Homeschool tips for students with ADHD ~
Written by Colleen Kessler of Raising Lifelong Learners

“He’s an EXTREME thinker,” exclaimed my oldest son’s preschool teacher the first time I met with her for a conference more than thirteen years ago. Since that day, I’ve endured all sorts of similar comments — some judgmental; some tinged with laughter — all of them related to his non. stop. energy.

My son was diagnosed with ADHD by the first of three psychologists we saw beginning when he was five. We’d later discover that his wasn’t truly ADHD, but hyperactivity and impulsivity that mimicked it, a result of his overexcitabilities stemming from profound giftedness.

But as ADHD and psychomotor overexcitabilities tend to need similar adjustments to learning environments and styles, we chose to pull him out of the public school system more than a decade ago so that we could meet those challenging and unique needs.

Homeschooling a child with ADHD can be a great way to adapt learning to their needs, and over the years we’ve found some things that work well as we try to tackle the ever-changing needs ADHD kiddos have.

Homeschool Tips For Students With ADHD

Stick with a regular routine.  While a kiddo with ADHD may struggle with routine, it is an important practice for the future.  Teaching your child about routine will help them to learn to be more focused.  A flexible routine is important, but overall you should have one you try to stick to on a regular basis.

This doesn’t mean you should have your child waking up and sitting at a desk as kids do in public school — for us, that was the kiss of death when we first started homeschooling and I fell back on my public-school-teaching-past. It does, however, mean you need to help your child maintain a sense of control in the daily routine.

Routine trumps a structured schedule every time. When kids know that morning chores come before breakfast, then comes independent work, then group work, then lunch, then free time, then dinner, then bedtime, they know what to expect — regardless of how much time each activity takes.

Create short lessons.  One of the best homeschool tips for teaching a child that has been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD is to adjust the activity times to suit their stamina.  In a traditional school environment, most subjects are covered in 30-45 minute increments at a time.  In a homeschool environment, you can focus on shorter class times that will work better for your child and their limited attention span.

Start with 15-minute sessions or activities.  In between each 15-minute time block, give your child (and you!) brain breaks or a chance to stretch their legs. Play outside, grab a snack, take time to dance in the kitchen… any of these things can get you and your kiddo recharged to keep going.

Allow for movement. Like my son, your ADHD child probably needs to move all the time. In a school setting, this was a “behavior” that gets kids in trouble. Remember — homeschooling offers the flexibility to teach how a child needs to learn. Math facts on the trampoline? Absolutely! Reading while upside down on the couch with the dog curled in the lap and feet tap on the wall? Sure, why not!

Kids can also sit on exercise balls, fidget or hum while doing math, or do jumping jacks in between comprehension questions. Pick what works for your child.  You have to think about the struggles your unique child has to determine what will work best for them in this situation.

Get involved in local homeschool groups. This is truly invaluable for most homeschooling parents.  Including local homeschool group meetings into your homeschool schedule can make a huge difference in your productivity and the success of your child.  

There are tons of options for homeschool groups to consider.  Some are strictly co-op situations that are educational.  Others are for field trips and playdates.  Some, in light of the current situation we face during a pandemic, are only meeting online. Search for options in your city, county, and your state so you check out multiple options to see what works best for your kiddo.

Remember as you are adapting your homeschool — consider your child above all, and not just what others are recommending.  Every child diagnosed with ADHD and ADD (or overexcitabilities) will have different struggles.  Some will be physically more active, while others may struggle to concentrate on one subject for long time periods.  The reason most parents choose to homeschool is to truly make education work for their child.

You’ve got this! Enjoy the adventure.

Oh! And that “extreme thinker” is now seventeen, entering his senior year of homeschooling as a fulltime college student, working towards a Bachelor’s in Computer Science. He also has an internship with the college program to develop a VR campus experience for other remote-learning students while running a freelance audio and video editing business from home.

He’s still an extreme thinker — but homeschooling allowed him to think in his own way, and thrive.

* Read more of Colleen’s work on Simple Homeschool here!

Do you have homeschool tips for students with ADHD? I’d love to hear them. Share below.

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

Homeschooling Neurodivergent Children with Flexibility ~
Written by Colleen Kessler from Raising Lifelong Learners

The day started off well. We had knocked out math and language arts by lunchtime and were getting ready to dive into a science experiment we’d been looking forward to. 

Cue panic attack and subsequent meltdown.

As I soothed and calmed the anxious kiddo, the others drifted to their own projects and passions, and I knew the experiment would be pushed to another day.

Homeschooling presents a unique set of challenges and joys, especially when you have neurodivergent children. While traditional schools struggle to accommodate diverse learning styles, homeschooling is the perfect alternative.

But one of the hardest things for parents who homeschool is finding the right mix between structure and flexibility in how they teach.

