A few weeks ago an issue with one of my children kept me up late into the night. You know, one of those little things that you can’t quite figure out.

After pondering, praying, and a bit of crying, I eventually reached out to a friend and homeschooling mentor.

In just a sentence or two I outlined the problem and asked if she had any advice. And in one sentence she solved it for me:

“What’s your child’s love language?” 

Hmmmm. Love languages? I had that filed back in my brain somewhere as it relates to marriage, but I had never paid it much attention when it comes to my children.

Would you rather listen to this post?

And after some research into my child’s love language and a little attention in that area, this so-called “issue” pretty much vanished. Vanished, I tell you!

So what is a love language and how can I determine my child’s?

Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell articulated the five love languages years ago. They write: “Every child (like every adult) expresses and receives love best through one of five communication styles.”

We want to express unconditional love in each of these ways, of course.

But just like each child has a different personality, they also have a unique love language. Figuring it out can make a huge difference in the health of your homeschool.

I found this online quiz (recommended for ages 9+) invaluable to figuring out my kids’ love language preference–Trishna, Jonathan, and Elijah enjoyed it, too!

Here is an overview of the 5 love languages of children and ways we can apply them to our homeschool lives.

The 5 love languages of homeschooling

Physical Touch

A child who best receives love through physical touch desperately needs hugs, kisses, and pats on the shoulder. Not having enough can leave them feeling that they’ve done something wrong and that you are not pleased with them.

Ideas for homeschooling and teaching this child:

• let them sit on your lap for lessons or stories
• give them a back massage break for five minutes if they reach a challenge in their work
• for older kids or teens, give high fives and pats on the shoulder
• make sure to reconnect with physical touch after disciplining or difficult moments
• sit close while watching television or a movie
• roughhouse (tickles, wrestling, chasing) with littles who enjoy it

Words of Affirmation

Our culture has lost the art of giving affirmation. Words spoken well do not damage our kids, but fill them with confidence.

They powerfully communicate love, and even more so to a child (or adult) whose main love language is words of affirmation. (Hand raised here–it’s mine!) 

Ideas for homeschooling and teaching this child:

• take many opportunities throughout the day to encourage. “I love watching you work hard on your ….” or “I could see you being a great doctor” (or whatever career aspiration they’re into)
• leave a surprise note for a child to find under their pillow or in unexpected places (like when they open their math book)
• create a special loving phrase that is unique to you and this child
• in (or after) a difficult moment, share what you love about him or her
• speak out something positive about this child in front of others (spouse, neighbors, etc)

Receiving Gifts

Reading the chapter on gifts in The Five Love Languages for Children book gave me a broader concept behind the definition of a “gift.” It doesn’t mean shopping at the mall or spending tons of money. Instead, it suggested framing even the “essentials” I provide in a more special way.

For example, I usually buy new clothes for the kids in the fall. Instead of just bringing them out of the shopping bag when I got home, this year I placed each child’s new clothes inside a pillowcase and stuck a bow on the top with a quick note. Then I put the pillowcases in their rooms after they were asleep, so they woke in the morning to new clothes.

Ideas for homeschooling and teaching this child:

• pick up a rock, shell, or cool object from a nature walk–then place it in a surprising location for them to find with a note from you
• don’t just buy “homeschool supplies” – take a minute to wrap them up and present the gift in a fun way
• bring home a small treat once in a while when you’re out grocery shopping–something that shows you were thinking of your child
• make their favorite meal and let them know you did it to bless them
• involve your child in the purchases you need to make for them: “We need to buy you a pair of winter boots – let’s pick them out together!”

Quality Time

Two of my three children’s primary love language is quality time, meaning I have my work cut out for me in spreading myself around! I feel like I’m with my kids all the time as a homeschooling mother, but that doesn’t mean it comes across to my quality time needing kids.

If I’m busy or distracted, it doesn’t register in their emotional bank accounts. We don’t need to do anything special, but even making dinner together while chatting goes a long way to keeping those love tanks filled.

Ideas for homeschooling and teaching this child:

• make eye contact
• put away screens and other distractions when with them
• include them in your errands – this child will enjoy what other kids might find boring
• sit together and look at family photo albums
• don’t send them to work on all their assignments independently, even as they get older
• hang out without any agenda

Acts of Service

Acts of service doesn’t mean doing everything for a child and never having him take responsibility.

Instead it means recognizing that through your service this child receives your love. When you know this is a child’s main love language, you can put more effort in blessing them with the duties they struggle with most.

