Kari’s Homeschool Day in the Life (with a 4-, 6-, 15-, and 18-year-old) ~
Written by Kari Patterson of Sacred Mundane

(A note from Jamie: Out of the 15 years we’ve been doing this series, Kari has shared TWELVE homeschool days from her life with us! I’m so grateful for her voice on Simple Homeschool for over a decade and for this final day in the life she’s sharing with us. Thank you, Kari! xo, Jamie)

My goal this year was to find our new normal.

Like Amber, it’s been a doozy of a few years around here. Three years ago my mom had just passed, two years ago we were living in a travel trailer taking care of my dad who had leukemia, and last year we were making his hospice arrangements.

Oh, before all that was the pandemic. So yeah.

And while I can’t say I know what normal really is (is that even a thing?), here’s what a typical Tuesday looks like around here:

Kari’s Homeschool Day in the Life (with a 4-, 6-, 15-, and 18-year-old)

Morning

My first conscious thought is, “Ah, it’s Tuesday. I don’t have to get up,” accompanied by a ridiculous amount of happiness. Can anybody relate? I used to rise crazy-early but these days it’s like my body is making up for lost time. *smile*

I roll over and enjoy the not-getting-up.

We’re in an unusual window with our four where the Olders are old enough to be on their own school-wise, and the Youngers are young enough that we haven’t begun a super structured school routine.

Not going to lie, it’s nice.

When I emerge from my room it’s almost 8am. Heidi (15) is at the stove scrambling eggs, Justice (6) and Ben (4) are on the floor playing MagnaTiles and Lego, and my husband Jeff is in the corner chair reading. A fire is crackling in the woodstove, outside is a frozen blanket of frost.

It’s so idyllic I actually just stand and soak it in for a moment. As a mom you know these lovely quiet moments rarely last!

We also happen to be fresh off a wicked bout of Norovirus, so I look sadly at the coffee pot and spend a quick moment of silence lamenting that still, nothing sounds good. I pour a little, sniff it, sadly sigh, and set it down. Not yet.

I stand and stare at the contents of the fridge and at all the shelves in the pantry, baffled by how every single thing sounds gross, then realize it’s 8:12am and it’s Tuesday.

“Is Dutch up??”

Whoops. Yes, he has an alarm, but I’m not sure he remembered that his sister now has piano lessons before their Community College classes begin. We’re all still a bit off from this sickness.

I take the stairs two at a time up to his room and gently nudge him.

“Um, you guys need to leave in 8 minutes. How can I help you?”

He stirs, fairly comatose but still in good spirits. Two minutes later he’s dressed, backpack slung over his shoulder. Jeff and I band together to present him a breakfast and sack-lunch, tuck a liquid IV-spiked water bottle under his arm, and he and Heidi head out only five minutes late.

High School

Dutch (18) is taking his last few high school classes at our local community college. We’ve used a Diploma program through a local homeschool testing and resource center that utilizes a private umbrella school through which homeschool students can receive academic advising, plus diploma and transcript services.

We were thrilled to learn that he was just named Valedictorian for this year’s graduating class!

For high school, Dutch has taken a variety of online HSLDA courses, in-person classes taught through a local “school” for homeschool teens, community college classes, and independent coursework. This hybrid approach has worked well for him.

Heidi (almost 16) is enrolled in Baker Early College, a charter school that allows her to get her high school diploma and Associates Degree at the same time. She is now taking all of her classes at our local community college, so this works out well for rides, as they are on campus at the same times each week.

This charter school also organizes regional activities (roller skating, escape rooms, a prom) for its students (and each can invite one other non-Baker student). She has quite a few theater friends in this program, so she loves that they can enjoy these group outings together, all provided and sponsored by Baker.

Typically every Tuesday morning, Jeff takes the little boys to visit a dear couple in their late 80’s/early 90’s, who were friends of my parents and I have quiet hour to read my Bible and pray. #luxury

But since we were so recently sick, Jeff calls to say they’ll play it safe and wait until next week. He heads to his office (he works from home on Tuesdays) and the Littles and I begin our day.

Daytime

Our days don’t have a lot of structure at this point as I’m honestly just enjoying the luxury of not having to be super-structured. Every day we do an assortment of laundry and chores, cook meals, go for a walk outside, do our IEW curriculum, play games, and read lots and lots and lots of books.

We’re at the reading stage where I read regular books and Justice hops in with words here and there, or he reads Easy Reader books and I hop in with words here and there.

And Ben hops in and repeats whatever we’re saying so as not to be left behind. *smile* Justice also loves to write, and we occasionally work on our “Letter Lessons,” memorizing character traits and verses.

Somewhere mid-afternoon the teens arrive back home. Dutch makes a quick turnaround to get back into town for wrestling practice. Heidi begins homework, or practices piano and rehearses for Anastasia, the current theater production. In the late-afternoon the boys and I clean up and I let them watch a short Lego video on the iPad while I gather my wits and start dinner.

Evenings

I’m grateful our days are slow because our evenings are pretty full. Tuesday nights Heidi and I head to Bible Study, then she takes a late-night ballet intensive class.