This careful balance can have a big effect on how a neurodivergent child learns. Let’s look at some strategies to navigate this successfully.

Homeschooling Neurodivergent Children with Flexibility

First, we need to remember that kids like my anxious one need the structure that provides a stable and safe environment in which to learn. While they don’t necessarily need a strict schedule, they should know what’s expected from day to day. They also need to know that you, their parent and safe space, are there if things become overwhelming and that you’ll flex both structure and schedule so they can recover. 

Structure provides a sense of predictability and security for neurodivergent children.

Establishing a routine can help manage anxiety and improve focus. It can ease the overwhelm and distractibility that comes with ADHD. It can help a gifted brain stay on-task long enough to complete a project before taking apart the vacuum to see how it works.

However, rigid schedules may stifle creativity and exacerbate resistance to learning. Finding the right balance is key.

Tips for Incorporating Structure

• Establish a Daily Routine: Create a flexible schedule with designated times for learning, meals, breaks, and activities. Be mindful of your child’s energy levels and attention span when planning tasks.
• Visual Aids and Timers: Utilize visual schedules, timers, and calendars to help your child understand and anticipate daily activities. Visual aids can enhance comprehension and reduce stress.
• Clear Expectations: Communicate expectations clearly and consistently. Break tasks into manageable steps and provide positive reinforcement for progress.
• Create a Dedicated Learning Space: Designate a quiet, organized area specifically for homeschooling activities. Minimize distractions and personalize the space to cater to your child’s sensory needs.
• Utilize Adaptive Tools: Explore adaptive tools and technology to accommodate your child’s learning style. Consider audiobooks, interactive apps, or sensory-friendly materials to enhance engagement.

Flexibility is equally vital in accommodating the dynamic nature of neurodivergent learners. While structure provides stability, flexibility allows for individualized learning experiences, exploration of interests, and the need for a break when it’s warranted.

Embracing flexibility empowers children to learn at their own pace and in ways that resonate with them, and it teaches them to advocate for themselves and to be kind when their brains or bodies just crave downtime.

Strategies for Flexibility

• Follow Your Child’s Lead: Pay attention to your child’s interests, strengths, and areas of struggle. Adapt your teaching approach to capitalize on their passions and foster intrinsic motivation.
• Incorporate Multi-Sensory Learning: Engage multiple senses to enrich the learning experience. Incorporate hands-on activities, field trips, and creative projects to stimulate different modes of learning.
• Allow for Breaks and Movement: Recognize the importance of breaks and physical activity in maintaining focus and regulating emotions. Encourage movement breaks and outdoor exploration to support overall well-being.
• Be Open to Unconventional Learning Opportunities: Embrace spontaneous learning opportunities that arise outside of traditional curriculum. Whether it’s cooking, gardening, or birdwatching, every experience can be a valuable learning opportunity.
• Adjust and Adapt: Stay open to adjusting your approach based on your child’s evolving needs and feedback. Flexibility allows for experimentation and refinement to optimize the homeschooling experience

Balancing structure and flexibility is an ongoing journey in homeschooling neurodivergent children. By embracing the unique strengths and challenges of each child, homeschooling parents can create a nurturing environment that promotes growth, confidence, and joy in learning. 

You can always get back to the learning, but ignoring the social, emotional, or heart needs of your kiddo can have long-term negative effects. Being flexible within the structure gives you the framework to meet all the needs of your kiddos, ensuring that homeschooling is the perfect educational choice for your outside-the-box child. 

Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all approach. Trust your instincts, stay adaptable, and celebrate the remarkable journey of homeschooling your neurodivergent child.

You’ve got this. 

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your type needs most!

Let Go To Thrive When Homeschooling Neurodiverse Kids ~
Written by Colleen Kessler from Raising Lifelong Learners

Our homeschool year started last week. By Tuesday of this week, I had melted down into a puddle and called my friend crying. I was overwhelmed, burnt out, and sure I was not going to be able to handle doing it again this year.

Folks, I’ve been homeschooling, both typical and neurodiverse kids, for thirteen years. And I was sure (at several points this year) that I was absolutely going to fail and have been messing up my kids all along the way. Sound familiar?

Prefer to listen instead?

Most homeschool parents face this meltdown point at one time or another — many cycle through it again and again. And, if you’re homeschooling neurodiverse children, you probably cycle through it more often than most.

Parenting and homeschooling differently-wired kiddos is exhausting. 

Sometimes the hardest part can be letting go of our own expectations. The reality is, though, that it can be one of the very best things we can do for our atypical child.

There are five areas where letting go can set us on the path to freedom and joy when homeschooling neurodiverse kids.

How to Thrive When Homeschooling Neurodiverse Kids

1. Educational Expectations

If you have homeschooled your child for any length of time, this one likely doesn’t surprise you. When our atypical children progress on their own timelines and learn in atypical ways, it becomes essential to let go of any formal educational expectations we may have had for children.

