How decision fatigue is wearing down your homeschool
~ Written by Sarah Mackenzie of Read-Aloud Revival

It’s 11am. The twins are emptying the tea cupboard onto the floor, the 2 year-old is fussing, and I’m standing at the fridge, trying to decide what to make for lunch. Just then my 11 year-old walks into the room. “What should I be doing right now?”

As the volume of the din steadily rises, the 9 year-old whizzes past me, flinging his math book onto the kitchen counter and tossing a comment about making a break for the basement. Somebody pulls on my pant leg and I rub my head.

“Mom? What am I supposed to be do
ing?” She’s getting more persistent.

“I… don’t know,” I sigh, exasperated, “Just… we’ll figure it out later.”

Sound familiar? It’s a classic case of homeschooling mama decision fatigue, and I can predict it’s arrival in my house (and yours!) like clockwork every day of the week.

How decision fatigue is wearing down your homeschool

By now enough studies have proven that making decisions is exhausting, and as a homeschooling mom, you’re probably making a whole lot more of them than you realize.

My friend Pam came to this conclusion not too long ago. She was recently trying out my spiral notebook hack and said that as she sat and wrote out those checklists, she made about 20 different decisions that she hadn’t at all anticipated.

“These were 20 decisions that were now already made and did not have to be made in the heat of the moment while we were doing school,” she said.

Here’s why I think those spiral notebooks work so well: They force us to make decisions ahead of time, before we’re knee-deep in a busy homeschool day, thereby reducing our in-the-moment stress and frustration. We don’t have to decide every little detail in the throes of a hot moment because most of it has already been decided. [Exhale.]

So how does a homeschooling mom actually combat decision fatigue?

If we have a million decisions to make each day, how do we set ourselves up for success? I’m pretty sure I can’t avoid decision fatigue entirely, but here are a few ways I’m minimizing the number of decisions I make in the heat of a homeschool day.

1. Write out assignments the night before.

I’m currently doing this using simple spiral notebooks, and I can’t believe how much more productive we’ve been in our little homeschool since implementing them. I’ve come to realize a hard truth about myself: when the house is loud (and it is always is) and the day is long (and it often is), I tend to default to, “That’s enough for today. Class dismissed.”

It’s hard for me to be objective about what a reasonable amount of work is when I’m being bombarded with requests for crackers and help over a grammar lesson.

Writing out each child’s lessons the night before has made all the difference.

2. Make a schedule and (try to) stick with it for a set amount of time.

Choose a length of time to make your “term,” if that’s helpful, and then just be as consistent as you can be for its duration. You aren’t committing to a whole year or even a quarter- just try 4 or 6 weeks!

A schedule is just another way of narrowing choices, and narrowing choices reduces decision fatigue. Once your term is over, adjust your schedule as necessary- you’ve given it a fair shot by this point, and it very well may need a little mindful tweaking.

3. Put ideas into a queue.

To counteract my incredibly impulsive nature, I’ve started a discipline of recording ideas into a place I call “The Idea Shelf.”

Stop laughing, it’s a real thing. It’s just a sheet of paper in my notebook, really, but it’s a very, very important sheet of paper. Here’s how it works: Whenever I get the urge to change directions or toss one curriculum in favor of another, I write it down on my Idea Shelf page first.

I write the idea and the date it burst into my brain, and then I let it sit. If I wait a week before doing anything with it, I end up saving myself a lot of headaches (and often a lot of money, if my brilliant idea was buying something new!).

The things that really do need to change- that math curriculum that’s just not working, or the grammar book that is about to melt my 12 year old into a puddle of woe- are still a good idea a week later.

If it’s just some bright shiny curriculum I’ve seen from someone else (and must! try! right! away!), I may not feel so exuberant about it a week later and can cross it off entirely.

4. Encourage your kids to eat their frogs first thing.

There’s an old saying that if the first thing you do each morning is to eat a frog, it’s probably the worst thing you’ll do all day.

Basically, it tells us that tackling the most challenging task of the day can free up a lot of mental space and energy and help us get more done.

Your kids are at just as much risk for decision fatigue as you are. I tend to let my kids choose which order to tackle their daily assignments, but I encourage them to choose the hardest/most loathsome task first (math, anyone?).

It can be so freeing to know that your hardest task is already done for the day by 9 or 10 am, and you may find your kids making better (more cheerful) decisions if they get their frog swallowed bright and early.

What have you done to reduce decision fatigue in your homeschool?

* Click here for more of Sarah’s inspirational writing on SH.

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what you need most!

Waste Your Time ~
Written by Sarah Mackenzie of Read-Aloud Revival

I have something of an obsession with being productive and efficient. It’s a good trait when it comes to tackling my to-do list, but it’s a big problem when it comes to homeschooling my kids.

See, homeschooling is all about relationships, and relationships just aren’t efficient.

By definition, to be efficient is to achieve maximum productivity with minimum wasted effort or expense. But relationships don’t flourish or grow that way.

Relationships need time, spent lavishly. This can be a real struggle for those of us who homeschool.

We have so much to get to: the laundry, meal planning and preparation, housework, errands, running children hither and yon, making time and space for other daily efforts like exercise, our spouses, and our personal development.

We want to be good stewards of our time, but maybe that time is best spent carelessly when it comes to people.

My own bad habit is that I default toward efficiency. I want to squeeze everything possible out of every minute of my day — it’s probably a personality thing.

If I know the soup won’t be ready for 10 minutes, I try to squeeze in a reading lesson with one child while telling another to set the table. Dinner ready, table set, reading lesson done!