We don’t get home until almost 11pm, so it was a good thing I slept in! *wink*

Thank you for following along on our day. If you have any thoughts or questions about having Bigs and Littles, feel free to drop a line below!

My, how the days have changed:

• • 2024: Kari’s Homeschool Day in the Life (with a 3-, 5-, 15-, and 17-year-old)
  • 2023: Kari’s Homeschool Day in the Life (with a 2-, 4-, 13-, and 16-year-old)
  • 2022: Kari’s Homeschool Day in the Life (with a 1-, 3-, 13-, and 15-year-old)
  • 2021:  Kari’s homeschool day in the life (with a newborn, 2-, 11- and 14-year-old)
  • 2020: Kari’s homeschool day in the life (with a 1-, 10-, and 13-year-old)
  • 2019: Kari’s homeschool day in the life (with a 5-month, 9- and 12-year old)
  • 2018: Kari’s homeschool day in the life (with a 9-and 11-year-old)
  • 2017: Kari’s homeschool day in the life (with a 7- and 10-year-old)
  • 2016: Kari’s homeschool day in the life (with a 7- and 9-year-old)
  • 2015: Kari’s homeschool day in the life (with a 5- & 8-year-old)
  • 2014: Kari’s homeschool day in the life (with a 4- & 7-year-old)

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

Celebrate and Serve: 2 ways to help a wide age-range work together ~
Written by Kari Patterson of Sacred Mundane

The tabs currently open on my computer:

• FAFSA form for college financial aid
• Printable Spiderman coloring pages
• OSAA High School wrestling schedule
• IEW phonetic games
• CollegeBoard SAT dates
• Marvel easy-reader books
• Canvas Parent Observer account

My kids range from 4-18, and the age-differences can be dizzying. We’re navigating basic addition and college applications. Consonant blends and precalculus. 

Anybody else?

There are many helpful articles out there about possible schedules, splitting up the day to help different children, ways to include youngers with the olders. My intent is simply to offer one overarching goal as a guide.

In two words, it is:

Celebrate and Serve: 2 ways to help a wide age-range get along

1. CELEBRATE their siblings.

I have written about this before, but there is great benefit in learning together and living together with wide age-ranges.

We just finished a 1,600-mile round trip road trip to visit my brother and his family over Thanksgiving. It is a long drive, but nothing compared to the 6-week, 10,000-mile road trip we did in 2022.

Yes, being cooped up together for that long can have its moments, and what activities interest some ages certainly don’t interest the others. But I believe the benefits can be even greater when we encourage our children to celebrate the differences between them and their siblings, rather than resenting or despising them.

How? We, as the parents, get to lead the way:

Teens and adults alike do well to not take ourselves too seriously — a little running around at the park, going down a slide, swinging, playing with play-doh, coloring, building Lego sets, and having a Nerf battle.

All of those things delight little ones and, I dare say, delight us big people if we’d just let ourselves relax a little bit and have fun.

Similarly, we can help little ones embrace the lifestyle of older kids — going to sporting events, riding in the car taking big kids to activities, going to museums, and learning to play independently so Mom can help the olders. All of those things can be “big kid” milestones and can be celebrated.

All younger kids want to “be big,” so having older siblings offers lots of opportunities to do just that.

2. SERVE their siblings.

There is just no way to overstate the importance of this, and having a wide age-range is a great way to practice.

We have to model for them and instill in them the value of serving their siblings. Siblings are the first practice they have for relationships, for marriage, for co-worker interactions, for friendships they will have their whole life long.

Sibling relationships matter! And having a wide age-range is incredibly helpful because it gives them a daily opportunity to love, appreciate, and serve those who are different from them. 

I constantly see my teens embody this, and it makes my heart soar. They take the littles for me, play games with them, help them get dressed, get ready for bed, help teach them, and read them stories often without being asked at all.

After six years now of having little siblings, they have learned to see needs around them and step up to serve.

The little ones are still in process. Just today I asked Justice (6) to wait to go outside until Ben (4) was ready, then asked him to also help Ben get his shoes on. He was in a hurry to get outside to join his friend, so he sighed exaggeratedly and lamented, “I’m not his parent!”

So yeah, the enthusiasm to serve each other isn’t always there. *smile*

Little ones can serve the olders as well. Little Ben can carry Dutch’s laundry upstairs for him, since Dutch is at his Community College classes all day. Both little boys can help with chores, make signs to cheer on their older siblings at events, help pack their lunches, etc.

There’s no end to the opportunities to serve each other.

So while yes, a wide age-range can be hard, there are also so many opportunities for good. It can look different for each family, but let’s celebrate and serve.

* Read more from Kari’s 12 years writing on Simple Homeschool.

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

When is my child ready to choose their own path? ~
Written by Kari Patterson of Sacred Mundane

“We homeschool not so our kids are insulated from the world. We homeschool to make sure the concrete has been hardened before we put heavy loads on it.”

I vividly remember setting foot in my first classroom, 34 years ago. I was 10. I had been homeschooled until halfway through 5th grade.

At that time, my brother (two years older) had started 7th grade at the local public school where my dad taught, in order to play sports. Not loving being the only kid at home anymore, I had asked if I too could go to school.