The good news is, once we let go, our children are free to learn in the ways that work best for their unique needs.

2. Social Expectations

Neurotypical kiddos have a way of upending our social expectations as well. Friendships often look much different for our children than we imagined. In fact, many atypical kids find peers that are much younger or much older to be better fits.

For one of my children, one of the best social relationships was an older mentor-type figure.

Letting go of preconceived notions of what a social life looks like for our children takes the pressure off of us and allows our kids to thrive in relationships that make sense for their needs.

3. Parenting Expectations

You may let things slide that other parents would never dream of letting their kids “get away with.” 

Read that again. 

You may find that you allow more screen time, books to be read, language that you never imagined being a part of your dinner conversation, and have so many more parenting expectations completely upended than you ever expected.

I am here to encourage you be okay with that. Let go of the guilt or fear that comes from comparing ourselves to other parents, and instead create boundaries and rules in your family that make sense for your particular children.

4. Nutritional Expectations

Restricted or obsessive eating is often a part of the puzzle that we are putting together in an effort to support our children. This means that nutritional expectations might look completely different for your family.

My friend Shawna used to allow her son, who had extremely restricted eating due to sensory issues, have ice cream in the morning before school. It gave him a little bit of protein, calmed down the flight or fight he experienced each meal time, and made the day progress more smoothly. On more than one occasion, she was accused of spoiling him.

He turned out just fine – healthy and eventually, able to handle a more traditional breakfast. She has no regrets.

5. Personal Expectations

This one can be the most difficult of all. The truth is, many of our children simply require more care. This means less time for our own pursuits and relaxation.

I want to encourage you to do what you can, when you can, and remember that you are a person too! Your health and care matters just as much as your child’s. After all, you are their parent. 

They need you to be healthy and happy.

So remember, when you’re melting down on Tuesday of your second week of school — and then again every few weeks all year long — you’re not alone.

Parenting and homeschooling neurodiverse kids is tough. You’ve got this, friend. I promise.

What’s Your Child’s Learning Style? Take Jamie’s new quiz now and set yourself up for homeschooling success by understanding the way they learn best!

Originally published on September 20, 2022.

Planning a High School Homeschool Year for a Teen with Learning Differences – by Erin Vincent of Nourishing My Scholar

Summer is in full swing, meaning ice cream cones, s’mores, campfires, sleeping under the stars, and planning for the upcoming school year. It seems like we finished our school year only last week, but I am, diligently plodding through curriculum ideas, books, and videos. Jotting down notes and objectives.

I actually enjoy the planning stages of homeschooling high school. As new books and planners arrive, things always seem fresh and full of unique purpose. There’s nothing I love more than getting new books! Unless, of course, it’s used books!

So, how am I planning high school for a kiddo with learning differences such as ADHD, Dysgraphia, and slow processing speed, to name a few? A teen with learning challenges sometimes requires a different approach to school.

Planning a High School Homeschool Year

I start by looking at what has worked in the past. Eleven years ago, we started homeschooling, and I had no idea what worked. But now I’ve got some inclinations.

I get my son in on the planning process. After all, it’s his education. He’s requested more books this year and to study Ancient History.

Think about how your children learn best. For my upcoming sophomore, that means books, videos, audiobooks, and hands-on activities.

What didn’t work? Writing is the bane of his existence. What assistive technology can be used to help?

Consider all these thoughts and others more specific to your teen’s needs as you plan your next school year and make it what you and your teen want it to be.

Setting Goals and Priorities

Next, set the goals and priorities based on what may or may not be required by your state or umbrella school, or maybe you have no regulations, and mom gets to decide what everything looks like.

We are planning my son’s high school year and are looking at the credits needed to graduate per our umbrella school.

Here’s what that looks like so far for my out-of-the-box sophomore:

• English II with a selection of books he and I have decided on, along with WriteShop I & II. We spent one day reading the synopsis of over 30 books to help us narrow down to 10 we felt were a good fit.
• Geometry with Denison Success Geometry because Denison Success Algebra worked so well for him last year. This kid struggles with attention and math, so the Success version works best for him.
• Italian I with a tutor on Outschool, helping craft an Italian course specific to my son’s needs, along with short videos and Duolingo as a supplement. This Outschool tutor has previously offered Italian courses, and my son adored them. I reached out to her and told her about what we needed. She recommends the Ciao Italian book (afflink) to go along with his tutoring with her.
• Biology with a standard Holt biology textbook, four living science books on audible, Crash Course videos, teachers pay teachers worksheets to coincide with the Crash Course videos, and Kristin Moon’s self-paced biology lab videos. We will also incorporate hands-on activities as needed.
• History with a collection of prehistory and ancient history encyclopedias, living books, plus hands-on activities.
• Home Economics – My son wants to learn more about cooking, sewing a button onto his shirt, mending a sock, etc. So, we are going to explore all things home ec this year!
• P.E. with Taekwondo five nights per week. He’s been taking Taekwondo for two years and only has one year left before he tests for his blackbelt!