But there is no prize for the mama who checks the most boxes on her to-do list. Darn it anyway. (I would win!)

We’ve all heard of folks at the end of their lives, looking back and wishing they had spent more time with the people they loved. I’m not sure I’ve ever heard someone wish they had spent more time getting things done.

Let’s shrink that down to a smaller scale. How about at the end of the day?

When you sneak into your child’s bedroom to drop one more kiss on her cheek as she sleeps, will you wish you had gotten to a few more loads of laundry?

Decluttered one more closet? Run a few more errands?

Or will you wish you had stopped to stare into her eyes? To pull her onto your lap and talk about something she’s thinking about.

Will you wish you had wasted a perfectly good five minutes listening to her ramble on about what she found under a rock while she was playing outside?

These things take time. These things cannot be done efficiently. These days, that feel as though they’ll last forever, will in fact be gone soon.

What if, instead of trying to make the most of our time, we worked harder at wasting it?

What if we were more intentional about frivolously using it on something we can’t check off our list?

* Click here for more of Sarah’s inspirational writing.

What do you think? Are you ready to waste your time?

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

Sarah’s homeschool day in the life ~
Written by Sarah Mackenzie of Read-Aloud Revival

A note from Jamie: Did all of you out there homeschooling littles think I forgot about you? Never! Even though many of our contributing writers currently have older kids, I wanted to reshare a post from our day in the life archives that might help some of you in the trenches with littles.

Enjoy this snapshot from Sarah Mackenzie’s homeschool – did you know Sarah was a contributing writer on SH for three years? Find all her posts here.

*****

This year we’ve got quite the crew:

• 14-year-old (8th grade) girl
• 12-year-old (6th grade) girl
• 10-year-old (5th grade) boy
• 3-year-old girl
• 2-year-old twin tornado boys … or as I’ve seen referenced elsewhere: twinados

5:38 am

My two little identical alarms run into my bedroom and wake me up. I miss the days of rising before my crew and having just a few minutes to myself, but this is not the season for it. The twins keep me running hard and long most days, so I sleep until they wake me.

The 3-year-old is not usually too far behind them. They pile on the couch under blankets and we do the early-morning-snuggle routine before getting started with first breakfast.

7:00
It’s time to wake the big kids. They have breakfast, and the toddlers settle in for second  breakfast. Then I sneak off to shower while bigs entertain littles.

Big kids get ready for the day and do a morning job each (like emptying the dishwasher or taking out the trash), and I try to kinda-sorta tidy the kitchen in preparation for the day ahead.

Sarah’s homeschool day in the life (with twin 2-year-olds & a 3-, 10-, 12-, & 14-year old)

9:00
Time for school! I used to start our school day at 8. I’ve found my stress level has decreased significantly since I took the pressure off myself to start that early.

It seemed we could start 8 if (and only if) I was a drill sergeant, so now we start at 9 and I try not to bark orders.

We begin our day with morning time. In many ways, it’s the bread and butter of our school day. It’s where I immerse my kids in truth, goodness, and beauty. We all sit together to read literature, memorize scripture, and take a dip in the liberal arts – Shakespeare, composer study, picture study, or something of that nature.

This isn’t a picture from today, but lest you think our morning time is quiet, tame and orderly — well, I can’t have that. This is what morning time looks like at our house most days.

We read, memorize, and discuss, and the toddlers cause general ruckus and mayhem. Morning time is short, important, slightly stressful, and the best part of everyone’s day.

9:45

Twenty to thirty minutes later, we move into the next chunk of our day- something we call Morning Rotations.

Getting one-on-one time with each of my school-age kids can be tricky with so many toddlers mucking about. Morning rotations are how I make sure to get some good quality time with each child every day.

Each term, I choose a subject that my kids need focused 1-on-1 time for, and we do it during this time block (right now it’s writing for all three of my school-agers).

I simply take the child I’m working with into a separate room and we close the door. One of the remaining big kids is left to supervise and entertain the twins; the other reads and does preschooly things with the 3 year old. Every 30-45 minutes for the rest of the morning, we rotate.

One big kid works with me while the others watch the littles.

It’s a great system, if I do say so myself.

By noon, we’ve completed morning time and each big kid has had 30-45 minutes with me 1-on-1. #win!

12:00
Lunch. Then the big kids clean the kitchen, and I take the littles up for rest time. Naptime boycotts are in full force, so there’s not usually any real sleeping being done these days.

Regardless, the toddlers have to stay in their bedroom to play (and make a huge mess) to give the rest of us some peace to relax and read.

1:30
What happens now depends on which day it is. Most days, it’s time set aside for the big kids to work on their spiral notebooks.

The kids more or less do the work listed in their spiral notebooks on their own. These are co-op homework assignments and anything else they can do on their own, like practicing piano or typing, listening to their history audio book, or completing a notebooking page for science. 

Basically, if it’s not part of our morning time and we aren’t doing it during our 1-on-1 time, it gets listed in the spiral notebook.

Two days each week, our math tutor comes during this time and teaches the kids their new lessons.  

This has been a tremendous help as I am, quite frankly, not a great math teacher. He assigns their work for the rest of the week while he’s here.

On Tuesdays, friends come over to do a socratic-style history and humanities class. My brilliant friend Angela teaches this, and it is easily one of the best parts of our homeschool curriculum. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

(They’re having tea and conversation about the Boston Tea Party in this picture).

3:00-ish

Late afternoons afford the kids a bit of free time. They almost always spend it reading, though I do try to convince them that there are other worthy pursuits … like listening to audio books.