Ideas for homeschooling and teaching this child:

• don’t send your child off to work alone on their most difficult subject. Tackle it together.
• surprise your kid with a special breakfast on a regular weekday
• when your child is sick, show your love to them by the extra attention you offer
• try to respond quickly when this child asks for help
• every once in a while take over a child’s normal responsibilities (folding the laundry, cleaning his room, etc.)

Want to speak your child’s language?

This post barely scratches the surface on this topic, and if you’d like to go deeper make sure you check out The Five Love Languages of Children.

Reading this book showed me yet another reason why I’m thankful to be a homeschooling parent–the extra hours we spend together each day give me even more time to get to know my children deeply, and be able to demonstrate my unconditional love in the ways that speak volumes to them.

And an unexpected upside? By loving our children well, we also teach them how to love – a gift that keeps giving for generations.

“Accept the children the way we accept trees—with gratitude, because they are a blessing—but do not have expectations or desires. You don’t expect trees to change, you love them as they are.”
~ Isabel Allende

This post contains affiliate links, which means I receive a small commission from some of the links on this page.

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what you need most!

Shutting down the homeschool fight (before it even starts) ~
Written by Kara S. Anderson of Where the Beauty Is

We were invited to our new neighbors’ house for a backyard movie night – and I knew it was going to come up.

Because we’re homeschoolers.

And he’s a public school teacher.

There was going to be that question – that “why?” that strikes fear in our hearts, because if you’re like me, you’ve been down that road, and you’ve gotten smacked head-on by an 18-wheeler of judgment and misunderstanding.

My semi-truck moment came several years ago with a man my husband knows crashed my mom’s birthday celebration. (Truly.)

“So why do you homeschool?” he asked.

We were new to homeschooling, and so stupidly, I tried honesty.

(My son was an early reader, but had little patience for the letter-of-the-day worksheets so loved by his pre-school. Rather than send him to a place where he was just bound to get in trouble …)

“Well, my son was an early reader …” I started.

And before I could explain further, the man pounced: “So was David Koresh.”

Seriously? For clarification’s sake, I want to point out that he was wrong. (I think he had confused his cult leaders.)

I learned an important lesson that night, though – that sometimes, a heartfelt rainbows-and-cupcakes monologue isn’t the best approach when somebody wants to pick a homeschool fight.

Here are a couple of things that work better:

Shutting down the homeschool fight (before it even starts)

1. “Oh, I don’t like to debate my family’s choices.”

This one works on everything from cloth diapering to why your child can’t watch PG-13 movies with Grandma. I find it most effective when stated in a very relaxed way, because I’m not looking for a fight — I’m looking to be all done with that particular topic.

“Oh, I don’t like to debate my family’s choices,” I’ll say with a wave of my hand, as if I’m incapable of getting worked up.

Nope, I’m quietly strong and graceful. I am Princess Diana and the Dalai Lama.

And I am changing the subject to the weather now.

2. I focus my attention on educating my children, not strangers.

I like this one at the grocery store, but I rarely say it aloud. I do repeat it to myself, while smiling politely at whoever is standing in front of me questioning our life and everything that defines us.

Because sometimes it is worth it to make a point, or to defend your choices, and sometimes, you just really need milk and bananas.

3. “We enjoy it.”

I know. This seems too simple. You need to hit folks with more reasoning, right?

No. Because reasoning only works on the reasonable, and then only sometimes.

When I tell someone that we LIKE homeschooling, it immediately shuts down most potential negative responses.

Because expressing your own joy:

• isn’t judging their choices, which can make people feel defensive.
• isn’t an attempt to educate them, which only works if they are open to new ideas.
• isn’t indicating that you are up for a debate, or that you want to continue that particular line of questioning.

Why do we homeschool?

Because we love it. Thank you for asking.

Perhaps at this point you are wondering what happened during that backyard movie night. Ready?

Absolutely nothing.

Which brings me to my last thought:

4. Cool it, John Wayne.

Don’t go into every interaction looking for a fight. Most people who ask about homeschooling are just making conversation, and the entire time you are carefully constructing a well thought out answer, they are trying to remember their grocery list or their brain is otherwise consumed with their own business.

Some are genuinely curious, but most don’t want an argument. (And even if they do, disagreements are one thing, but fights often aren’t worth the time and energy, so choose wisely.)

My neighbor the teacher doesn’t seem to care whether we homeschool our kids, because really, it doesn’t affect him in any way. I could ask him why he chooses to teach public school, but the truth is, that doesn’t affect me.

He’s nice to my kids, and patient with my poor landscaping. He’s a good neighbor and we’re blessed to have him.

