Are homeschooled kids weird?
~ Written by Sarah Small

Admit it. Somewhere deep in your heart, you’ve wondered, especially if you’ve ever heard someone say, “I know a homeschooling family at my church. Those kids are weird!”

Prefer to listen instead? Look for Episode 86 of the podcast!

Haven’t we all asked ourselves: Are homeschooled kids weird? Will my kids be weird?

Weird. Normal. We all have our own definitions. You might say, “I don’t want my kids to be ‘normal’ by today’s standards!” And you might also say, “I don’t want my kid to be labeled as a weirdo!”

But here’s the thing:

All kids are weird.

That’s normal. I mean, when I was a kid—in the privacy of my own home—I stuck black olives on all my fingers and ate them off, one by one. That’s weird, right? Of course I didn’t eat black olives at public school, but if I had, I would not have eaten them off my fingers one by one.

I would have known that was weird because some kid would have announced to the entire cafeteria: “THAT GIRL IS EATING OLIVES OFF HER FINGERS LIKE A WEIRDO!” Even those kids that had a secret desire to emulate me would have shriveled and mocked me. I would have been forever known as Olive Girl.

Here’s what’s different about homeschoolers. At my homeschooling co-op, if one kid were eating black olives off his fingers, I can guarantee that the rest of them would be doing it within seconds. Because weird is good. Weird is normal.

I eat black olives like a “normal” person now, although my husband would argue that no “normal” person even eats olives. But you know what? Without any coaching from me, I swear, my youngest son does this.

Because 99.9% of kids (totally made-up statistic) are innately weird, creative, silly, funny, uninhibited, and terribly clever—if they are allowed to be.

I remember distinctly a day when my firstborn son was in kindergarten in public school. He wanted to wear his kilt and sheepskin vest to school. “Sweetie, you can’t wear a kilt to school,” I told him. I hated to tell him why, but I had to.

“You can only wear your kilt at home. Kids don’t wear kilts to school.”

I squashed his weirdness. I had to, for his sake.

Fast forward several years, when this same kid was 13 and had been homeschooled since we pulled him out of public school after first grade. One day we found, stuffed in the back of a closet, a llama-hair poncho that my husband once brought back from South America.

My son was ecstatic! For months he wore that poncho everywhere, including our homeschooling co-op. He also wore John Lennon-type sunglasses and t-shirts with ties.

And yep, I’m sure the kids thought he was weird. But they didn’t care because they were weird, too.

My son has graduated college now. I asked him recently what some of the best aspects about homeschooling were. One of the things he said was this:

“I had the chance to be a quirky, weird, and creative kid without intense ridicule. I was then able to develop that all into socially acceptable quirkiness as a college student.”

“Socially acceptable quirkiness” usually translates to “outside-the-box” thinking. What is one of the top qualities that employers in most fields look for in employees? Innovation and creativity—outside-the-box thinkers.

Childhood weirdos.

Homeschooling allows kids to be weird when it’s okay to be weird.

As your kids get older, chances are they will learn to corral their quirks and develop into creative young adults who refuse to accept mediocrity and challenge the status quo.

I think we need more weirdos in our world.

So ‘fess up. Have you ever wondered it, too: Are homeschooled kids weird? Do you harbor a secret fear that people will think your kids are weird?

* Read more of Sarah’s homeschooling tips and stories from over the years

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

SH #106: The “S” Word: Socialization ~
Written by Jamie C. Martin of Simple Homeschool and Introverted Moms

Welcome back to a new episode of the Simple Homeschool podcast! This year I’m doing a special podcast series with my 18-year-old son Jonathan: “Reflections from a Homeschool Graduate.”

Jonathan was homeschooled from K-12th grade so he has a unique perspective, and guess what one of the most-submitted questions for him to answer has been?

That’s right – in this episode we’re talking THE “S” word: Socialization!

