with anyone who needed to know.

Nobody was “required” to help me, but of course, they all contributed, whether it be assistance through muscle, or tool selection, or testing out the integrity of the coop itself by climbing in and out of it (of course, I made sure everything was secured ahead of time).

We learned the names of different chicken breeds, and figured that what we had were hybrids called Red Sex Links (and what that curious name even meant!).

We looked through photos of lots and lots of coops before settling on our design, based mostly on materials available and our basic skill level. There were features we wanted to incorporate and others that were filed away for later, when we had more time and skill.

It has been a wonderful experience and one that will no doubt require more learning and growing when the chickens move in!

Our learning was born out of interest and necessity — with a natural ease that I know learning was meant to be.

As we built the coop, so too, did we build up our skills and knowledge in the topic. This is something I hope to carry on into the school year.

Were there any summer projects that allowed you to learn as a family?