To my parents’ credit, they carefully considered this, evaluating my character and development, and saw the value of letting me begin to make choices about my life.

Though I didn’t make perfect choices, I’m grateful I got to make them.

Even at 10, my parents had already instilled their values in my heart. I knew who I was, I was secure in their love. And I recognized that while they were my anchor, they weren’t afraid to let me have a pretty long leash.

I could explore and make choices, even fail. I learned that failure wasn’t something to be afraid of, but a normal part of life.

I remember knowing I was loved unconditionally, and that they were physically and emotionally available for me, but that they weren’t afraid to let me make decisions for my life.

What this communicated to me was that they had confidence in me. 

This gave me confidence and, I believe, actually helped me make good choices. They were convinced I’d do the right thing, so I most certainly didn’t want to prove them wrong!

I was vaguely aware through the years, that perhaps not everyone agreed with my parents’ decision to let us go to school. I’m sure we seemed “worldly” to some onlookers, my parents perhaps appeared to be homeschool sell-outs.

My mom had been very outspoken about her conviction to homeschool, so it probably seemed strange when she then enrolled us in public school and started working at that same school.

But I am so grateful that my mom did not let her own pride, fear, or her own personal preference, keep her from giving my brother and me the freedom to make choices for ourselves. 

So how do we know when our children are ready to choose their own path about their education?

If I may mix metaphors for a moment: When the concrete has hardened, it can bear a heavy load. 

Of course, we’re never not susceptible to harmful influences. Bad company can corrupt anyone, but as parents we get the honor of discerning when the time is right to begin handing choices and freedom over to our child.

There is a weight to these decisions. To hand them over too early can crush, can leave them tossed to and fro in the storm of this chaotic world. To hold back and refuse them these decisions, even when they’re ready, can create hopelessness, resentment, and anxiety.

I do not pretend to know how to do this perfectly. But here are a few questions that can help us evaluate when to let them choose their own path:

1. What type of friends does my child gravitate toward? Am I pleased with these choices, or do I need to focus more on teaching them to recognize and seek out healthy influences?
2. How does my child respond to temptation? Do they easily give in, or do they have a decent dose of self-control developed?
3. How does my child use their time? Do they constantly dawdle or distract themselves, or are they able to stay on task for an age-appropriate length of time?
4. Do I see any red-flags related to identity? Does my child seek validation from others or seem susceptible to compromising their values in order to gain approval of others? Are they dishonest?

It’s certainly not an exhaustive list, but it can get us going as we consider. I believe that holding children back from being able to choose their own path for their life is just as detrimental as turning them loose far too early.

But when the time is right, when the concrete has hardened sufficiently, we can set them free to build a beautiful life on the foundation we have laid.

* Find more of Kari’s wisdom here.

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

And now he’s a Senior: Reflecting on 12 years at Simple Homeschool ~
Written by Kari Patterson of Sacred Mundane

He was five when I wrote my first homeschool post. Headed into Kindergarten, reading Bob books. I already felt overwhelmed and we hadn’t even started.

I’d followed Jamie for several years at SteadyMom.com. I’d read her book; I loved her approach. No hype or gimmicks. Just steadiness, simplicity.

A genuine enjoyment of one’s kids. A balance between order and spontaneity. When I read her writing I could feel myself relax.

Yes. I need this.

So I figured it couldn’t hurt to send a request: Would she consider letting me write for her homeschool site? 

I didn’t figure I had a chance. I was a nobody. A beginner. What right did I have to contribute?

To my amazement, she said yes.

She let me in.

So with trembling fingers I decided to draft up the perspective I most wanted to have, and what I thought might encourage other scared moms like me. Be a beginner. The truth is, we’re all just figuring this out as we go.

Twelve years later, Dutch is 17 and entering his Senior Year. I’ve been writing an article for Simple Homeschool every six weeks for 12 years.

It’s such a gift to be able to follow our journey through the years, and Dutch’s Senior year has provided the perfect opportunity for some reflection.

There are a few things I see now…

Now He’s a Senior: Reflecting on 12 years at Simple Homeschool

1. That beginner feeling never goes away.

Of course there are areas where I feel more confident now.  I was so stressed over keeping up with other kids his age. Now that I get “round 2” with my little boys (3 & 6), I’m way more relaxed.

But I certainly don’t feel like an expert!

Each child is different, so each educational experience is different. Sure, I’ve homeschooled two kids almost clear through, but I don’t yet know exactly what homeschooling Justice will be like, or Ben. I get to start again, so I still get the benefits of being a beginner.

2. Homeschool philosophies and strategies shift dramatically with ages and stages.

When my big kids were little, I spent so much time trying to figure out what kind of homeschooling we wanted to do. Charlotte Mason, Unschool, traditional, Waldorf, Thomas Jefferson, etc. Of course I ended up with a hodge-podge of them all, but what I wish I had understood was how much is really just based on their developmental age and stage.

How homeschooling looks in the young years is drastically different from how it looks in high school.  If I get so stuck on adhering to a certain philosophy I won’t have the flexibility to adapt when my children grow up. (Much to my disappointment I learned that nature walks don’t earn high school credit!) *smile*

3. How you homeschool has as much to do with your style as it does your children’s, and that’s okay.

Of course we’d like to believe that everything we do is solely because of our children’s needs or what is objectively best based on research. And yes, that’s a great thing to keep in mind — we shouldn’t be making this thing about us.