Don’t forget as you start planning your homeschool year to use what you already have on hand when possible!

Eek, I know; the new curriculum sounds so much better and is so pretty. But there is something to be said for using books and curriculum that you already have. I have several encyclopedias on ancient history that we’ll re-use. There are several others I would like, but this saves me time and money.

Remember to be flexible and pivot when need be. Even as he ages, a multisensory approach has been critical for my teen.

Yes, he did create a Lego model of an animal cell last week. I find that various options for each subject work better than having a single curriculum straight out of the box.

When it comes to planning a high school homeschool year, learning differences are not a one size fits all, and neither are the ways in which we should approach them.

Do what works best for your family and your out-of-the-box teen. Get them in on the planning process and watch as you both come together to create a dynamic team and a memorable homeschool year!

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your type needs most!

How hard do I push my hesitant child? ~ Written by Kari Patterson

As I typed this title tears sprang to my eyes. Wow, what a journey it’s been.

If I had to sum up what it’s been like the last 16 years with an Asperger’s child, this question is what comes to mind. How hard do I push my hesitant child? I’ve erred on both sides of pushing — too much, not enough — at times, so I write this not as someone who’s nailed it, but as someone who’s experimented a lot and has a few thoughts to share.

I remember when Dutch was a toddler we joked that his favorite thing to do was whatever he was already doing. It didn’t matter what, he just didn’t want to do something else. Even now, we joke that he’s a bit of a hobbit — he loves home, favorite foods, familiar comforts, he even has wide, flat feet.

Years ago I talked to a seasoned mom who had raised an Asperger’s son. She said she would’ve pushed him a little more to try new things like sending him into the store by himself to buy milk. Her son is grown and thriving, so obviously it wasn’t detrimental to his development, but I appreciate her honest reflection.

I’ve constantly felt this tension. The very thing I love about homeschooling is the gentle, unhurried pace. But I also love that it affords me the freedom to do whatever is best for my unique child, and some children do indeed need a little nudge.

How hard do I push my hesitant child?

Let’s look at three questions to help guide: To push or not to push?

1. Is my own unhealthy fear motivating this push?

There is healthy fear, of course: Will I overindulge his timid tendencies in such a way that he’ll be unprepared for real life? Will I push too hard in such a way that he’s scarred and therefore equally unprepared for real life?

I think a touch of that is healthy. We recognize the weight of our responsibility as parents. We’re not flippant.

Unhealthy fears come into play when we’re worrying about what other people think,  trying to make our children into something that satisfies our own egos, constantly trying to keep up with so-and-so’s kids, and thinking our children’s performance is some sort of report card that proves we’re doing well as homeschool parents.

 The question is: What’s best for him?

2. Is it something in line with how he or she is already wired? 

I see healthy parental pushing as the strategic placement of pressure in order to empower a child to do what you’re pretty sure they’ll end up loving. Of course “pretty sure” is the key. This whole parenting thing is a risk from start to finish. 

Over the years we’ve watched Dutch closely and tried to nudge his natural gifts. Piano and baseball were early ones that we thought he’d love. Alas, he did not.

When he was young I made him go outside every single day for a nature walk, Charlotte Mason style, and he hated it. But at 12 we enrolled him in a school for homeschool teens, which was a huge step as he’d never learned away from home. He LOVED it and is still going strong. 

This year we encouraged him to run Cross-Country at our local high school. This was a huge stretch for him, and at first he decided he didn’t want to, but the coach wrote him an email that inspired him, he agreed to run and ended up loving it.  Now he’s running track as well and plans to do both through his high school career.

He’s looking forward to college and handles most new situations with confidence. 

3. Am I willing to stay close when he struggles through the push? 

Helping a reluctant child try something new requires a lot of us as parents. Honestly, it’s often easier not to try the new thing, whatever it is. Just last week there were two separate instances where I needed to push our older two kids a bit. It meant a significant time commitment for me in both situations.

As a parent, I need to be ready to absorb the time and emotional cost of being beside them and helping them navigate that hard thing.

In my instance, it was so worth it! They both passed the “test” of the situation with flying colors and felt more confident and encouraged as a result of doing the hard thing.

Oh friends, I’ve done this poorly so many times. But I’m also so grateful for the times these nudges have been exactly what our kids have needed. You may not like the word push. Feel free to term it however you’re comfortable — a nudge, a strong encouragement, a joyful steady force.

Whatever we call it, let’s help our hesitant children be all they can be!

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your type needs most!