So instead of entering into a verbal sparring match about our differences, we found a lot of common ground that night, while watching a movie about creatures from different planets learning to get along.

Really.

Our families laughed as we indulged in sugary snacks, and I think it’s safe to say that we accepted each other, despite being on slightly different paths.

And while the kettle corn and ice cream were great, I think that the quiet acceptance we found that night might have been the sweetest treat of all.

* Find more of Kara’s inspirational writing on SH here!

Do you ever try shutting down the homeschool fight (before it even starts)? What works for you?

Growing up, I often felt like an only child, even though I had siblings. The age gap between us meant that while they were navigating adulthood, I was still a child, left to entertain myself and experience life in my own bubble.

I vividly remember watching other families where siblings played together, bickered, and then made up—just like on TV.

The camaraderie and companionship they shared filled me with longing, and I promised myself that when I became a mother, I would have a big family of kids who would be each other’s best friends.

But then reality hit. As my kids grew, they began bickering over the most trivial things—who got the orange popsicle, who got to sit in the front seat, who touched whose toy, who creased the pages of a book, who breathed too loudly. It was not the picture-perfect sibling bond I had imagined.

Instead, it often felt like I was refereeing a never-ending match of tiny disputes. Where was the loving, harmonious family I had envisioned and more importantly, what was I doing wrong?

I quickly learned that I wasn’t alone. Many moms feel disillusioned when their children fight. After all, we rarely post the squabbles and tantrums—the constant back-and-forth that’s inevitable in family life.

Instead, the world often sees sweet pictures of siblings hugging, smiling, and playing peacefully. But those snapshots are only a moment in time, not a complete story. The truth is, sibling rivalry is a normal, and even necessary, part of family dynamics.

If you’re feeling dismayed by your children’s frequent arguments, take heart. You’re not failing as parents. In fact, by guiding your kids through these tough moments, you’re giving them invaluable tools they’ll carry into adulthood.

The key isn’t to eliminate conflict but to teach them how to navigate sibling rivalry in healthy, constructive ways.

Things are by no means perfect in our home – we’re still growing, and some days are better than others – but here are some things that I have learned along the way that have helped foster stronger sibling bonds despite the squabbles.

Navigating Sibling Rivalry While Homeschooling

Give Them Space to Work Things Out

As much as we want to step in and mediate every disagreement, it’s crucial to give siblings space to resolve conflicts on their own. Not only does this teach them valuable communication skills, but it also fosters independence. Of course, there are times when you’ll need to intervene, but for smaller disputes, try stepping back and letting them work through the problem.

When you do intervene, avoid taking sides. Instead, focus on helping both parties express their feelings and find a solution they can agree on.

This neutral stance encourages empathy and understanding, rather than escalating the conflict.

I admit, this can be incredibly challenging. There are moments when I need to step away to clear my head—or calm down—before returning to help.

Sibling rivalry happens in all families, but homeschooling families experience it in a unique way.

Homeschooled children, especially when they’re young, spend nearly all of their waking hours together, which intensify these dynamics.

Celebrate Their Differences

It’s easy to fall into the trap of expecting siblings to be similar, especially when they share so much of their environment. But just because they’re raised in the same home doesn’t mean they’ll have the same personalities, interests, or needs.

Some children are naturally more sensitive, while others are more independent.

Some love to talk about their feelings, while others prefer to work through things internally. Help your children understand that it’s okay to be different and that those differences can actually strengthen their relationship. Encourage them to respect each other’s unique qualities, and remind them that they don’t have to be the same to love and support one another.

Model Healthy Relationships

Our children learn how to navigate relationships by watching us. If we model healthy conflict resolution, patience, and empathy in our interactions—whether with our spouse, friends, or even with them—they’ll be more likely to adopt those same behaviors. It’s not about being perfect, but about showing them that even in the midst of disagreement, love and respect can prevail.

If you, like me, imagined a harmonious, conflict-free family life with siblings who always get along, it’s easy to feel disheartened when reality doesn’t match the dream. But rest assured: sibling conflict is not a sign of failure, nor does it mean your children won’t grow up to be close.

Instead, it’s an opportunity for growth—for them and for you.

Over time, with guidance, patience, and a lot of love, those small, daily interactions (both the good and the bad) will weave together to create lasting bonds. And one day, we’ll look back and realize that even in the midst of the chaos, we were building something beautiful.

* Read more from Amber on Simple Homeschool here.

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

Seasons of Homeschooling: A Mother’s Journey ~ 
Written by Amber O’Neal Johnston from Heritage Mom

Homeschooling is a unique and transformative journey, filled with distinct seasons that each bring their own challenges and rewards. As mothers, we often experience these seasons in waves—moving from survival to maintenance to growth—each demanding different aspects of our energy, creativity, and patience.