But it’s also true that you’re part of this equation and you’re a unique human, so what is going to work for your family unit must be something that works for you. I am the least crafty person alive. The idea of math manipulatives made me break out in hives.

A steady stream of art projects would’ve sent me running for the hills. So for better or worse, we skipped most of those. I sent Heidi to art camp instead! Knowing your own aversions and personality needs is definitely something to consider when crafting your homeschool plans.

We can be brave enough to take a hard look at what might be our weak areas and consider enlisting outside help so that our children don’t bear the brunt of those shortcomings.

4. Homeschooling may not be the best option for everyone in every season.

In my early years I think my own insecurity made me constantly feel like I had to prove that homeschooling was the best option.  And to be fair, I was convinced that it was the best option for us. But 12 years later I truly believe that homeschooling isn’t the best option for every child in every season.

In recent years I’ve recommended many different private and public school options to friends, based on individual children’s needs or specific situations in home and family life.

I’m afraid that some spheres can become so homeschool-heavy that moms feel pressured to take on something that may not actually be best for that child at that time.

This year my Heidi will be starting an Early College program where she’ll take all of her classes through our local community college. It just occurred to me today that that means she’s technically no longer homeschooling. This particular programs fits her well, she’s ready for this next step of freedom, and we believe it’s best for her.

What about you parents who have graduating kiddos? What have you learned from the last dozen years? I’d love to learn more from you. Thanks for reading. 

* Read more of Kari’s encouragement from the last 12 years.

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

Do we depend too much on our kids? ~ Written by Kari Patterson

The wording might sound weird, but the idea resonates with me deeply: Once your child’s a teen, you’re no longer the star of the show.

You might be thinking, Star of the show? What show?

My daughter Heidi (15) is in youth theater and we have a running joke that I keep waiting for the artistic team to call and ask me to play some lead role. Come on, I can totally be Elsa! Give me a chance!

Yeah not happening. I had my season on the stage. I now work backstage, and I love it! It’s my children’s time to shine.

Most moms I know aren’t looking for a spotlight (and I’m not saying parents literally shouldn’t be on stages), I just mean that life really isn’t about me anymore.

Of course this starts from day one as parents. We mamas give up our bodies, time, sleep, energy, we set ourselves aside over and over as our little ones grow up.

But sometimes, we might miss the memo that this not-about-me aspect of parenthood only increases as they grow older.

And if we don’t wrap our minds around this and establish our own well-being, secure identity, and mental health, we can dangerously depend on our children or inadvertently make their journeys too much our own.

Do we depend too much on our kids?

Let’s consider how this can play out in our lives and our children’s.

Do we depend too much on our kids for SIGNIFICANCE?

For those hungry for significance, we can easily look to our children’s world to establish our own worth.

This begins early! If our toddler tantrums in public we’re wrecked emotionally, angry and embarrassed. A healthy pride over our child’s accomplishments can grow into increasing pressure placed on them to perform, because we see their success as ours.

As they grow, we can make their endeavors about our own pursuits.

Do we lean on our kids for SECURITY?

For those hungry for security, we can subtly use our children to give us emotional comfort and support.

Perhaps all introverts can identify with how helpful it is to have a child to “hide behind” in social settings. No shame in that, it can certainly make parties easier.

But as they grow, we can become unhealthily dependent on them, especially if our adult relationships are problematic.

Both of these place a pressure on children they were never meant to bear. Children were never intended to be our source of significance or security, and though they might never be able to articulate it, the result of having to shoulder that ill-fitting burden often ends in resentment.

So how do we avoid this? Asking ourselves a few questions can help.

For the little years:

• Do I get angry and resentful when my child’s behavior interrupts my day or causes me discomfort?
• Do I display these feelings in such a way that my child feels responsible for my own emotional state?
• Am I modeling emotional regulation or am I sending the message that my child has the power to make or break my day?
• Do I overly depend on having my child with me as a sort of social security blanket?

For the middle years:

• Have I over-booked my child’s life with activities that he or she may not actually want to do?
• Are there any ways that I’m demanding my child go a certain route because it’s what pleases me most?
• If I am involved in coaching or leading these activities, am I making the activity too much about me?

For the teen years: 

• Am I pushing my child OR holding back my child because of my own emotional needs?
• Am I pushing them out of panic that they might not be doing as well as I wish?
• Or am I holding them back because “I’m not ready” for whatever is next in their life?
• Do I have an unhealthy emotional dependence on them?
• Am I expecting them to meet a relational need that should be met through a spouse or friend?

While I’m not to the grown years yet, all of these things pave the way for a healthy launch into independence and adulthood for our kids. Our children should feel the freedom to fly the coop and establish their own lives in adulthood without worrying about whether we’ll be okay without them.

Simply put: They cannot fly freely with the weight of our needs around their necks.

Friends, I’m working on this too. Let’s enjoy our children thoroughly without depending on them for our significance and security. For their good. And our own.