6 Tips for Success When Homeschooling a Child With ADHD
~ Written by Colleen Kessler from Raising Lifelong Learners

Homeschooling a child with ADHD (Attention Deficit-Hyperactivity Disorder) can be difficult, heartbreaking, and lonely:

“I just don’t think our group is the best fit for your family. If you want to consider leaving [your oldest] at home and just coming with the younger kids, we’d love to have you. Otherwise, I think it’s best if you found a new homeschool group.”

Mine wasn’t a bad kid, nor did he act out at these meet-ups. It was a field trip and homeschool PLAY group, for goodness sake!

He was simply immature, impulsive, and often lacked a filter.

So when the world seems to be against our kids (and us) when we’re living with and homeschooling a child with ADHD, what can we do?

Here are 6 tips for success when homeschooling a child with ADHD:

1. Focus on the Positive

It’s easy to think of ADHD as a negative — the terms deficit and disorder denote that, after all. But, it’s important to remember that there are MANY positives to ADHD.

These include such traits as:

• Creativity
• Sensitivity, including empathy for others
• Keen observation of one’s environment
• Deep emotions
• Perceptivity
• Imagination
• Curiosity
• Inventiveness
• Spontaneity
• Proficiency in sports and athletics
• Passion
• Resilience
• Charisma

I just love the passion, intensity, and fervor with which my ADHD son approaches the world. Life around here would be pretty dull without him.

2. Try Therapy

Too often we think of family or child therapy as an admission of failure when, in reality, it’s a sign of bravery.

A good psychologist, counselor, or therapist can help your family find the tools they need to grow and mature together as you help your child develop self-regulation skills.

And when everyone is in on the therapy, you’re all on the same page with what’s going on and how to handle things.

3. Create Consistent Routines

Children with ADHD need routine more than other kids. It’s comforting when things are predictable.

They don’t need a rigid schedule, but having a predictable routine can foster a sense of security in a kiddo with ADHD, who is often very sensitive to changes in his or her environment.

Simple things like knowing that chores come after breakfast and math comes after chores, then the family gathers for some time to work on projects together while having a snack, can make all the difference in an ADHD kiddo’s day.

4. Identify the Good Behaviors

Sometimes it feels like I’ve corrected my ADHD kiddo about a hundred times before I’ve even had my first sip of coffee in the morning.

If it’s frustrating for me, can you even imagine how it feels for him?

Psychologists estimate that it takes between seven and ten positive interactions to offset one negative interaction in our brains so with our kids with ADHD, we need to be extra aware of how we talk to them.

It’s important to look for the good things they’re doing and saying and tell them what we’re seeing.

5. Avoid Blame

Resist the temptation to beat yourself up about your child’s ADHD or blame other family members. Think about it this way: God doesn’t make mistakes. Your child is yours for a reason.

Perhaps that reason is that you are the perfect parent to understand and help him with his ADHD.

Neurodiversities just are. They’re not something anyone caused, they’re just how our kids’ brains are wired.

6. Find Your People

In addition to therapy, it helps to find a support group for families with ADHD and otherwise neurodiverse homeschooled children. You can get ideas from other parents and share your own breakthroughs and challenges.

In a world where ADHD is thought to be just a discipline issue, families get stressed when they constantly feel misunderstood.

Support groups can help. There are many online groups for families with quirky and neurodiverse kiddos. Some of our favorites are Raising Poppies (on FB), Homeschooling Poppies (on FB), and the Learner’s Lab (a paid membership community for parents AND kids).

Remember, no matter what others think, even if they ask you and your kids to leave a group because it’s “not a fit” for them or you, your kids are perfectly and wonderfully made.

They are who they are and how they are for a purpose. Look for the good, build them up, and be confident that you are the perfect parent for your perfect kiddo.

You’re not alone in this journey. I promise.

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

Once I Was a Homeschool Influencer ~
Written by Jamie C. Martin of Simple Homeschool and Introverted Moms

Once upon a time I was a homeschool influencer.

I wrote posts that were often shared by thousands, sometimes by tens or hundreds of thousands. This probably won’t be one of them.

Prefer to listen instead?

Those posts, written about a decade ago, described a new (to us) way to educate, one that revolved around home. Books, cooking, nature, family.

As a mom with young kids, I discovered this lifestyle right alongside my readers. I shared not as an expert, but a fellow sojourner.

Together we found that learning didn’t always have to look like school, that even the path to reading fluency could be less painful, more holistic. Some children wouldn’t even need to be taught to read, the research suggested, but would learn on their own or with minimal help.

Those words were a lifeline. After all, learning to read is the starting line of the home education marathon, one early proof that you’re not ruining your children.

For two of my kids, the research proved true. But for my youngest, with a long list of adoption-related special needs, it hasn’t.

I’ve been actively teaching this child to read for NINE years. My son, who just turned 17, is still not a fluent reader. He may never be.

At this point the research goes silent. These aren’t the kind of posts that go viral, I can assure you. We won’t be posing as the poster family for homeschooling success anytime soon.