The “S” Word: Socialization

In Episode 106, you’ll hear us answer these questions: 

• Where do you make friends?
• Did you ever feel like it was difficult to find common ground to connect with peers about?
• Do you feel like you get along well with other homeschoolers?
• Do you feel you get along with your peers in general?

Click here to stream/download Episode 106! Find it wherever you listen to podcasts and subscribe so you’ll be notified when we release another episode in a couple of weeks.

Links and Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

• This episode is NOT sponsored by Stew Leonards (listen in for more context LOL), but IS sponsored by My Fun Science and Sonlight!
• Carl Azuz on Sonlight’s YouTube channel
• Why Everyone Wants to Quit Homeschooling in November and February
• Our 2023 Homeschool Day in the Life Series
• Follow Jamie on Instagram and Facebook
• Take my quiz, What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality?

Do you have a homeschooling question for Jonathan or me to answer in an upcoming episode? If so, leave it in a comment on this post or email it to me at jamie@simplehomeschool.net with the subject line “Podcast Question” and we’ll see what we can do!

* Listen to more episodes of the Simple Homeschool podcast here.

* Click here for the auto-generated transcript of this episode.

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

Written by Caitlin Curley of My Little Poppies

For the past six weeks, our homeschool routine has centered around that dreaded s-word: socialization.

In January, our family rescued a puppy. His name is Gryffin and he was born on October 30th in a hospital parking lot adjacent to a major freeway down in Louisiana.

Anyone who has had a puppy before knows that socialization is a priority throughout the entire first year, but particularly during those first six months.

This is especially important for pups like Gryffin, whose mother was fearful due to maltreatment.

And so, for the past six weeks, we have been focused on socialization 24-7.

(As a homeschool mom, I find this focus hilarious. More on that in a minute.)

When socializing a puppy, the goal is to expose the puppy to as many new experiences as possible. Notice I didn’t say that our goal is to expose Griffin to as many new puppies as possible, or as many new people as possible – socialization is so much more than that.

We want him to experience new sights, smells, sounds, places, and events on a daily basis.

This means that we want to expose Gryffin to:

• Children, adults, puppies, and dogs of all shapes, sizes, and ages
• ALL the noises
• Traffic (cars, bicycles, skateboards, strollers, and shopping carts- you name it)
• Car trips
• Visitors
• Trips to the vet
• Visits to pet store
• Parking lots
• Walks on dirt, gravel, sand, and asphalt
• Handling
• Grooming
• Feeding
• The ability to be alone
• Playdates
• Puppy training
• … and so much more!

Our trainer asked my children to take photos of Gryffin doing at least ten new things each day and she joked that the goal is to have one thousand people pat his head every week.

My children are always up for a challenge and they have made it their personal mission to socialize Gryffin. They brainstorm new experiences, plan day trips, and schedule events. They solicit help from strangers and friends.

“Hey, Mum! Can you ask your friends to ring our doorbell when they drive by? So that he gets used to unannounced visitors and UPS deliveries?”

“Hey, Mum! What if we take him to one of the horse trails? So that he’s not afraid when he comes across a horse on our hikes? Oh! And the farm. He needs to get used to farm smells and sounds.”

“Hey, Mum! Can we dog-sit for Ms. Paula? Then Gryff could meet her dogs, cats, and bird. He’d have some new friends!”

“Hey, Mum! Gryffin hasn’t been on sand yet and he’s going to need to walk on the sand this summer. Let’s take him to the lake today and see if he’d like to get his feet wet and dig in the sand!”

Gryffin’s daily calendar is chock-full of excitement and fun.

I kid you not – we have friends ringing our doorbell every day, both planned and completely out-of-the-blue. We have friends’ dogs asking us over for playdates and hikes. When friends see us playing in the driveway, they honk their horns a little louder and a little longer than they normally would.

My children have taught all of their friends how to approach a dog and earn trust. We have spent so much time on the local trails that “strangers” now greet Gryff by name and offer treats when he doesn’t bark at them.