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

Intentional Mediocrity: A Homeschool Not To Do List ~
Written by Kari Patterson

“Anything worth doing is worth doing badly.” -GK Chesterton

Okay, this quote doesn’t top the charts of most-inspiring, but this idea has helped me immensely through the last 15 years of motherhood, homeschooling, and juggling the never-ending demands of ministry life.

Prefer to listen instead? Check out Episode 69 of the Simple Homeschool podcast!

Like you, I’ve been asked many times: “How do you do it all?”

And my answer is always: “I don’t.”

On those glass-is-half-empty days, when I’m discouraged and my perspective is skewed, I feel as though I don’t do anything well.

Dinner’s made, but it’s chicken and rice again. Laundry’s done, because I no longer fold. Kids finished school because I told Heidi to skip the Base 2 math problems (again). The house is tidied but the sliding glass door has so many smeared handprints I can barely see through it.

But eventually I remind myself of Chesterton’s wisdom and the power of intentional mediocrity.

Truth: We can’t be awesome everywhere.

I remember reading Michael Hyatt’s book Platform years ago, where he teaches the importance of exceeding customer’s expectations, of “baking in the Wow” to every aspect of your business. And I remember writing this realization in my journal that day:

“I can’t be awesome everywhere. I can’t ‘bake in the Wow’ in every area of life.”

Truth: Some things have to be neglected. 

Sadly, many people only “bake in the Wow” in the business world, or in the areas of life that are visible to others, but neglect the hidden places, the small people, or the health of their souls. We’re all in danger of mis-prioritizing which areas are worthy of Wow.

We’re wise to give it some consideration so we don’t drop the ball on what really matters.

Our task as parents and home-educators is to thoughtfully and intentionally choose where we will “bake in the Wow” (i.e. focus our attention) and where we will deliberately and confidently choose mediocrity.

If we don’t do this we’ll be enslaved to perfectionism, or convinced we must be failing since not everything is awesome.

One simple exercise that can help: A well-chosen Homeschool Not To Do list. 

Of course my priorities will likely be different from yours. There’s freedom, friends! But as a friend sharing with a friend, here’s a bit of what this looks like for me.

Creating a Homeschool Not To Do List

1. I don’t extra-clean before company comes over. I keep our house medium. Clean enough that you feel welcome (and aren’t grossed out!) but not so perfect that you’re impressed. My goal is to welcome, not impress.
2. I don’t fold laundry, except Jeff’s.
3. I don’t work out. Prayer walks alone, hikes with the kids, and house-cleaning have to suffice.
4. I don’t make elaborate meals. Simple and healthy, that’s it.
5. I don’t try to keep up with fashion, for myself or my house. I try to keep myself and home looking nice with tasteful choices, that’s it. (Side note: I switched to Stitch Fix for this very reason. No more shopping, ever!)
6. I don’t cook breakfast or lunch. I keep simple items on hand, and the kids can take care of this themselves.
7. I don’t worry a lot about school subjects outside the 3 R’s. Other subjects are electives.
8. I don’t watch TV or keep up on news and media much.

Hopefully, this Homeschool Not To Do list helps me focus more on what matters to me most:

1. I will listen to my children and others as much as I can, truly seeking to understand them as much as possible.
2. I will read, to myself and to my children, excellent books that draw my mind to beauty, courage, and truth.
3. I will sleep eight hours a night and observe a 24-hour restful day each week.
4. I will spend the extra time and money to create nutritious meals that strengthen our bodies and immune systems.
5. I will discipline and train my children to be a blessing to our family and others.
6. I will seek to love and serve the people in my immediate sphere — friends, neighbors, church family.
7. I will respond to immediate, pressing needs when I’m made aware of them.
8. I will follow the FlyLady and clean what she tells me to clean.

Every single one of the things on this latter list is really time-consuming. Listening and seeking to understand others is time-consuming. Taking time to sleep and rest is time-consuming. Cooking nutritious meals is time-consuming. But worth it. Why?

Because it’s also life-giving. 

Again, your list will look different from mine, but it can help to actually sit down and figure it out: Where do I want to be intentionally mediocre so I can give myself fully to “bake in the Wow” where it counts? 

Perhaps being present with others and listening to them doesn’t seem like a “Wow” thing to do, but you know what? In a world that’s hurting and divided and discouraged, isn’t that what most people, including our children, are longing for?

Let’s bake in the Wow where it matters most. 

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

Homeschooling in Survival Mode ~
Written by Kari Patterson

My dad passed away three weeks ago. I wrote about him in my day-in-the-life post, how we live next door and the little boys run over every day. We helped care for him these last two years after my mom passed away.

She had Parkinson’s; he had leukemia. It’s been an intense few years.

We miss him daily and life isn’t the same without him. But I’m also finding that I’m finally coming up for air in terms of my schedule, that life has a little more space now.

I’m very aware that we were Homeschooling in Survival Mode most of this winter.

A dear homeschooling friend just went through a crisis due to her husband’s addiction. He was in rehab for 30 days, while she was on her own with four kids — two homeschooling, one toddling around getting into everything, and one six months along in her womb.