Yet if I could go back, the only thing I’d really change are my expectations.

The philosophy of relationship-centered homeschooling holds up, because it’s virtually the same for a child of any ability, whether they’re headed to Harvard or Home Depot.

It’s one of unconditional love and lifelong support, and how can that ever steer you wrong?

As parents we don’t call the shots, can’t determine outcomes. We sacrifice, day by day, year after year. We believe our unseen efforts will bear fruit, even when we can’t currently see any.

It may not make us glamorous or enviable influencers, but it will make us humble and faithful.

Maybe that’s the exact fruit God intended all along.

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

Homeschooling a Twice Exceptional Child? What You Should Know ~
Written by Colleen Kessler of Raising Lifelong Learners

My homeschool doesn’t look much like anyone else’s I know.

It used to bother me a bit. Even as a gifted specialist who worked in gifted classrooms for years, I wasn’t prepared for how my own children’s giftedness would also include other diagnoses and challenges that make our homeschool an entirely different venture.

Homeschooling a twice exceptional child can be equal parts challenging and rewarding. Here’s why.

What Does Twice Exceptional Mean?

The term “twice exceptional” is used specifically in the context of education. The National Association For Gifted Children provides this overview:

“What’s not often well-known or well-understood is that students who are gifted may also have a special need or disability— just as students with disabilities may also be gifted. The term “twice-exceptional,” also referred to as “2e,” is used to describe gifted children who, have the characteristics of gifted students with the potential for high achievement and give evidence of one or more disabilities as defined by federal or state eligibility criteria. These disabilities may include specific learning disabilities (SpLD), speech and language disorders, emotional/behavioral disorders, physical disabilities, autism spectrum, or other impairments such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).”

Because of the disparity between a child’s potential for high achievement and the area of disability, a learner might be completely advanced in one subject and three years behind in another.

They may be intellectually capable of solving complex physics problems, but struggle with the social skills required on the playground. This “asynchrony” is often the hallmark of gifted and twice exceptional learning.

What It’s Really Like To Homeschool A Twice Exceptional Child

Based on this description, it seems like a given that our homeschool will necessarily flex according to my children’s asynchronous needs.

Our days often look like a jumbled mess of projects, social emotional learning, advanced math, and just about everything in between.

For example, this morning, my youngest decided to create his own game board. His big sister got involved as well while I encouraged (ahem) my older daughter to get going on her math. Later, all three of us hopped in the car for piano and voice lessons.

When I say we “hopped in the car” what I mean is we spent ten minutes finding and getting shoes on. Then it was another ten minutes helping one managing anxiety around the lesson.

For my twice exceptional homeschool, this all “counts” as education.

How Homeschooling Can Help Your Twice Exceptional Child

Children who are considered twice exceptional often struggle in traditional school environments. Although I worked with many wonderful and successful twice exceptional learners in my time in the classroom, I have come to believe that homeschooling is one of the best possible educational options for gifted and twice exceptional children.

Because their superior intellect can often mask their disabilities, their coping strategies and overall boredom can look more like the class clown creating chaos, or a “lazy” student avoiding his work.

In our homeschool setting, this is a non-issue. I know my children’s areas of giftedness and I know the challenges they face. All are equally important and a part of our learning.

I have a musically gifted child who spends time in and out of performances and music lessons. This giftedness is nurtured with time and exposure that would never be possible in a traditional school day.

By the same token, this child also struggles with intense sensory issues and anxiety. We fold hands-on sensory activities into most days. We have also devoted a significant amount of time to therapy and discussion around coping strategies to decrease anxiety.

Again, this level of time and attention to areas of struggle would not be possible in the confines of a traditional school day.

Homeschooling allows for a seamless emphasis on both the gifted areas of strength, and the focused attention on strengthening areas of concern. While I think this is true for all children, I believe it to be exponentially true for my kiddos and others like them.

If you are homeschooling a child with twice exceptionalities, I know it can be tough sometimes (especially wondering if school might somehow “do it better”).

Please, let me say, as someone who has been both in the school system and homeschooling side of education twice exceptional children, I wholeheartedly believe that homeschooling is the right choice to help your child learn.

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

4 things that have helped us homeschool a child with Asperger’s
~ Written by Kari Patterson of Sacred Mundane

It’s been almost six years since I last shared about our adventure with Asperger’s — so much has changed!

This December Dutch turned 14, and I marveled as I watched him joyfully interact with a great group of friends, playing games around the dining room table (see pic above). Poetically, it was at a playdate with these same kids, seven years earlier, when his struggles surfaced in such a way that we realized he had Asperger’s syndrome.

Now, as I watched him, it was hard to believe this was the same kid who seven years ago was so overwhelmed that he thrashed in my arms and cried out that he couldn’t make his brain work.