Embracing these seasons of homeschooling fully can transform our homeschooling experience from one of mere endurance to one of fulfillment and joy:

Seasons of Survival

Every homeschooling mother knows the season of survival. This is when simply getting through the day feels like an achievement. With toddlers underfoot and babies in tow, the goal is to keep everyone fed, dry, and safe.

Structured lessons might take a backseat to impromptu learning moments, and that’s perfectly okay. Survival mode is marked by flexibility and resilience.

It’s about recognizing that homeschooling, especially with very young children, isn’t about perfection—it’s about presence.

When I was in this season, I always felt like I wasn’t doing enough. If the dishes were clean and the laundry folded, I wasn’t reading aloud enough. If I was killing it with the school lessons and the field trips were stellar, the house was a wreck.

When the kids had abundant energy, I was exhausted. When I was itching to get out and explore, the kids were napping. But when I look back at that time, I see now just how precious and foundational it was.

The point of that season wasn’t to have it all together; it was a time for me to fall in love with my children and the life we were building, and it was so good.

Seasons of Maintenance

As children grow and routines become more established, homeschooling can enter a season of maintenance. This is a time when we begin to execute well-laid plans more carefully. We start to understand our children’s unique learning styles and our own capacities for teaching and homemaking.

The balance between being a mom and a teacher starts to feel more attainable.

This season is also about fine-tuning our approach. It’s a period of gradual improvement and increased confidence. Here, the focus is on sustainability—creating a homeschooling environment that is both nurturing and effective without exhausting our resources or energy.

Most of my homeschooling journey has been spent in this season. A sense of calm alternated with a frenetic scramble as my learning curve perpetually shifted. It was spent finding my groove just in time to lose it again as my kids got older, we moved homes, or the families in our homeschool group changed.

There were hard moments, but they were part of a fascinating and glorious ride.

Seasons of Growth

Eventually, many homeschooling mothers find themselves in a season of growth. This is a time of profound personal development and reflection. As our children grow more independent in their studies, we might discover that we have more time to pursue our own interests and passions.

This realization can be both liberating and exhilarating. In this season of growth, we can adopt habits that enrich our lives and, by extension, our family’s homeschooling experience. Reading widely, engaging in creative hobbies, and pursuing personal goals are all part of this growth.

Embracing rest also becomes crucial during this season. Understanding that a well-rested mother can provide a better educational environment for her children is key. Shedding the guilt associated with taking time for ourselves allows us to return to our families with renewed energy and enthusiasm.

This period is about realizing that we don’t have to be martyrs to be effective and loving homeschool parents.

I find myself in this season today, and daily, I’m learning how to embrace moments of personal reflection. I’m noticing the expansion in my thoughts and ideas, and I crave the stimulation found in conversations with my children and husband, the books I read, and my circle of mama friends. This is an unexpected season, one I didn’t know was coming, and its arrival has felt like a found treasure.

Embracing the Seasons of Homeschooling

Each season of homeschooling has its unique challenges and beauty. The key is to fully engage with the season you’re in, knowing that it will soon morph into something different.

Cherish the simplicity and closeness that come with survival mode. Strive for balance and effectiveness in times of maintenance. In growth, celebrate the new interests and rest that allow you to be the best version of yourself for your family.

Homeschooling without being a martyr means embracing each season with an open heart, recognizing that each phase contributes to the richness of the journey.

By doing so, we not only nurture our children’s education but also our own personal development and well-being. The journey of homeschooling is a dynamic, evolving experience that shapes both parent and child in beautiful and unexpected ways.

* Find more of Amber’s writing on Simple Homeschool here!

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

When Homeschoolers Change Their Minds ~ 
Written by Amber O’Neal Johnston from Heritage Mom

My husband and I excitedly jumped in with our preschooler when we began homeschooling. Part of our reason for keeping her home was the opportunity for acceleration; we wanted her to start school earlier than our local school district would allow.

With a stack of read-alouds, a box of colorful math manipulatives, and a zoo membership in hand, we were off to the races.

I had no clue what I was doing, so I spent a lot of time studying early childhood education philosophies online. The more I researched, the more convinced I became that our initial acceleration goal was no longer a wise position. Instead, we decided to put on the brakes and slow down.

That decision didn’t stop our forward movement, but we lingered longer and prioritized expansive, broad learning over going farther, faster.

The more committed we became to meandering, the surer we were that we’d made the right choice. Until it was no longer serving our daughter.