Pregnancy exhaustion + nursing + a toddler + single-parenting + homeschooling = Survival Mode

She texted our group thread asking for advice, and the flood of helpful responses inspired me in my own Survival Mode status. These caring and wise women rallied to encourage and support her.

So if you find yourself barely army-crawling through the days, wondering how on earth to homeschool through the craziness of Survival Mode, here are a few thoughts from my tribe:

5 Tips for Homeschooling in Survival Mode

1. Build stability as much as possible.

When things feel chaotic, it’s hard to learn. When we’re afraid or stressed, our capacity for comprehending new concepts or tackling coursework is extremely limited.

So I tried to keep as many regular routines as possible. Some were impossible — my little boys could no longer do their daily trips to Papa’s. I had to be away a lot caring for him, and I couldn’t take them with me.

It was hard. But we kept our consistent bedtime routine, we kept our read aloud time, we did our fun little letter worksheets, we continued all of our normal outside-home activities.

I chose to not feel guilty for leaving Dad in others’ care sometimes because it was important to keep a sense of stability and normalcy even in the midst of chaos.

2. Prioritize, and keep the must-do list short.

This is probably obvious, but some subjects can clearly wait. Do you HAVE to finish that unit on the life-cycle of frogs? I remember a seasoned homeschool mama of 9 children saying, “Just keep up on math. You can easily catch up on everything else, just keep up on math.”

And in my dozen years of homeschooling, I’ve also found that’s true. In really crazy seasons, we’ve made math and reading the only must-dos.

Tadpoles can wait.

Now, full disclosure: Sometimes the subjects that suffer are important ones. Our oldest (17) was definitely the hardest hit by this season, and he got so far behind in Pre-Calculus and Spanish he was overwhelmed and depressed and we realized there was no way he could catch up. We made the difficult decision to let him drop those two classes.

He’ll have to retake them next year, but he’s SO much happier and relieved to not feel like he’s hopelessly drowning in coursework. It is painful to feel like you’ve failed, for sure, but I’m grateful we were able to walk through this experience with him, and he gained some priceless lessons.

In the end, those lessons may be more valuable than Pre-Calc anyway.

3. Allow others to help.

Sometimes all it takes is a season of struggle for you to really find your people. I have found that in my times of weakness I’m amazed at how willing other moms are to step up and step in to help me.

But we have to let them. The day that my dad died another homeschool mama offered to take my boys to an Easter Egg hunt. It felt weird to send them off, oblivious to my sorrow, to run around and collect candy.

But I had to attend to details and they had to be gone, and I was grateful for the support, and by the time they were back around I was ready to navigate the grief with them. There are countless ways that other homeschool moms helped me through this season. But we have to let them.

4. Let the kids help.

Kids can feel powerless when life is crazy and there’s nothing they can do. Intentionally enlisting their help, in ways that are appropriate, will increase their stability and security like nothing else. 

Our teenagers helped significantly during both my parents’ final months and weeks. At 17 Dutch has now been a pallbearer twice. Heidi daily cared for two grandparents as they neared death. These are heavy things, but also good.

I was so proud of them, and I could tell that they felt good about being able to serve and make a significant contribution during a time of need. They both also spoke at Dad’s memorial, a learning and growth experience to be sure! The littles couldn’t be involved in that way, but they could “help Mommy”  with chores because Mommy was helping Papa.

5. Hold them, love them, keep them close.

While we certainly need to allow others to help, I also knew that more than ever my kids needed my nearness. There were times I could have easily given over the job of driving someone here, or being at a certain event, etc. but as much as possible, I tried to stay as close as possible.

As you know, most of the priceless, precious conversations we have with our children happen when we least expect it. We can’t schedule “Deep Conversation about Death & Eternity” into iCal. We just have to be there.

And if we stay close, as much as possible, we’ll get to be part of the most valuable part of their education: The growth that happens as they learn through daily life. I don’t want to miss that.

So dear friends, if you are homeschooling in survival mode, hang in there!

Know that you have a community right here who can rally around you as well. Drop us a line if you have questions, or just want to share what you’re going through.

We’d love to encourage you if we can.

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

Kari’s Homeschool Day in the Life (with a 4-, 5-, 15-, and 17-year-old) ~
Written by Kari Patterson

This is my 11th day-in-the-life post for Simple Homeschool! As I look back at the early years, one thought fills my mind:

I don’t regret a bit of the homeschool journey with my Bigs; I just wish I’d enjoyed it more.

Now my Bigs are restlessly scurrying about this nest, readying their wings.

Well, one is restlessly scurrying, asking how soon she can fly, the other is asking if he can have just a little more time before launch. (smile) 

Turns out, at two-years-apart, they’ll graduate the same year: yet another reason I love homeschooling.

As they prepare to launch, I do as well: Launch back into homeschooling, with our Littles. So with our Littles and our Bigs, here’s a bit of what one of our days might look like:

Kari’s Homeschool Day in the Life (with a 3-, 5-, 15-, and 17-year-old)

No more early mornings.

When our Bigs were Littles, we were early to bed and early to rise. Now nights are when we connect with our teens, and I wouldn’t trade that time for the world.

So morning alarms are a thing of the past.