My children delight in Gryffin’s triumphs. Once scared of everything, Gryff now sleeps through dance parties, surround-sound movie nights, sibling squabbles, and the hairdryer. He’s no longer terrified of our humidifier, cars driving by, people wearing hats, Alexa, crossing bridges, trash bags, kites, or … (you get the idea).

The world is Gryffin’s classroom and he is our willing student, happily accompanying us all over New Hampshire.

Our goal is daily variety; no two days are the same. And our job is to support him through these new experiences so that he can be successful. We want him to be self-confident. We want him to connect with others-  fur-friends and human, young and old. We want him to delight in new experiences and overcome obstacles.

Our goal is to raise a dog who will one day be a calm, loving, and well-mannered member of our family and the world at large.

Photo by Manuel Ingle

I know we are completely immersed in puppyhood, but does all of this sound like anything to you?

According to Dictionary.com, the word socialization means:

Homeschool lessons learned at public school ~
Written by Shawna Wingert of Not the Former Things.

In what can only be described as a surreal moment, I found myself signing documents to enroll my son in public school last month.

I love homeschooling.

My sons love homeschooling.

I write all about how much homeschooling has made a tremendous impact on my sons’ education, despite their learning differences. The longer we homeschool, the more I can imagine us continuing to do it all the way through high school.

So it took a lot to sign those documents. But it was worth it.

The school program was through the hospital my son had been admitted to only a week prior, for serious medical complications. Because he required ongoing care and evaluation, this program was an excellent option. Nursing staff, therapists and teachers alike provided ongoing care each day.

My son was officially in public school for two weeks.

And I learned so very much.

Granted, this classroom scenario deviated dramatically from a “typical class.” It functioned more like a self-contained, special education classroom. And the truth is, many of the children in this class likely qualified for special education through their local schools.

It was a great experience for my son and for me, to get a little taste of what a classroom might be like for him. It was great to see what he enjoyed and excelled in. It was helpful to see where he struggled.

Mostly, what amazed me was how similar this program was to what we have already been doing at home.

You read that right – there were more similarities than there were differences.

Homeschool Lessons Learned at Public School

Here’s what I learned from the two weeks my son spent in a public special education classroom:

Adult-to-student ratio matters

In this classroom there were many adults, from different specialties, all working together to help the children learn in the best way possible. The ratio was actually close to 1:1 if you counted all the nurses, therapists, and aides.

The children had individualized attention and it seemed to work very well. In fact, some of the other children, not accustomed to having someone to help them through transitions or difficult subjects, said they would like to just go to school at the hospital from now on.

I was impressed, and also more conscious of how much the individualized attention our children receive at home every single day, makes a difference in their levels of anxiety, understanding and overall learning.

It ALL counts

My son was technically in the hospital school program from 7:30 a.m. – 2:30 p.m. each day. I was hesitant about this at first, as the time I designate to schooling at home is not seven hours, even accounting for lunch and breaks.

Then, I saw the schedule.

It included two 45 minute outdoor time-frames each day for “Recreational Therapy.” There was “Occupational Therapy” for an hour and a half each day. This included activities like making candles, creating dioramas, sewing pillows, and stamping leather.

Each week, there was an hour devoted to “art therapy” and another hour for “cooking.”

After breaks, daily morning time, and lunch, the time devoted to actual sitting at a desk and completing academic work was about 2.5 hours spread out over the course of the day.

Sound familiar? It does to me. That’s almost exactly what I would report for each activity on average in our home.

Socialization cannot be prescribed

This is the area that surprised me the most, although I am not sure why. My son was the only homeschooled child in this classroom. The assumption on the part of the teachers and therapists, and if I am being honest, me, was that he might struggle a bit with the social requirements of being in the classroom.

The exact opposite was true. Despite having a couple of diagnoses that actually make social interactions stressful and confusing for my son, he was clearly the one most capable socially.