Actually, when the weather is nicer, I’ll often kick them outdoors, or load them all into the 12-passenger van and head to a nearby park. If it’s a day our friends come over for humanities class, we just hang out and play with them.

4:00

Around 4, it’s time to rally. The house is usually a disaster zone by now, so we start tackling it together, and then I pair toddlers up with big kids to play while I make dinner.

5:00
My husband comes home, and we eat early. Big kids have assigned after-dinner chores, my husband takes over the whole crew, and I head to my corner bedroom office to work.

I run a podcast and community for parents who want their kids to fall in love with books. It’s nearly a full-time job, and I do most of that work during evenings and weekends.

I’m always a bit giddy to get started.

I posted this picture last week on Instagram right after working for a couple of hours. You know what I’ve discovered this last year? That as an extrovert, working outside of my homeschool is a really, really important way to take care of myself and feed my joy- it gives me so much energy!

I used to feel guilty about that, but I’m learning not to.

On evenings like this one, I head upstairs until about 9 p.m. On the day I’m documenting this post, I spent my work time preparing talks for the four conferences I’m speaking at this year. Those’ll be here before I know it, and I want to be ready!

Usually when I’m working, I’m recording podcasts, creating master classes and resources, and working with my team to line up award-winning authors like David Macaulay and Avi for our membership families to meet at live online events.

That’s John Erickson of Hank the Cowdog fame at one of our Live Author Access events, answering the kids’ questions from the chatbox. How could I not love work like this?

It can be a real challenge to juggle the demands of a career with homeschooling, homemaking, and raising my passel of peeps, but I’ve found so much energy and joy in making it happen.

9:00
Before making some tea and grabbing a book, I’ll try to look over spiral notebooks one last time, draft the kids’ school lists for the next day, and then spend some time hanging out with Andy.

It’s very likely I’ll stay up too late.

And then it’s another day.

How the days have changed:

• 2015: Sarah’s homeschool day in the life (with twin 1-year-olds & a 2-, 9-, 11- and 13-year-old)

Do you do this too?

Do you overcomplicate your homeschooling life? I’m not really sure why I do it. Maybe it’s because I feel like I have so much on the line- I don’t want to mess up my children’s education!

Or maybe it’s because in the heat of the moment- when a child is melting down over a math lesson, the toddlers are all whining for a snack, and the dishwasher starts to overflow, it all does feel rather … complicated.

So I make color-coded homeschooling plans (that never actually pan out in real life) …

… I spend way too much time organizing and rearranging our schoolroom (when most of our day could be happily tackled from the couch or dining room table) …

… and I develop a huge list of books and ideas, because my son mentioned to me (in passing) that he’d like to learn more about the Civil War.

Next thing you know, I’ve got fourteen internet browser tabs open and I’m filling up my library hold queue like a madwoman with Civil War books from every library branch in town.

Slow the train, sister.

In general, homeschooling doesn’t need to be as complicated as I make it out to be.

In large portion, homeschooling well is about showing up each day, showering my kids with love and attention, and helping them take the next step as they learn and encounter new skills and ideas.

One of those areas a lot of us overcomplicate is introducing our kids to Shakespeare.

It seems like a subject that should be taught by someone who knows what she’s talking about, right? At least someone who has read a lot of his plays? Someone who knows that the Globe is not just a sphere of the earth, sitting on our schoolroom bookshelf?

Eh.

Helping your kids fall in love with Shakespeare doesn’t need to be difficult, complicated, or intimidating.

I’m here to tell you–getting your kids hooked on Shakespeare is way easier than you think it is, even if you’ve never read his work yourself. In fact, you don’t need to know much of anything to get started.

Three Simple Steps to Getting Started with Shakespeare

Here’s a simple method to getting your family on a roll:

1. Choose a Shakespeare comedy to start with.

A Midsummer Night’s Dream is a perfect place to begin, but your children will also enjoy Twelfth Night, As You like It, and Much Ado About Nothing.

If your kids are older and want more of an adventure story with swords and big emotions, you could try a tragedy like Romeo and Juliet or Macbeth.

2. Find some good retellings of the Shakespeare play, and read those with your kids.

You’ll find my top recommendations in this brand new FREE guide, A Beginner’s Guide to Getting Started with Shakespeare.

Narrative retellings help you get a sense of the characters, setting, and the main plotline before you tackle the original language in Shakespeare’s plays.

Also: you’ll laugh a lot (if you start with a comedy, that is), which is a bonus.

3. Try your hand at memorizing a few lines with your kids.

Use Ken Ludwig’s book, How to Teach Your Children Shakespeare, to get started with memorizing. It sounds difficult, but trust me: it doesn’t get easier (or more delightful!) than this.

I’ve heard 3 year-olds recite long passages of the Bard after hearing older siblings work through the first chapter of this book.

You’ll find Mr. Ludwig’s suggestions for how to use this book in your homeschool on page 3 of the free guide I mentioned earlier, The Beginner’s Guide to Getting Started with Shakespeare.

I bet you’ll be surprised at how captivated your whole family becomes with the story lines in retellings of Shakespeare’s work. You never know— your kids might beg you to read aloud for a *little* bit longer so they can find out what Nick Bottom is going to do next, or how on earth the romantic foibles in As You Like It will turn out.

You just may fall in love with Shakespeare yourself!

Tell us in comments— have you tried teaching Shakespeare to your kids before?