When Homeschoolers Change Their Minds

Last summer, our oldest came to me requesting to begin high school a year sooner than planned. I wasn’t receptive to the idea as I assumed she was trying to keep up with her besties, and I didn’t see that as a valid reason to change anything. But she immediately teared up, which was so unlike her, and I could tell she was in distress.

She proceeded to perfectly articulate the reasons that she felt ready for high school. And to my surprise, it had nothing to do with her friends.

Because of our initial slow schooling vibe, she had always been the oldest in her “grade.” As the years went on, our “move at your own pace” mantra resulted in a quickened pace, making her ready for higher-level learning earlier than I anticipated.

She wanted to be challenged and to feel like the hard work she was putting in would be acknowledged for what it was.

I explained that we could count some of her eighth-grade work toward high school credit, but she found that idea entirely unsatisfying:

“I’ve done everything you’ve ever asked of me and genuinely enjoy learning. I don’t receive letter grades, compete with other students, get awards in assemblies, or anything similar. My motivation has always come from within, and getting the school grade designation that matches the work I’m doing motivates me right now, even if you don’t understand it.”

Who could argue with that? So, I threw out my eighth-grade plans and quickly adjusted, but it was a struggle. I felt like I was reneging on my philosophy of not rushing through school.

My unpreparedness flustered me because I normally research thoroughly and enter the school year very organized. Most of all, I was scared.

By allowing my daughter to start high school sooner, I felt like I was signing up to lose a year with her in our home, and the mere thought of it made me terribly sad. I shared my honest thoughts with a dear friend, and what she said changed everything.

“You don’t want her to remain in the nest simply because you clipped her wings.”

Such wisdom! I don’t ever want to hold my children back. With that in mind, I shook off the yoke of fear, rolled up my sleeves, and planned as beautiful a ninth-grade year as I could, and boy, has it been magnificent.

My daughter was absolutely right. She was ready for the next level in every way. Her lessons have flourished, her social life has blossomed, and she is more confident and self-assured than ever.

Changing my mind hurt, but it was one of the best decisions of our homeschooling journey.

The big picture is now held loosely in my palm as I acknowledge that what is right in a particular season will continue to shift as my kids grow and mature—and, truthfully, as I grow and mature.

As homeschoolers, we chart a course, navigate the seas, and do our best to keep the ship sailing toward shore. But sometimes, there’s an island so beautiful that we must stop and visit. At other times, we drop anchor to rest or recover from an unexpected storm.

And then again, there are moments when we realize that we misread the compass or are headed to the wrong port. As captains of our family’s homeschooling journey, we have the privilege of changing our minds, especially when the health of our beloved crew is at stake.

Take the wheel and steer confidently, dear parent, knowing that you’re doing your best with the information and tools you have right now. Tomorrow, you may change your mind, and new adventures await you at every turn.

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

I am Brave

I am frozen to the spot; terror fills my every fibre. My feet are jammed into the metal staple on the sheer cliff side, legs shaking, my hands grasping on tight to the staple above.

I dare not look down at my feet. At the acres of nothingness that falls between them and the ground. Instead, I look across.

There, calmly dangling off the mountain ahead is my 14-year-old girl, my precious baby, leaning out and back to help her best friend navigate this tricky section of the Via Ferrata, seemingly without a care in the world.

Knowing my fear of heights, she’d tentatively suggested this adrenaline-fueled activity as a birthday treat, followed swiftly with, “But if it’s too much for you Mummy, we don’t have to do it.”

Now I was somewhat regretting my eagerness to please with the words, “Yes, why not!”

All I could do was focus on my breath. In and out. While I tried to block the repetitive internal dialogue of, “Why, why do you do these crazy things?!”

But, after stretching, scrambling and hoisting ourselves along cliff edges, vertical climbs and an infinity bridge, we finally reached the end.

Rosie threw her arms around me, shouting, “I’m so proud of you Mummy!” I promptly burst into tears.

She is Brave

Fast forward a week and we’re presented with a different moment. Rosie, an acting fanatic, had been offered the opportunity to attend a Youth Creative Convention at the home of Shakespeare, Stratford-Upon-Avon.

The sting: A six-hour round trip on a coach with a group of older teens she’s never met, but who know each other well.

The idea of everyone else having friends, of no-one talking to her for six hours and feeling conspicuously alone nearly overwhelmed her. I left it up to her to decide.

Later, she sidled up to me and courageously said, “Mummy, I’m going to do this. You faced your fears on that mountainside, and you’ve inspired me. So, I am going to be brave too. But I’m going to download some films so that if I’m left alone, I can be happy watching them without feeling like I need to be part of the group.”