He got along well with all the children, tried to help another little boy when he struggled, interacted well with the adults, showed his great sense of humor, made a close friend, and was easily able to follow all the rules for classroom structure.

A lack of socialization is a pervasive myth, I think, about homeschooling. But having a child diagnosed with social differences, means an increased need for me to answer questions about how my child will ever be able to interact well with others.

I am asked to account for this in doctor and therapist appointments all the time. It was incredibly encouraging to see that our efforts at home are making a difference in his social ability.

Teachers often support homeschooling too

The staff that worked directly with my son had nothing but great things to say about our decision to homeschool. They too, could see the benefits for my son. They too, saw the differences in him, even in a classroom setting (the unquestioned standard for childhood socialization).

There was, however, a meeting I attended at the very end of my son’s time in the program, with a doctor who did not interact much with my son. As I sat across from him, he looked through the stack of medical and educational reports in my son’s case file. Smiling, he looked up and said,

“It looks like your son is doing very well, despite being homeschooled.”

I felt a flood of emotion. Part of me understood that he meant it as a compliment, and I wanted to take it as such. But I couldn’t. “Despite being homeschooled???” I thought.  I took a breath, and then carefully responded:

“I would say it’s possible that he is doing very well because he is homeschooled.”

I’m so grateful I had the chance to glimpse the other side.

And if you are homeschooling a child, especially one with learning differences and special needs, take heart. I want to encourage you that what we are doing at home, is no different than what the experts believe to be best for our children:

• One on one attention
• Time outside to exercise and play
• Art, hands-on activities, and real life skills

We do this at home, and feel guilty that it isn’t a math worksheet. Teachers do it, and it is respected as in integral part of education.

Maybe, like me, you question if you are doing enough, if your child’s needs trump your own intuition about homeschooling being the right choice, or if the “experts” might be better equipped to help.

Maybe, like me, you fear you are missing something important.

Maybe, like me, you need to hear that your hard work will pay off.

And maybe, just maybe, your child is doing well, “despite” (because of!) being homeschooled.

Do you ever wonder how your homeschool day would compare to a public school classroom?

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

One of the things I panicked about when we started homeschooling was this loaded word:

Socialization.

I’d heard that homeschooled kids didn’t get enough of it, didn’t know how to do it, were deprived of it, couldn’t assimilate back into school because of a lack of it, and suffered in general because of not doing it properly. It sounded drastic, dreadful, dire.

Our first week of homeschool (with just my daughter at the time) saw me enrolling my girl in Scouts and searching frantically for a homeschooling playgroup. I knew I wanted and needed to homeschool my daughter, but I couldn’t figure out how we wouldn’t be lonely. It was quite terrifying, this concept of isolation I had―my girl stuck in a friendless world with just me for company.

Well, we got lucky. We found a homeschooling group in the second week. The kids (and parents too!) were lovely people―intelligent, thoughtful, considerate, amusing, independent, engaging, articulate, lively, unique people. How fantastic. (And kind of unexpected―weren’t they all supposed to stare at the ground and mumble?)

Photo by Peter & Joyce Grace

At first I would ask these experienced homeschoolers how they dealt with the S-word―and they’d say, “Truly, it’s nothing. It’s a non-issue. You’ll see.”

We began to meet homeschooling families often–we were invited over for tea, to get to know each other better. They introduced us to other people who introduced us to more people. We were welcomed with kindness and generosity.

When my son joined our homeschool, a term later, the embrace was just as warm. The first family of homeschoolers we ever met are now our great friends. The second family, great friends. Family after family, awesome kid after awesome kid―friends. How lucky we are! (And blessed, which I’ve said before and won’t stop saying until someone comes and hits me on the head with a thesaurus).

The kids are busy outside Homeschool Land as well. They see their old school friends often. They have discovered the activities they love, and let go of those they don’t.