Now I awake to the pitter-patter of small feet on the hardwood floors. They slip under my covers to snuggle. Is it morning time, Mama? There are no clocks in our room, so I tell the littles to go to the kitchen and check the time.

If it starts with a 7 then we can get up.

“It’s a Seven-One-Eight!”

And so we begin. They help me make my bed, and we head off for coffee, breakfast, getting dressed, Bible reading and prayer, chores, all the things. Eventually Heidi (15) shuffles out, dreamily smiling.

“Hey Loenig.”

I can’t keep track of all the nicknames she has for me, but MoaLoa, Glernick, and Loenig surface most often. I hug her and hear about her sleep and any late-night conversations she may have had, since she outlasts me every evening. If Dutch (17) hasn’t surfaced by 8:30am I send the little boys up to his room. They love being his alarm. (smile)

Morning

On Mondays the Bigs and I leave the house at 8am to attend a once-a-week school for homeschool teens where I teach Literature & Composition, and my husband Jeff teaches PE. On Tuesdays Heidi has a 7am Algebra class, and weekends require early-ish departures due to theater rehearsals and church classes, but Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays we can begin at a leisurely pace.

At this point, Dutch and Heidi do all their school on their own. Although this is technically Dutch’s third year of high school and Heidi’s first year of high school, we are adjusting their paces to allow them both to graduate in 2026.

We recently enrolled them in a Diploma Program through a local Christian Academy. This means we have an academic counselor who oversees Dutch & Heidi’s homeschool curriculum and transcripts, and they’ll both receive an official diploma from this academy.

So far it’s been amazing. I highly recommend getting help of this kind for high school homeschooling! 

Dutch also took his SATs this year, which was a great way for him to gauge his strengths and begin to think about possible college/major options.

Mornings are when the Bigs have their online classes. Together they take six classes through HSLDA online academy, then several other classes taught by me or studied independently.

The Littles and I do chores, play, and sometimes a little bit of “school” because Justice (5) asks for it. We do Letter Lessons and lots of various printed-off worksheets. Or color. Or read the Dr. Seuss anthology, the Usborne Illustrated Classics for Children, or the Usborne Illustrated Stories from the Greek Myths. (afflinks)

Without fail, Ben (3) will request one from each: “The Grinch,” “The Canterville Ghost,” and “The Minotaur.”

Afternoon

After lunch, the Bigs continue on school and the Littles usually ask to visit Papa. My dad lives next door, and it’s awesome to have him close by! They slip on shoes and coats and head out the door.

I call after them, “Remember, be a blessing!”

Now, I’ll admit, winter can be rough. A lot of dark, cold, rainy days. A lot of littles cooped up inside with nothing to do but roughhouse and whine for screen-time.

And because each day’s a bit different, I never know exactly when (or if) I’ll have a moment to myself. Some days I don’t, and I teeter on feeling like I might go insane. But on the days I do, I seize it!

If the Littles are off and the Bigs don’t need me, I pull on my puffer jacket, slip in my headphones, and head for a walk. I live for walks!

Even if it’s raining or in the winter, the fresh air feels so good and the worship music floods my mind and I find myself praying and musing and musing and praying, and peace settles over my soul once again and in less than an hour I feel like I might be okay after all.

Evenings

Mondays Dutch & Heidi have vocal and theater classes, Tuesdays I have Bible Study, Wednesdays Dutch & Heidi have Bible study, Thursdays we spend together as a family, Fridays Dutch & Heidi have theater rehearsals, and weekends are when we connect with friends or have someone over for dinner.

In other seasons, Dutch runs Cross-Country or Track with our local high school, so that fills his evenings and Saturdays. Heidi does theater year-round.

The littles don’t nap, which means they can go to bed promptly at 7pm (we start bedtime routine by 6:30), which frees us up for evening time with teens (when they’re not away at activities).

Our favorite ways to connect are Conversation Cards (Hygge and Talking Point versions are our favorites), playing dominoes or Nertz, relaxing in the hot tub, or watching specially-chosen-by-Dutch The Office clips. Then we read one chapter of the Bible together (we just finished Psalms and are in Proverbs now), talk about it, and pray.

I’m no night owl, but our evenings with those Bigs are priceless. These days we laugh alot, at each other and at ourselves, and talk a lot about their futures, where they see themselves headed, possible careers, relationships, their hopes, and the details of their daily challenges.

I see it as the greatest privilege that both teens let us so deeply into their lives.

And then every night Jeff and I drop into bed exhausted and exhale, “We did it.” A few moments later one of us usually says: “We have great kids.”

Each day has its challenges, but we both are so incredibly grateful God entrusted us with these four.

Thanks so much for following along today!

My, how the days have changed:

• • 2023: Kari’s Homeschool Day in the Life (with a 2-, 4-, 13-, and 16-year-old)
  • 2022: Kari’s Homeschool Day in the Life (with a 1-, 3-, 13-, and 15-year-old)
  • 2021:  Kari’s homeschool day in the life (with a newborn, 2-, 11- and 14-year-old)
  • 2020: Kari’s homeschool day in the life (with a 1-, 10-, and 13-year-old)
  • 2019: Kari’s homeschool day in the life (with a 5-month, 9- and 12-year old)
  • 2018: Kari’s homeschool day in the life (with a 9-and 11-year-old)
  • 2017: Kari’s homeschool day in the life (with a 7- and 10-year-old)
  • 2016: Kari’s homeschool day in the life (with a 7- and 9-year-old)
  • 2015: Kari’s homeschool day in the life (with a 5- & 8-year-old)
  • 2014: Kari’s homeschool day in the life (with a 4- & 7-year-old)

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

I Want You to Learn; A letter to my child who has failed  ~
Written by Kari Patterson

My dear child,

You might be 3 or 5 or 14 or 17. The details will vary, but my posture toward you never will.