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

Sometimes I’m discouraged at how few books our family can enjoy reading aloud over a school year. I pretty much always wish I could read more with my kids. I know it’s good for them. I know it’s good for me. I know it’s one of the most powerful ways to connect with my children and buy steroids to bond them to one another.

I know that hearing accurate, beautiful, and sophisticated language patterns is the best way to help my children learn to read, to think, and to write.

But still. I struggle.

Can you relate? Maybe it’s taking you forever to get through your current read-aloud. Maybe you’re struggling to drum up the oomph to make reading aloud a habit. Or maybe you’re just having a hard time getting back into the groove of reading aloud after a bit of a hiatus.

I’ve been in all of those situations, and trust me- I can relate. I want to read aloud, I even LIKE reading aloud, so why the heck do I ever struggle with reading aloud?

And why do you?

REASON #1 You’re not enjoying the book.

Fake-it-till-you-make-it does not work when reading with your children; they can see right through it.

It’s a good idea to read aloud from books you yourself enjoy, because that enthusiasm and delight you feel will be passed right along to your kids. They’ll soak it up and revel in it, even if neither of you realize how important your own enthusiasm actually is.

When you don’t enjoy the book, you’re less likely to get to it every day.

If you’re all reading a gripping book together (like On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness by Andrew Peterson, for example), there’s no way your kids are going to let you get away with 2 or 3 days of not reading aloud. They’ll beg you for it.

And if you enjoy the book yourself? You’ll be happy to ignore the dishes and climb onto the couch to dive into the story instead. #askmehowiknow

What to do if this is you:

Ditch the book.

If you are just not enjoying your family read-aloud, there will be very little gain from pressing forward.

If no one is enjoying the book, quit reading it completely. If your kids are enjoying it but you aren’t, then buy or borrow the audio book and let them listen  while you tend to the million other things on your to-do list.

During read-aloud time, choose something that lights you up.

How to make sure it doesn’t happen again:

Use a trusted booklist– here’s one that’s packed with books particularly well-suited to be read aloud. A good solid booklist can ensure that the situation of not liking a book doesn’t happen very often (if at all).

REASON #2

You don’t have read-aloud time built into the day.

You know how you pretty much never forget to brush your teeth before going to bed? And you never forget to start the coffee in the morning? That’s because they’re habits. Same with breakfast. And putting in your contacts. You just do them because that’s what you do at that time of day, every day.

Reading aloud is no different, and you’ll do yourself a giant favor by making it happen at a regular time each day. This can be tricky at the start, but once you get in the habit, you’ll notice that picking up the book and getting started won’t take so much effort or gumption.

And anyway, you’ll be reading aloud a book you all enjoy, so your kids are bound to remind you!

What to do if this is you:

Choose a peg in your day to hang read-alouds on. A peg is just something that happens every day in your home anyway, no matter what.

Do you eat breakfast every day? Lunch?  Those are pegs. Slap a 15-minute reading session onto one of those mealtimes and I bet you’ll be shocked at how much progress you make on your books, and how many happy read-aloud memories you make over time.

How to make sure it doesn’t happen again:

Well, seasons and family schedules change, and you probably will find yourself in this situation again.

When you notice that you haven’t been fitting in read-aloud time at a regular time, re-assess. Be creative about how and when to fit in read-aloud time that works with your current season in life.

REASON #3 You don’t know what to choose.

Picking a book feels like such a commitment, you know? It takes a long time to read a book aloud! Even a short chapter book like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is going to take somewhere between 3-4 hours to read.

When my family comes to the end of a book, I will experience two things- one, a thrill that we get to start a new book (because I love starting new things!) and two, a bit of anxiety about which one to choose next.

Over at the Read-Aloud Revival, we’ve been paying really close attention to what makes for a good read-aloud and which books the fabulous families in our community are enjoying best… and we’ve collected them all in one place.

It’s our brand new (and FREE) RAR Booklist. Every single book on it has been selected because of it’s read-aloud-ability (it’s a word, I’m sure of it).

What to do if this is you:

Download the booklist.

How to make sure it doesn’t happen again:

Refer back to the booklist!! (See, this one’s easy).

You don’t have to tweak your entire school day to make reading aloud something that happens frequently in your home. You don’t have to create a plan or make a resolution to enjoy lots of books with your kids.

You just need to figure out what’s holding you back, remove that obstacle, and then spend your time doing the thing you’ll be so glad you did twenty years from now.

Read aloud to those kids. They’ll adore you for it.

Tell us in the comments- which obstacle do you find yourself most often getting hung up on?

I hear it all the time. I bet you do, too.

“I’m homeschooling because…

…I’m afraid the culture will destroy my kids.
…I want my kids to stay Christian.
…I don’t want them to be exposed to bad language or ideas or influences.”

These statements all share one thing in common- they’re based on fear, grounded in an overwhelming anxiety that unless we homeschool our kids, things will not end the way we want them to.

It’s a fear that we aren’t in control, and that things might not turn out as we planned.

Well.

Here’s an idea worth considering: homeschooling doesn’t guarantee that our kids will come out any particular way. It doesn’t ensure that they’ll embrace our religious beliefs, get into a good college, or make life choices we’ll be proud of.

Our kids are not ingredients in a recipe. Just because we prepare them in a particular way doesn’t mean that they’ll come out how we hope. In fact, I know plenty of loving, hard-working homeschooling parents whose kids live lives running a gamut of mistakes and missteps.

Kids are human, and humanity is messy.

If we’ve convinced ourselves that homeschooling ensures they’ll come out juuuuuust the way we want them to, we’ve taken on an impossible task.