My daughter does art class, because she adores art. My son plays in a band and jazz combo, because he loves music. The kids take tennis lessons, because the teacher is fun and friends come too. Once upon a time I would have said, “Here, look! Good, solid examples of socialization!”

Photo by Jinx!

Now I think, “Wow. I love how my kids are having fun.”

And you can be sure the kids aren’t gazing around with satisfaction and saying, “Oh look! We’re socializing!”

To them, they are just playing, and being, and being true to themselves.

I’ve noticed something else as well, something important.

Sometimes we have become too busy.

Sometimes we feel full of seeing people, and actually want to stay home―hang out, just family, together.

We have rainchecked invitations, and not gone on some excursions. We have sometimes chosen each other’s company first, and not seen other people for days.

We love those days at home. We love having hours to finish a project. The kids are best friends and truly almost never argue. We have fun together. We delight in each other. We talk. Just us. It gives us serenity. Those days feel like a gift.

I have seen my children become social, empowered, independent people, outside of the schoolyard. I have seen them like themselves more and more, every day that passes. That is wonderful.

We socialize without caring we’re socializing. In fact, socialization is a complete non-issue, just as my friends told me it was over a year ago.

I actually think socialization (or lack thereof―and all the stigmas and judgements attached) is the greatest fallacy about homeschooling there is. When people use that word to argue against homeschooling now, I think, “Ah, but you don’t know what I know. You haven’t seen what I’ve seen. How I wish you had.”

How satisfying it is, to figure this out. And how lovely, to find we aren’t lonely at all.

How have you navigated the socialization issue in your homeschool?

We’ve all been there.

A well-meaning friend, relative or neighbor nods, smiles–then here it comes: “Homeschooling sounds great, but what about socialization?”

In my article, The Socialization Question, I dive deeply into the subject, but for now, I want to give you some  practical advice on how I’ve learned to answer the inevitable questions.

Homeschooling and Socialization: How to Answer the Socialization Question

1. Find the common ground.

“I’m concerned about it too because socialization is teaching kids how to function well in society.”

2. List the characteristics of a well-socialized person.

“I want my kids to be kind and respectful, hard working, confident, self-motivated, and competent to meet any challenge that comes their way.”

3. Suggest there is more than one way to socialize a child.

“I don’t think spending all day with 30 other kids and one adult is necessarily the best way to accomplish those goals.”

4. Offer examples of how your child is being positively socialized.

“My child enjoys talking to people of all ages.” Classrooms are age-segregated.

“They are learning how to deal with conflict because I am always right there, helping them work through things. A teacher is over-extended and can’t see everything that goes on.”

“My kids are independent thinkers and problem-solvers. They don’t need an adult to tell them how to do everything.”

Classrooms are set up to keep kids quiet, in place, and dependant on the teacher. This one hit home when one of my children was helping life-long public schoolers paint a room. The other kids (ages 15-17) couldn’t spread plastic sheeting without getting detailed instructions from the teacher.

“They are learning to stand up for themselves and not be afraid to express their opinions.” Have an example of something that happened recently.

“They have friends from various backgrounds and are learning how to value those differences.” Mention relationships in the neighborhood, at church, clubs, park district classes, sports teams, etc.

5. The most important thing to say:

“I think the foundation of a well socialized person is a positive self-image. Without that, it is nearly impossible to value others or learn from them. Keeping my kids out of the classroom and all the cruelty dished out by other kids can only help them develop a solid self-esteem.” Few people can argue with this.

I also like to say, “Instead of learning life from other eight-year-olds, my child has an attentive adult (me) available to answer questions and offer feedback 24/7–sort of like a live-in Life Coach.”

What will your friend say to all this?

Let’s hope she has a new appreciation for you and your homeschooling journey.  If not, that’s OK. You’ve stated your case calmly and intelligently, and here’s your chance to model good socialization yourself.

How do you handle the socialization question?