He is truly transformed in so many ways, so I’d love to share a bit of our story and four things that have helped us along the way.

4 things that have helped us homeschool a child with Asperger’s

1. Be his advocate without making excuses

No matter what quirk or diagnoses your child has, you know him best. Yes, we can learn from books, podcasts, therapists, experts. Absolutely! But at the end of the day, you know that look he gets when he’s feeling scared. You know that thing he does with his hands when he’s trying to calm himself down. You know why he carries that certain item everywhere he goes. You know how that seemingly innocent situation causes him to panic, or shut down, or act out.

I remember a Sunday School situation where after church I found Dutch huddled in the corner, red-faced, angry and sobbing, crying, “They’re mocking me! They’re mocking me!”

He said he never wanted to come to church again. I knew the teacher and the children and couldn’t imagine them mocking him, so I tried to learn more about the situation.

I learned that he had not wanted to play a certain game they were playing (common), and so they’d sung a song about him (at him) to get him to play. It was meant to be humorous, but children with Asperger’s have a hard time picking up on sarcasm, or understanding well-intended joking. In his little brain his teacher and the entire classroom were singing in unison to make fun of him. Of course that was not the intent, but knowing how Dutch’s brain works helped me to enter into the situation and be his advocate. No one else knows our children like we do, so no one is better able to advocate for them.

That said, I have tried to never use Asperger’s as an excuse for misbehavior. When Dutch was eight he was very disrespectful and disobedient and I found myself making excuses for him. I met with a mature mom and educator and asked for her advice. She was kind, but firm, as she said,

“The standard is the same, you will just have to work harder to reach it. He will still need to be obedient and respectful. You can be empathetic but you cannot allow Asperger’s to be an excuse for poor behavior.”

2. Celebrate his “trait” and give him examples to follow

When Dutch was seven we sat him down and explained what we’d discovered. We told him about a special “trait” (we didn’t call it a syndrome or disorder) he had, called Asperger’s, that many great people in history probably had (though it wasn’t named yet). We talked about Einstein, Benjamin Franklin, Mozart, even Bill Gates.

We explained that because he had this trait some things were going to be much easier for him, and some things were going to be much harder.

I told him some of the ways that his brain was special and strong, and some of the ways that he might struggle. Then we affirmed that we were committed to helping him, loving him, teaching him, training him, doing whatever was needed to help him succeed as a boy with Asperger’s.

Then we never mentioned it again.

Of course we read, we learned, we prayed, but we just wanted him to be a uniquely gifted kid without worrying about labels.

As he grew, we also tried to give him examples of godly, well-adjusted people with Asperger’s. Several years ago my husband Jeff began listening to Brant Hansen (who has Asperger’s) with Dutch. Dutch LOVED him. So we bought him Brant’s books. Blessed Are the Misfits was profoundly impacting and helped Dutch understand himself in the context of church and even his relationship with God.

Interestingly, this year of restrictions (due to COVID) has actually been a blessing in disguise for Dutch as we adopted a House Church model. He gets less overwhelmed (no crowds, no loud amplification) and the format lends itself to frank, deep  discussion with people he knows (his fav) rather than surface-level small talk (he loathes).

3. Let him lead when it comes to learning about himself

One day this year I was standing in the kitchen, and Dutch was hunched over his computer, intent on something, for quite awhile. Occasionally, he would ask me questions about himself: “Do you think I get easily overwhelmed in crowds?” Or, “Do you think it’s hard for me to pick up on sarcasm?” I answered his questions, and after awhile he finished his task and announced with a huge smile,

“Guess what? I think I have Asperger’s!”

I laughed to myself because of course we had told him he had Asperger’s 7 years ago, but apparently he didn’t remember that! This was hilarious to me!

We had not mentioned it all these years, but just from him following, listening to, and reading material by Brant Hansen, he was able to identify many of the same qualities in himself. I loved that he took it upon himself to take a diagnostic quiz, and that he saw the results as such a positive thing, because it made him that much more similar to his hero Brant.

I think we can all identify with this. Most of us enjoy taking personality tests or learning more about our uniqueness, when we initiate the interest. But most of us don’t like being labeled or diagnosed by others. Seems reasonable that kids are the same.

4. Choose stresses carefully 

We didn’t want to coddle Dutch and make the world revolve around him, since that isn’t how real life works. I had even read once that since a church setting can be particularly stressful for children with Asperger’s that parents shouldn’t make these children attend church. I respectfully disagree.

However, I learned the hard way we needed to choose his stresses carefully. That is, making him do baseball practice, a baseball game, piano lessons, a playdate, a trip to Costco AND church all in one week was a disaster.

For us, church is a non-negotiable and so are close friendships, so the answer was to ditch baseball and piano (which he disliked anyway). Admittedly, a part of me felt like a failure that my child wasn’t doing any extra-curriculars, but removing those two things brought him back into balance.