In that moment, I stared at my girl in awe – Brave enough to not let fear stand in her way but smart enough to put in a backup strategy!

But I was also floored by this thought: Seeing me brave had given Rosie the fuel to do the same.

On her return, I knew just by looking into her eyes that it had been a success.

The convention was inspiring and the big scary coach turned out to be a small minibus. The other children were unanimously friendly and not knitted into an impenetrable clique as she had dreaded.

She had shown up and faced her fears.

Daily Brave Choices 

Instinctively we all know that as parents, we are our children’s first and biggest role models. Thus, it should follow that we spend time on our own development, growing to become better versions of ourselves.

But how much energy and time do we really spend on this? “Very little,” is my honest answer.

So I’ve started to consciously make a brave choice each day, and share them with Rosie. This has included establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries with certain individuals, a spontaneous solo theatre trip,  facing up to healthy anxiety, and recording my first podcast!

Inspired, she too started her own daily brave journey.

My favourite example of hers is a new evening acting class in London. Travelling there alone on trains, the Tube and through dark streets, she’s stretched both of our brave boundaries to the maximum and come out beaming!

*****

What if being brave is not just about the big adventures we plan for holidays or vacations?

It can also be seen as pushing yourself out of the safe option of doing what you always do, behaving the way you always behave and thinking the way you always think. It’s about stopping and considering a different path.

Is there one tiny brave choice you can make and share with your kids today?

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your type needs most!

I’ve experienced so many ups and downs throughout our home education journey, it’s impossible to count them all. I know I’m not alone! Most of the trials and joys of homeschooling are ones we share in common.

Still some issues each of us face are unique, and at times may lead us to create what our family needs. Here’s our family’s story of doing exactly that:

Creating the Homeschooling Community You Crave

As an African American homeschooling family, one major hurdle we’ve faced is the lack of representation in the broader homeschool community.

The face of home education in America has traditionally been derived from who presents at/attends large homeschooling conferences, who writes for and reads popular home education publications, blogs, and social media accounts, and who authors mainstream books appealing to homeschooling parents.

Historically, these spaces have been relatively homogenous, as Black homeschoolers and others have struggled to be recognized as experts and included in opportunities to share, learn, and grow.

Sadly this has led some potential Black homeschoolers to feel dissuaded from teaching their children at home. It has also left many who take the plunge feeling disconnected.

The lack of culturally representative curricula is also a challenge. Though availability is slowly increasing, things like literature guides covering books featuring Black characters and history or science lessons that include the contributions of Black people are difficult to come by.

When books and lessons do mention Black Americans, they often focus solely on trials and oppression rather than expressions of Black joy: family bonds, community ties, cultural arts, and everyday friendships.

The tragedies of enslavement, the struggle for civil rights, and the difficulties of impoverished urban life are crucial areas for students to explore, but focusing on these alone can negatively impact both hearts and minds.

Black kids enjoy reading adventures, mysteries, coming-of-age novels, fantasies, historical fiction, biographies, and compelling nonfiction books as much as other children. The lack of convenient resources to help parents navigate these stories when they pursue them independently is a roadblock for those lacking the time or experience to develop lessons from scratch.

I’ve tried to help in this area by sharing African American book recommendations and easy-to-follow Black history lesson plans on my website, and others like Stories of Color are doing the same. But the homeschooling community still has a long way to go.

Another common challenge of homeschooling Black children is the lack of diversity in many communities. While some young people can navigate being the only Black child in their local support group, co-op, or extracurricular activities, it can be difficult for most, particularly as they get older.

In many areas, parents have seen an unmet need for homeschooling spaces where their Black children feel included, accepted, and known.

In major metropolitan markets, long-standing diverse groups often exist, but for some Black parents, meeting this need requires working with others to create a new environment. This was certainly the case for us.

In 2016, I launched a local homeschool support group to help families with Black children (not all the parents are Black) easily find a community of other homeschoolers with whom to learn and socialize.

Our group meets regularly for enrichment activities, service projects, field trips, nature-based activities, family events, educational road trips, parent webinars, moms’ or dads’ nights out, and more. The group is member-led, so activities are determined based on the needs and desires of the group, with each family having opportunities to plan events.

Our children still participate in plenty of other programming across our area, so the group is not meant to be a road to separation but another tool for successfully helping Black families homeschool.

This community, initially born out of disappointment with what was available, has now blossomed into one of the most joyful aspects of our homeschooling journey.