See, our success is not bound up in results. We aren’t actually in control, no matter how much we like to pretend we are (and oh, how I do!).

To be certain, as our kids grow, we have a profound impact in shaping and forming them- we read to them, talk to them, and guide them along the way.

And then they make choices of their own.

Homeschooling very well may be the thing that helps my child’s life head in the right direction. Or it may not.

There’s no real way way to know, and as long as my own value, self-worth, and success story is bound up in whether or not they do, I’m forgetting who I am and what my work is in this world.

Let’s consider a garden. If I know that I want to grow tomatoes, then these are my tasks:

• prepare the soil
• plant the seeds
• water, weed, and thin as needed

I’ll give that garden my loving attention and whole lot of time. And then I’ll wait. I cannot force the tomatoes to grow, after all. And there is, of course, the possibility that tomatoes will never come, or that when they do, they’ll be mealy or infected.

Homeschooling makes no guarantees.

What might it look like if, instead of doing it out of fear and anxiety, we homeschooled out of a deep sense of unshakable peace and rest?

What if we had the confidence and courage to know that homeschooling is worth our time and effort- not because we’ll get certain results- but because loving and teaching our kids as they are, where they are, is always worth our time and effort?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, and I think this what it might look like for me:

1.We’d relax and enjoy each other more.

If I was more concerned with the process than the product— if my heart was set on tending my garden rather than forcing it to bear fruit— that would give us the freedom to lay out under a starry night, get lost for an entire morning in a good book, delight in the chance to spend an afternoon at a farmer’s market or the local library.

It would give me the ability to smile more and worry less.

2. We’d read and talk more.

I’d be less stressed about having physical proof that learning has happened, and that would free us up to read wonderful books and have casual, chatty conversations about them.

I’d have a good set of questions by my side to help along the way, but the act of reading and discussing wouldn’t be practiced for the sake of keeping track and ticking off checklists.

3.  I’d feel the need to demonstrate my own interests and passions.

Because I know that each of my kids needs to uncover the creative work that he is made to do for himself, I would feel more responsibility to do my own creative work in his presence.

Not in a didactic, teaching way, but in an organic, casual, I’m on fire for this so I can’t keep it to myself kind of way.

4. I’d focus on what matters most.

I would feel less of a pressing need to cram a certain body of knowledge into each of my kids, and so I’d feel less angst over making sure there are no gaps or missed subjects in the curriculum.

I’d have the freedom to go all in where it matters most. I’d listen to some of my favorite mentors tell me what those are, and then I’d give myself permission to let a lot of the rest slide.

Overall, I’d be free to enjoy my kids as the independent, made-in-the-image-of-God humans they are. I’d delight in their presence, laugh at their antics, roll my eyes at their craziness.

I’d shed the need to make sure they turn out just so, and focus instead on loving and teaching them as they are.

I’d remember that packet of seeds. I’d remember my place.

I would be free.

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

As if I hadn’t procrastinated starting our homeschool year until the latest possible moment anyway… we had a doozy of a first day back this year.

It’s almost like the new school year set out to mock me right from the get-go. It’s a year I’ve entered into with much trepidation (in an nutshell: an eighth grader, sixth grader, fifth grader, potty-training 3-year old, twin two-year olds… and a partridge in a pear tree).

It was 8:30am on our first day of the new year. I was pulling the twins out of the dishwasher, scolding a child for a sassy attitude, and barking orders at my kids to finish their chores and get to the table- STAT- so we could get going with our day.

(Right, so… it was not my best parenting moment. Ahem.)

Then I heard him yell.

He doesn’t usually yell- and certainly not like that, so it caught me off guard. I high-tailed it up to my bedroom to find my husband on the floor, stiff as a board, face contorted in pain.

“I…. can’t….. I can’t….. move,” he said between strained breaths, “…at all.”

And things more or less unravelled from there. My husband spent the rest of the morning on the floor and the entire afternoon at the ER.

He’s better now, thankfully, but as for my vision for our homeschool on the first day back? 

Pfffffffft.

It isn’t the first time I’ve had a homeschooling day fall apart on me, of course. We’ve had lots of crummy days over the years, but something about this being the FIRST day back for the year? It seemed symbolic.

I really, really hoped this wasn’t a sign of things to come.

So far, it hasn’t been. Our last little string of homeschooling days have gone rather well, actually. But I know another hard day is right around the corner. I know it because I’ve been at this long enough to know that they aren’t rare.

Hard days are both reliable and unpredictable, which makes them unbelievably maddening.

So what is a harried homeschooling mama to do when the day starts to fall apart?

If we know these kinds of days are going to barge in and unsettle our best-laid plans, is there anything we can do to temper them when we seem them coming? To save a homeschooling day before it goes completely and utterly to pot?

I’ve asked a whole lot of experienced homeschooling moms that very question over the years, and for the most part, they all say a variation of the same thing:

When the waters get rough, focus on what matters most, and just do that.

Just do more of the best things in your homeschool while simultaneously decreasing (or eliminating) the busywork and fluff.

Well doesn’t that just sound splendid.

I can practically hear you through the screen: Ummmm….. Sarah? I don’t need trite advice. I need to know what the best time and energy investments in my homeschool actually are!

Well.

I know.

If you’re anything like me, on some of your worst days, you’ve wished you could ask your favorite homeschooling experts what exactly they mean by “what matters most.”