I know you feel it right now, that feeling we fear most, the feeling we avoid at all cost: failure.

Tears stream down my face for you because I know how much it hurts when it happens.

And it does. To everyone.

I’m sure it sounds empty right now, all the words about how “it’s part of growing up” and “everyone has to learn these lessons” and “blah blah blah blah.”

Right?

Nothing really eases the blow. Whether it’s math class or marriage, who of us wants failed as part of our story?

No one, of course.

Coldplay’s Fix You plays as we drive together, silent:

“When you try your best, but you don’t succeed …

And the tears come streamin’ down your face …

I promise you I will learn from my mistakes …”

I don’t mean to make this bigger than it is. I know we’re just talking school.

But my Love, I want you to take this feeling, this little taste of what failure feels like, and though it sounds cliche, I want you to learn.

I want you to learn that nothing could ever make me love you more, or less.

I want you to learn that you can always come to me with your tears, your shame, your guilt.

I want you to learn that there is Light that extends to the farthest reaches of any dark hole you ever find yourself in.

I want you to learn that everyone has felt this.

I want you to learn that you are never alone.

That God’s grace is bigger, bigger, bigger, bigger…

I want you to learn to courageously and humbly take responsibility for your part.

I want you to learn never to pass blame.

I want you to learn never to hide.

I want you to learn that everywhere there is failure, there is also forgiveness. 

I want you to learn that my love for you is deeper, wider, fuller than you could ever fathom. That I am so proud of you I can’t even pull together the words to express to you.

That I never dreamed I’d get to have a child as wonderful as you.

That your smile takes my breath away. That every bit of pain you’ve caused me is worth it a million times over. That I’d do it again a thousand times over.

That being your mom is the joy of my life.

Now, Child, get back out there. Try again, the story’s not over. I’m with you.

You’ve got this. 

Love,

Mom

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your type needs most!

Nothing to hide ~
Written by Kari Patterson

Do you ever wonder how your kids will describe their homeschool experience someday? 

I try not to dwell too much on it; we do our best and hope they’ll look back with fond memories and maybe even a bit of gratitude. But it does cross my mind now and then.

I recently sat with a group of women and, over the course of a few weeks, we took turns sharing our stories. We focused on things that have shaped us; childhood, school, significant experiences, etc. We had a mix of homeschool, private, and public education.

We had some from religious backgrounds and some not so much. Lots of variety. As I considered these stories, and compared them with countless others I’ve heard over the years, I was struck by one common theme:

Those who had the most overall positive childhood experience were those whose parents were the same in private or in public. 

Lots of religious activities didn’t matter much if home was a place of shame or fear. An excellent education wasn’t as important as that sense of stability that there isn’t a show going on, no one’s pretending.

We aren’t perfect, but there’s nothing to hide. 

We recently finished building a home out in the country, next door to my dad. It’s a sweet opportunity for multi-generational living while still having enough space that we don’t kill each other. (smile)

I love the privacy of living in the country. But on the other side of our house, we have, shall we say, quirky neighbors. They have a lot of cameras.

We know from experience that we’re watched and I’ve finally decided that’s fine.  I chose a full-glass front door. Except for the bedrooms, none of our windows have coverings.

Here we are, one of those crazy homeschool families.

Go ahead and watch. 

Sure, you’ll see a lot of sweatpants, and I’ll rarely have makeup on. You’ll occasionally see me very frustrated with my 5- and 2-year olds. You’ll see us sitting up late with our teens, talking around the fire-pit or asking hygge questions in the hot tub.

And even if someone was listening in, that’s great. Because it’s a good reminder that for the sake of my children, I want to live with nothing to hide.

It’s healthy to ask occasionally, “If this were all on film would I be okay with it?” If an outsider were watching would I act like this?”

Tears spring to my eyes when I remember some of the ways I treated our oldest son, Dutch, when he was young. Back then we didn’t know he had Asperger’s.

It was so hard and I got frustrated so often.

Now at almost 17-years old, he’s a delight. We have such a close relationship.

He knows his imperfect mom loves him dearly, and we’ve both grown over the years. I try to remember that now, as his little brothers push my buttons.

How will I respond?

This isn’t a call to perfection, hopefully that’s clear. It’s the heart of one mom who wants, more than anything, for her children to experience a healthy childhood. Where what you see is what you get.

Where stability, honesty, and integrity are words that might surface someday as they share their story. This matters so much more than which math curriculum we used.

Sure, they might still need therapy. (We probably all do!) It might be painful to hear the ways we fell short.

But oh, that they too would know the peace that comes from having nothing to hide. 

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your type needs most!