Of course, belonging is something families of all backgrounds crave. So whether your children are looking for friends with similar cultural experiences, differing abilities, or simply peers who enjoy the same activities (nature walks, board games, book clubs, sports, etc.), creating the community your family craves may be a perfect first step to fulfilling your family’s unmet need.

What you offer will likely be an answered prayer for other families, making the effort more fruitful and worthwhile.

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your type needs most!

Bittersweet: My First Fall NOT Homeschooling ~
Written by Jamie C. Martin of Simple Homeschool and Introverted Moms

My friends, it has a been a bittersweet autumn for my mother’s heart.

Time is a weird, weird thing. You try to grit your teeth and get through one day at a time, then somehow blink to find 15 years has past. Weird, weird, weird.

My first fall not homeschooling has been both glorious and causing me to occasionally burst into tears. In this life, it seems like we don’t just get one or the other. Not just the “sweet” and thankfully, not just the “bitter” – but a mix of both.

I’m sure in your own way, you know just what I mean!

So I recorded a full episode (Ep 118) on my Simple Homeschool podcast to chat through the mixed emotions that have been coming up for me, and what I’m learning through them:

Click here to listen in!

Bittersweet: My First Fall NOT Homeschooling

Let me give you just a few examples of how this is playing out:

Sweet: Seeing my 19-year-old Jonathan spread his wings as Lighting Director for the Jonas Brothers

Bitter: The way it twists my heart that he has a whole new (and radically different!) life that I’m not a daily part of

*****

Sweet: My Elijah (18) starting our public school’s program for Special Needs Youth ages 18-22

Bitter: Getting public school e-blasts and being part of “the system” after 15 years outside of it (though I’m so, so grateful, too!)

*****

Sweet: My Trishna (20) growing and using her gifts as she works at her first adult job

Bitter: Watching her have the stress of difficult co-workers and being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world

*****

Sweet: Not having to get up early for the homeschool day!

Bitter: Those sparkly, magical moments that came now and then during breakfast read-alouds around the dining table

*****

Sweet: The excitement and possibility of imagining what might be next for me

Bitter: The scariness of the unknown and grieving the loss of a 15 year season

What feels bitter and sweet for you, fellow Simple Homeschoolers?

However this homeschool year has been going thus far, whether it’s been heavy on the bitter or heavy on the sweet – please honor your reality of how it feels right now!

We can look for balance on the other side of the scale when highs or lows threaten our stability, but the first step is just being real about what’s there.

Thanks for letting me do that with you today, friends. xo, Jamie

If you’d like to hear me share more about the above, look for Episode 118 of the Simple Homeschool podcast here!

3 Tips for a Successful Poetry Teatime – Written by Erin Vincent of Nourishing My Scholar

“Mama, can we have poetry teatime?”

My 10-year-old asked me this simple question, and I thought, why not? There was no reason to say no to such a delightful request.

She proceeded to set the table while I gathered our poetry books. She requested her favorite poem, “Tyger”, by William Blake. We discovered some sugar cookies in the fridge that needed to be baked and a box of snack cakes in the cupboard.

I asked my 15-year-old if he’d like to join us, and he agreed, though he did request some Edgar Allen Poe. I put the kettle on to boil and got out our musical teapot. We spent the next 45 minutes taking turns reading poetry.

The wafts of freshly baked cookies filled the air, and our teapot trilled a little tune every time we picked it up. That was our most recent poetry teatime, and I call that a homeschool win.

We’ve enjoyed the simplicity of poetry teatime for over ten years. Since then, we’ve discovered our favorite poetry books, snacks, and tea. There are no hard rules for poetry teatime.

However, you may find a few of these tips helpful.

3 Tips for a Successful Poetry Teatime

1. Treats

While poetry is beautiful and speaks to my soul on many levels, it’s not what initially hooked my kids. Nope. What got my kids loving poetry at first was the treats!

Whether it was a homemade dessert or a little Debbie cake out of the package, my kids love treats. Of course, my son was only five years old when we started having poetry teatime, so yummy snacks were an absolute must. Find what your kids love and present that along with the poetry.

I read poetry, or we take turns reading until the treats and tea run out. Simple as that.

2. Tea

Then there is the tea. There is a wide range of tea, and experimenting with different types was fun. We discovered some we hated and others that we adored.

My son’s favorite is Bengal Spice with a splash of milk, while my daughter loves fruity teas. Sometimes we wouldn’t have tea at all, but hot chocolate or cider instead. How about a lemonade poetry teatime on a hot, sunny summer day?

Also, I never went out and bought a fancy tea set. Rather we’ve collected tea cups and teapots over the years from yard sales, thrift shops, etc.