You wish you could call up Andrew Pudewa, Susan Wise Bauer, Andrew Kern, Sonja Shafer, Julie Bogart, or Rea Berg, and beg them to tell you just ONE thing to help you get clear on what’s most important— to give you just one little nugget that would help you simplify your homeschool day.

So. I asked them for you.

(I asked some of my other favorites, too.)

I collected all of their answers into this handy little free download for you, so you could print it out and put it in your notebook. You can look at it every day and know that you aren’t crazy, you aren’t failing, and you don’t need to overcomplicate this homeschooling gig.

You just need to focus on what matters most. And while each of these experts say that, they also tell you what they think those bare essentials are. They tell you what, as far as they can see, matters most.

Go ahead, download it real quick. I’ll wait.

Because in order to be a peaceful homeschooling mom- one who has razor sharp focus on what matters most in her own family’s homeschool- your actual day (even your worst one!) needs to be in alignment with your deeply held values. That’s going to look a little different for each of us, but the important thing to remember is this:

You are enough. You, with all your flaws, shortcomings, worries and doubts. You’ve got everything you need to be the kind of homeschooling mama you were meant to be.

So am I.

So I’m thinking we should spend a wee bit of time here at the beginning of the school year getting crystal clear on what we’re going to do when the day starts to unravel.

And we should remember that if you don’t check all the boxes on those pretty lesson plans… if we can’t manage to make our real homeschool look remotely as delightful and lovely as it does inside our head…

It will be okay.

We can do this.

Focus on what matters most… and just do that.

What would you say matters most in your homeschool?

We’re tiptoeing to the end of summer, and if you’re anything like me, you’re looking over your plans for the school year, making sure you’ve dotted your i’s, crossed your t’s, that you’ve stocked up on 10 cent notebooks and colorful pens.

And maybe… juuuuust maybe… you’re sneaking a few extra things into the curriculum.

After all, you want this to be the BEST homeschool year ever, right?

Me too. But I’ve been down this new-year-of-homeschooling road a few times, and I want to tell you the secret for setting out for a new school year with mindful intention that has the staying power to carry us through the year– that will get us through that November slump and even the February burnout that threatens us year after year.

::

My husband enjoys backpacking in the wilderness. The first few times he went, he packed up his backpack like any other ordinary hiker and set out for his weekend with everything he thought he might want or need for his journey.

He had made a list, gathered up supplies, and laid them upon the dining room table to make sure he had everything he needed before packing them into his backpack. Once loaded, the pack would easily weigh 60 pounds or more.

He knew it would be heavy, but it was the beginning of the trail and enthusiasm was running high, so he’d foist the pack onto his back and set out.

Here’s the thing- a mile in, that pack didn’t feel like it was 60 pounds anymore. The straps would dig into his shoulders, and he would slow to a creeping pace. Struggling to enjoy himself, he often wanted to quit.

Sometimes he chucked nonessentials into the fire the night before packing back up to leave camp- after all, every ounce matters when the blisters on your feet are aching and your shoulders are sore.

That way of backpacking didn’t last long. He would dread trips, knowing that he’d be miserable halfway down the trail.

Instead, now he does something called ultralight backpacking. The difference? Only what is absolutely essential goes into the pack.

Every ounce is carefully considered, meticulously measured. No extra water (water can be filtered from sources along the trail), or snacks. Calculations are made beforehand so the hiker knows exactly what he will need.

Some ultralight backpackers go so far as to cut their plastic toothbrushes in half. That small bit of plastic weighs almost nothing, but every ounce matters. Ounces add up to pounds, and pounds add to up to misery on the journey.

If a hiker wants to enjoy the journey itself, get to his destination, and do more than sprawl flat on his back, panting for breath and feeling like he can’t take another step, he simply can’t bring any extra weight.

Well, I don’t know about you, but that looks an awful lot like the way I plan my homeschool.

I set out for a new year with enthusiasm and exuberance and a curriculum packed to the gills with every good thing I want to get to during the year.

Then November rolls around, and I’m flat on my back, panting for breath and feeling like I can’t take another step. I’m calling the local school asking about enrollment, I’m turning on Bill Nye and calling it science class, I’m longing for something different– any other way of living that would feel less exhausting, more sustainable.

Perhaps the biggest mistake homeschooling moms make as a whole is overcomplicating things.

After all, curriculum is not something you buy. It is far too robust to be purchased online or checked off on a set of lesson plans. It is a set of encounters that form the soul and shape the intellect.

It’s a stack of books. Hours of reading. Poetry. Long walks outside. Bike rides. Spelling words. Visits to the orchards. Sitting for hours with toddlers on laps, flipping through picture books, singing silly rhymes.

Algebra problems. Library visits. Outings. Winter evenings spent huddled around a board game or listening to a story. Phonics. Handwork. A five paragraph essay. Baking soda and vinegar volcanoes.

Mapwork. Drawing. Music. Conversations about everything under the sun. A garden. A grammar page. A memorized fact. A meal eaten with grandparents. A camping trip in August.

So how do you head into a new school year with an ultralight backpack? How do you make sure your essentials are in tow and that you aren’t needlessly weighing yourself down with burden that will drag you down mid-year?

I can’t really answer that for you. In our homeschool, there are a few things that are non-negotiable: math, the arts of language, reading (and lots of it).

Beyond that, I’m trying not to load too much into my pack. I know that if we keep our load light, we’ll have the time and energy to be wide awake to the beautiful things happening all around us as the days follow one another right into winter and on into spring.

The secret to teaching from rest, to setting out on a new homeschool year with a plan that you can sustain throughout the year is this: pack light.