Life has stress. That’s inevitable. All of us introverts know that there are situations that are stressful but still worth doing. So we try to choose those stresses carefully.

Now, at 14, Dutch is an absolute delight to our family. He patiently counsels his sister when she’s anxious. He helps her with math. He plays with and babysits his toddler brother for hours. When our baby was born this fall Dutch would hold him for hours and soothe him when he was fussy. He constantly helps me around the house, he carries in the groceries, he’s like having another full-grown man around the house! I just never dreamed that the struggling little boy thrashing in my arms would become a confident, capable young man. We still have a lot of room for growth, but I thank God for all He has done so far.

So, if you ever want to talk more about homeschooling a child with Asperger’s, please reach out! I’m certainly no expert, but I can empathize. I’ve cried more over this kid than the others combined!

Are you also walking this same journey –  to homeschool a child with Asperger’s? What has helped you along the way? What has been most challenging? Let’s encourage each other!

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

ADD teen struggles and how you can help ~
Written by Kris Bales of Weird, Unsocialized Homeschoolers.

I used to joke (except it wasn’t entirely a joke) that my job in our early years of homeschooling was to hover near my oldest and say, “Do your work” every few seconds.

Having a child (or two) who struggles with attention and focus can be challenging, particularly as they move into the middle and high school years. The teen years are when most of us hope to start seeing our students transition to independent learners, but that can be difficult for kids who have trouble staying on task.

Many areas can be affected by difficulty focusing. I won’t say that the following are the main areas because that can vary significantly from child to child, but these are areas of struggle that I’ve seen in my kids. They are also areas that I’ve had other parents of ADD or just hard-to-focus kids ask me about.

ADD Teen Struggles and How You Can Help

Managing Time

Time management is often a huge area of struggle for teens (and adults!) who have trouble staying focused on tasks. Try these tips to help.

Limit distractions.

Have teens leave their cell phone in a specific spot away from where they’re working or turn it on do not disturb. If they’re working on a laptop, turn off notifications and try a browser add-on to block social media sites during school hours.

Don’t let teens have TV or videos playing while they work. Don’t limit music, though. Many teens work better with music. I like the Coffitivity site for ambient background noise. You might also try a white noise machine.

Give them a planner.

Make sure teens have their own planners (or a checklist) so that they can see what needs to be done each day and mark off assignments as they go.

Help them break down long-term assignments into manageable chunks and add due dates for each step in their planner.

You might also try a shared Google calendar for extra accountability.

Whichever option you choose, plan a daily or weekly meeting time to be sure that your student is completing tasks before they get so far behind that they’re overwhelmed.

Try visual planning aids.

My oldest used our version of workboxes all the way through high school. We used a plastic crate and hanging file folders to help her track her work.

Each folder held one subject. My teen could arrange the folders in the order she wanted to complete the assignments each day, giving her an easy-to-track visual reminder of what she had finished and what she had left to do.

Getting Thoughts on Paper

Getting their thoughts on paper can be laborious for teens with ADD. These kids are often highly creative, but their creativity often gets lost in the writing process.

Try these ideas.

Use voice-to-text software.

Dragon NaturallySpeaking is a fairly intuitive, easy-to-use voice-to-text software option. Writing time can also be the ideal time to make an exception to the smartphone ban. Most smartphones feature voice-to-text software that users can access inside other apps, such as a notes or word processing app (Google Docs or Word, for example).

Even if they don’t use the voice-to-text feature, my teens text amazingly fast (and without looking at the screen – how do they do that?!). Who says that a paper has to be handwritten or typed on a computer keyboard? If your teens text like mine, let them put that somewhat questionable skill to good use.

Be their scribe.

It’s okay to let your teen dictate his writing assignments to you. Type or write her words or ideas. Then, let her edit and write the final copy.

Taking Tests

Many kids with ADD or focus issues don’t test well. Tests often don’t provide an accurate, fair assessment of a student’s understanding or ability. Try alternatives to traditional pen-and-paper tests.

Try narration.

Let your student orally answer questions or tell you what he’s learned in his own words. Ask him to tell you what he knows about a person or to describe an event.

Put together a presentation.

Let your student put together an end-of-unit or topical presentation demonstrating what she’s learned. She can give the presentation to you and her siblings, grandparents, and/or the non-teaching parent.

Alternately, you can get the students in your homeschool group together for a whole evening of presentations. (This is a great way to work on public-speaking skills, too.)

Make the most of audio-visual tools.

My kids are much more comfortable on camera than I am. They love making videos. If your kids do, too, let them put together a video presentation of what they’ve learned.

Or write a blog post about it. Or use publishing software to create a slideshow, photo software to create a photo journal, or craft and scrapbooking supplies to put together a notebook.

What ways have you found to help your teens focus?

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!