3. Poetry

We’ve gathered poetry books from bookstores, thrift stores, library sales, and many other places. If we see a new one at the library, we’ll check it out too. Many poetry books have crossed our threshold and made appearances at our teatimes, and we are better for them.

They have taught us much in the way of nature, seasons, love, and the human spirit. Not to mention imagery, patterns, and rhyming.

Poetry teatime doesn’t have to be planned. It can be as simple or as extravagant as you want to make it. Add a vase of flowers, a fancy table cloth or candles if you like.

Do it on a whim, when your children ask, or every Tuesday of the week. Whatever works for you is the best way. That’s the beauty in the freedom that homeschooling provides.

You can do whatever works for your family. Poetry teatime is coming together over a lovely table with tea, treats, and poetry, which helps bring a love of words and rhymes in a gentle way. Make it look and feel how you want it to look and feel, even poetry teatime.

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your type needs most!

How hard do I push my hesitant child? ~ Written by Kari Patterson

As I typed this title tears sprang to my eyes. Wow, what a journey it’s been.

If I had to sum up what it’s been like the last 16 years with an Asperger’s child, this question is what comes to mind. How hard do I push my hesitant child? I’ve erred on both sides of pushing — too much, not enough — at times, so I write this not as someone who’s nailed it, but as someone who’s experimented a lot and has a few thoughts to share.

I remember when Dutch was a toddler we joked that his favorite thing to do was whatever he was already doing. It didn’t matter what, he just didn’t want to do something else. Even now, we joke that he’s a bit of a hobbit — he loves home, favorite foods, familiar comforts, he even has wide, flat feet.

Years ago I talked to a seasoned mom who had raised an Asperger’s son. She said she would’ve pushed him a little more to try new things like sending him into the store by himself to buy milk. Her son is grown and thriving, so obviously it wasn’t detrimental to his development, but I appreciate her honest reflection.

I’ve constantly felt this tension. The very thing I love about homeschooling is the gentle, unhurried pace. But I also love that it affords me the freedom to do whatever is best for my unique child, and some children do indeed need a little nudge.

How hard do I push my hesitant child?

Let’s look at three questions to help guide: To push or not to push?

1. Is my own unhealthy fear motivating this push?

There is healthy fear, of course: Will I overindulge his timid tendencies in such a way that he’ll be unprepared for real life? Will I push too hard in such a way that he’s scarred and therefore equally unprepared for real life?

I think a touch of that is healthy. We recognize the weight of our responsibility as parents. We’re not flippant.

Unhealthy fears come into play when we’re worrying about what other people think,  trying to make our children into something that satisfies our own egos, constantly trying to keep up with so-and-so’s kids, and thinking our children’s performance is some sort of report card that proves we’re doing well as homeschool parents.

 The question is: What’s best for him?

2. Is it something in line with how he or she is already wired? 

I see healthy parental pushing as the strategic placement of pressure in order to empower a child to do what you’re pretty sure they’ll end up loving. Of course “pretty sure” is the key. This whole parenting thing is a risk from start to finish. 

Over the years we’ve watched Dutch closely and tried to nudge his natural gifts. Piano and baseball were early ones that we thought he’d love. Alas, he did not.

When he was young I made him go outside every single day for a nature walk, Charlotte Mason style, and he hated it. But at 12 we enrolled him in a school for homeschool teens, which was a huge step as he’d never learned away from home. He LOVED it and is still going strong. 

This year we encouraged him to run Cross-Country at our local high school. This was a huge stretch for him, and at first he decided he didn’t want to, but the coach wrote him an email that inspired him, he agreed to run and ended up loving it.  Now he’s running track as well and plans to do both through his high school career.

He’s looking forward to college and handles most new situations with confidence. 

3. Am I willing to stay close when he struggles through the push? 

Helping a reluctant child try something new requires a lot of us as parents. Honestly, it’s often easier not to try the new thing, whatever it is. Just last week there were two separate instances where I needed to push our older two kids a bit. It meant a significant time commitment for me in both situations.

As a parent, I need to be ready to absorb the time and emotional cost of being beside them and helping them navigate that hard thing.

In my instance, it was so worth it! They both passed the “test” of the situation with flying colors and felt more confident and encouraged as a result of doing the hard thing.

Oh friends, I’ve done this poorly so many times. But I’m also so grateful for the times these nudges have been exactly what our kids have needed. You may not like the word push. Feel free to term it however you’re comfortable — a nudge, a strong encouragement, a joyful steady force.

Whatever we call it, let’s help our hesitant children be all they can be!

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your type needs most!