Live your life, relish ideas, wrestle. Remember, think, and converse. A curriculum like that is full and robust, and yet at the very same time, it is simple. Its simplicity lies in knowing that we have chosen the better parts, the key ingredients that will have the greatest impact on our students’ lives.

::

This post is a selection from Sarah’s newly released book: Teaching from Rest: A Homeschooler’s Guide to Unshakable Peace, published by Classical Academic Press.

Today five lucky readers will win a copy of Teaching from Rest and the corresponding Audio Companion, including four hours of audio conversations about restful teaching and learning with Andrew Kern, Christopher Perrin, Cindy Rollins, and Brandy Vencel–and a printable Teaching from Rest Companion Journal!

How to Win

This giveaway has ended; thanks for your interest!

To be entered for a chance to win, leave a comment on this post answering the question: If you were packing an ultralight homeschool backpack, what would be your absolute essentials?

(If you’re reading this via email or reader, you must click here to leave your comment on this post at Simple Homeschool. Comments or emails left elsewhere don’t count as entries.)

Note: This giveaway is open to U.S. readers only. So sorry, international readers!

For an extra entry, share about this giveaway on Facebook. Then leave another comment here letting me know you’ve done so!

Teaching from Rest: A Homeschooler’s Guide to Unshakable Peace is available from Classical Academic Press and on Amazon. You can get the Companion materials exclusively at Classical Academic Press.

A note from Jamie: I’ve found so much encouragement from Sarah’s writing in Teaching from Rest and highly recommend it for your shelves! As I wrote in my endorsement: “In Teaching from Rest, Sarah beautifully reminds us that we will never be able to give our children the perfect education. Instead of crumbling under the weight of our attempts to do so, we can let the burdens fall off our tired backs.”

The book went to second printing before it even released and the second print run is going fast. Order yours to make sure you’re first in line when it comes off the presses in a couple of weeks!

This giveaway has ended and the winners are: Tashena, Devon Ham, Heather Hollander, Cassey Golden, and Denise–congratulations!

Written by Sarah Mackenzie of Amongst Lovely Things

No one likes to be outnumbered. If you’re in a soccer match and the other team has more players on the field than you, it feels like defeat before you begin.

I don’t just have more children than I do hands- I have more children than I do appendages. Juggling three kids under three while trying to teach my older three (13, 11, 9) was my biggest struggle last year, and it was a doozy, if I do say so myself.

And I do.

Being outnumbered is daunting enough. But to have three toddlers? All at once? That’s a madhouse even if you aren’t trying to teach the oldest pre-algebra and cover the details and implications of The Louisiana Purchase at the same time.

My friend Trina recently said that the difference between surviving and thriving is the simple act of savoring… there is always something sweet worth leaning into. And I think she’s right.

The temptation I faced all year long was to default to survival mode. “It’s really hard,” I would tell myself, “but it’s only for a season. Soon it will be over, and we’ll have calmer days. We’ll be able to get to that history project or read that book together or do more than merely hang on for the ride each day.”

But there’s no savoring in a statement like that. And anyway, I don’t have any grace for tomorrow- for that “someday” when I don’t have toddlers underfoot anymore.

I don’t have grace for it because it’s not my reality.

This. Now.

These toddlers, emptying the kitchen cupboards onto the floor, again. Pulling books off shelves with wild abandon. Filling their diggers with scoopfuls of dirt in the backyard and unloading them into little piles on my kitchen table. Again.

And lest you think my toddlers are the only hard ones, my school-age children picture-perfect, let me disabuse you from that way of thinking. She’s crying over her math lesson. He’s not even trying to name those notes correctly in his piano book. There’s complaining. Bickering. Eye rolling.

Here. Now.

This is what I have grace for. This moment, where I am pulled in too many different directions and I’m unsure of how to proceed, this is what I can turn into a thriving moment by simply learning to savor it.

This past school year, I’ve simplified to such bare bones that on numerous occasions, I’ve had to stop and really consider if home was still the best place for my kids to learn.

There was a lot of doubt. A lot of overwhelm. I cried. It was all probably exacerbated because I’d just written a whole book on teaching from rest and unshakable peace.

I got to live that book in a refining-fire kind of way, and it was hard.

My homeschool does not look like yours. It is quite likely far less impressive than your own. Last year, we didn’t do any riveting hands-on projects or super exciting trips. We read aloud together, but not nearly as much as I would have liked. We made some progress in math, though not nearly as much as I hoped.

Frankly, there is nothing out of the ordinary or wildly impressive about doing the daily things. Math problems, listening to the history audio book, capitalizing proper nouns, hashing out a spelling list.

I’m finding that the hardest part of homeschooling with toddlers and babies underfoot is that the vision that lived in my head since I first dreamed up this crazy idea to homeschool looks nothing like my reality.

There aren’t really that many field trips. I don’t feel like my kids have hours upon hours to pursue their passions. Much of our day is doing the next math problem, writing the next spelling word, putting away the laundry, sweeping the entryway floor.

It’s daily and ordinary and not the spectacular, passionate kind of lifestyle that I once dreamed it to be.

But I’m okay with that. Finally. Maybe?

I’m still working on being okay with that.

Because I have grace for this life, this reality, not the one I fancy. The savoring happens in the now.

What has helped me to savor, amidst the daily chaos:

• Simplifying the schedule
  Because it doesn’t really matter if we have the most beautiful, carefully thought-out plan if there aren’t enough hours in the day to get to it.

• Simplifying the curriculum
  It boils down to stepping off the crazy train, rethinking the model we are operating under, and intentionally setting out to participate in slow, sane education.

• Using spiral notebooks to simplify homeschooling
  The best homeschool hack I’ve ever stumbled across cost me 10 cents and 10 minutes. And then it saved my homeschool.

It may not be the wildly elaborate and inspired set of homeschooling plans, the most beautiful vision I had dreamed up. But it’s our reality. It’s our life, our education, and it’s what we have to savor today.

Next year, I very likely will be up against the same challenges. Rather than chasing after 1- and 2- year olds, I’ll be chasing 2- and 3. Based on the last month’s happenings, I’m not thinking that’s going to be a mite easier.

But I’ll make things as simple as possible. I’ll let my kids lose themselves in books to round out the edges and fill in the gaps.

And I’ll trust that He’s got this, even when I’m not enough, even when I mess up, and even when the day spins off its tracks and looks nothing like I wanted it to.

Because He does. Because I’m not. Because I will. And it will too.

And that’s worth savoring.

Babies and toddlers — whew! How are you savoring these messy, crazy days?

This post is part of our Hardest Part of my Homeschool Year series.

Written by Sarah Mackenzie of Amongst Lovely Things.

I have a bad habit of thinking that summer is time lost. You know what I’m talking about, right?

It seems that every time we take a couple of months off of school completely, when we finally get back to hitting the books in September, each and every one of my kids has forgotten details like how to write a complete sentence or that 2+2=4.

It’s maddening.

After all, we pour so much into our teaching during the year! If we take the summer off and lose ground— well, that’s time lost, isn’t it?

But on a recent Quiddity podcast, Cindy Rollins (mother of nine now-graduated homeschooled kids and someone I look up to very much) convinced me that summer break is not time lost, even if it looks entirely unproductive.

Summer break is time gained.

“Any time we take special care to grow as a person is going to spill over into your next school year,” Cindy said. And then she went on to encourage homeschooling moms to read a lot, and to carve out time for full-stop breaks from homeschooling in the summer.

We’ve moved to a year-round model of schooling in our home. These last few years, we’ve had a whole lot of new-baby-and-toddler action going on, so I’ve come to rely on summer to catch up and do the things we didn’t find time for during the school year.

But if we want to be peaceful, restful homeschooling moms who come to the table with full energy stores in September, perhaps we ought to see our summer as time set aside for something different.

Not time lost. Not time-to-catch-up. But time gained.

After that chat with Cindy, I got to thinking about how I could make my summer really count– how I could use it as time gained to help me be the kind of nourished, rested, intentional mama I really want to be.

Read

Books read in the summer have a different kind of impact on me than books I read at other times of year. I have no scientific proof to back that up, but I’m certain it’s true.

If you, like me, are out of the reading habit, perhaps choose just one book- an easy read- and see what happens. When I’ve lost my reading groove, I find the best way out is just one easy book at a time.

A good book will give me the impetus I need to pick up another, and another. Need good recommendations? You can’t get much better than the Summer Reading Guide at Modern Mrs. Darcy.

Rest

Even those of us who school year-round can put a full stop on structured learning for at least pockets of time. So many of our best connections are made when we aren’t doing the active work of learning.

Downtime spent at the lake, hiking a trail, napping under a tree, kicking dirt mindlessly in the backyard— that’s when the pot simmers, so to speak.

It doesn’t have to be the whole summer- it doesn’t even have to be a whole month, but making a point to set aside time to be, and to let our kids be, may very well go a long way.

After all, we’re people. Humans. And we need time to let that humanity flourish and grow and be without the pressures of checklists and academic goals.

Refresh

My favorite way to refresh is to take a long walk with a good podcast going. I come back inspired, rejuvenated, and ready to take on my life with a little more oomph.

Just a few great podcasts to get you started (there are lots of other great ones, too!):

• Inspired to Action
• Homeschool Snapshots
• The Art of Simple
• Life, Listened Podcast Network 
• Read-Aloud Revival– I admit I’m a bit partial to this one

What refreshes you? Maybe you need to take a walk in complete silence, an hour in a coffee shop every week, or a Jane Austen novel and an iced tea lemonade.

Don’t think of it as me-time. Think of it as pouring into yourself so that you can better pour into your family.

Relish

I don’t know about you, but even though I try not to, I tend to see my kids as projects. I’m trying to raise virtuous humans, and in my zeal, I tend to get a little… shall we say… hyper-focused.

I spend more time with my children than anyone else on the planet, so I know the little nuances of their facial expressions, what sets them off, what makes them happy, and where they need most to grow.

And then, because I’m their mother and I feel the need to set them up for life success in every way possible, I set out to fix their weaknesses.

But children aren’t projects.

I find that every so often, I need to remind myself of this truth. I need to just look at them. Just stare into their faces. Cup their cheeks in my hands and… relish.

Quirks and all, my children are, in fact, delightful human beings- crammed full of love, energy, big ideas, and indomitable spirit.

When I can’t manage to remember that, it’s time to pull out the board games, roast marshmallows over a crackling fire, hop in the car to take a spontaneous day trip, or spread out a huge blanket in the backyard and eat cookies for dinner and read a happy stack of picture books.

I’m taking Cindy’s advice seriously–making sure that even if we do have plans to pursue certain areas of study this summer, we also have full-stops planned in there too.

Time to read for long luxurious stretches. Time to rest and let things simmer. Time to refresh and refill our energy stores. And time to relish in the company of our kids.

What about you? How are you planning to use your summer as time gained?