Are homeschooled kids weird?
~ Written by Sarah Small

Admit it. Somewhere deep in your heart, you’ve wondered, especially if you’ve ever heard someone say, “I know a homeschooling family at my church. Those kids are weird!”

Prefer to listen instead? Look for Episode 86 of the podcast!

Haven’t we all asked ourselves: Are homeschooled kids weird? Will my kids be weird?

Weird. Normal. We all have our own definitions. You might say, “I don’t want my kids to be ‘normal’ by today’s standards!” And you might also say, “I don’t want my kid to be labeled as a weirdo!”

But here’s the thing:

All kids are weird.

That’s normal. I mean, when I was a kid—in the privacy of my own home—I stuck black olives on all my fingers and ate them off, one by one. That’s weird, right? Of course I didn’t eat black olives at public school, but if I had, I would not have eaten them off my fingers one by one.

I would have known that was weird because some kid would have announced to the entire cafeteria: “THAT GIRL IS EATING OLIVES OFF HER FINGERS LIKE A WEIRDO!” Even those kids that had a secret desire to emulate me would have shriveled and mocked me. I would have been forever known as Olive Girl.

Here’s what’s different about homeschoolers. At my homeschooling co-op, if one kid were eating black olives off his fingers, I can guarantee that the rest of them would be doing it within seconds. Because weird is good. Weird is normal.

I eat black olives like a “normal” person now, although my husband would argue that no “normal” person even eats olives. But you know what? Without any coaching from me, I swear, my youngest son does this.

Because 99.9% of kids (totally made-up statistic) are innately weird, creative, silly, funny, uninhibited, and terribly clever—if they are allowed to be.

I remember distinctly a day when my firstborn son was in kindergarten in public school. He wanted to wear his kilt and sheepskin vest to school. “Sweetie, you can’t wear a kilt to school,” I told him. I hated to tell him why, but I had to.

“You can only wear your kilt at home. Kids don’t wear kilts to school.”

I squashed his weirdness. I had to, for his sake.

Fast forward several years, when this same kid was 13 and had been homeschooled since we pulled him out of public school after first grade. One day we found, stuffed in the back of a closet, a llama-hair poncho that my husband once brought back from South America.

My son was ecstatic! For months he wore that poncho everywhere, including our homeschooling co-op. He also wore John Lennon-type sunglasses and t-shirts with ties.

And yep, I’m sure the kids thought he was weird. But they didn’t care because they were weird, too.

My son has graduated college now. I asked him recently what some of the best aspects about homeschooling were. One of the things he said was this:

“I had the chance to be a quirky, weird, and creative kid without intense ridicule. I was then able to develop that all into socially acceptable quirkiness as a college student.”

“Socially acceptable quirkiness” usually translates to “outside-the-box” thinking. What is one of the top qualities that employers in most fields look for in employees? Innovation and creativity—outside-the-box thinkers.

Childhood weirdos.

Homeschooling allows kids to be weird when it’s okay to be weird.

As your kids get older, chances are they will learn to corral their quirks and develop into creative young adults who refuse to accept mediocrity and challenge the status quo.

I think we need more weirdos in our world.

So ‘fess up. Have you ever wondered it, too: Are homeschooled kids weird? Do you harbor a secret fear that people will think your kids are weird?

* Read more of Sarah’s homeschooling tips and stories from over the years

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

Finding Daily Awe as We Grow Through Difficult Homeschooling Seasons ~
Written by Debbie Douse of An Adventurous Education

I started the year listening to the clinking of glasses as the nurses and doctors welcomed in 2024, sat by the bedside of my stepdad in intensive care. Next to me was my mother, in the latter stages of dementia, understandably spiralling out of control at the prospect of losing her beloved husband.

Our relationship has never been an easy one.

I prayed beside her and clearly remember hearing the words, “Pace yourself my child. This is going to be a long and difficult journey, but I will be with you.”

This has proven to be true. The last few months have been emotionally painful, as I process grief alongside childhood/adulthood trauma and a new cancer diagnosis for my mum. But God has been there every step of the way, directing my steps. It has been a rough old ride, but these times of phenomenal change have also brought huge personal growth.

Elizabeth Gilbert quotes Jim MacLaren as saying, “Suffering without catharsis is wasted pain.” Unfortunately, though, it has taken a toll on my family. The reality of homeschooling is that no matter how hard you try to hide it, whatever you feel, your kids sense deeply.

Set against this backdrop, we’re in the midst of external exam season in our homeschool. Harry is busy perfecting the art of interesting Spanish conversation for his upcoming oral exam. Rosie, on the other hand, sifts through piles of statistics and social theorists’ perspectives to decide what’s required to write a top-mark essay in her sociology exam.

Maintaining their focus amongst all that’s going on is a learning opportunity, but overwhelming nonetheless.

A Different Focus

Although there is vast growth happening in all directions, we also carry this sense of heaviness in our hearts, pressure on our brains and weight on our shoulders. We need to usher in the light. And what better way to do this than finding daily awe.

Dacher Keltner defines awe as “the feeling of being in the presence of something vast that transcends your understanding of the world.” For me, it’s those humbling moments when you encounter a deep sense of appreciation for the enormity, beauty and magic of the universe.

They’re the wow experiences in life: standing atop a mountain looking down at the world beneath your feet; watching a bumblebee gathering nectar from a foxglove; singing Ave Maria alongside congregation members; an emotively written piece of poetry; walking a new route to the shops; a child’s infectious giggle; or simply witnessing the kindness of others.

Snippets of wonder that anchor you in the present moment. I often find that I experience awe when travelling, but it can be found just as easily from home.

Finding daily awe in our lives can bring enormous health benefits, such as calming down our nervous system, quietening negative self-talk, slowing our heart rate, deepening our breathing and releasing the ‘feel good’ hormone oxytocin.

Our Daily Awe

In this difficult homeschooling season, here are three simple ways we’ve incorporated finding daily awe into our lives:

1. A Sensory Writing Exercise

Not wanting to add too much to their already full schedules, we instead did a simple writing exercise, sat outside in our tree bed (an awe-inspiring place). We imagined what awe felt, looked, tasted, smelled or sounded like for each of us. Here’s my daughter Rosie’s:

2. A Book of Awe 

I bought a beautiful book with the sole purpose of sharing our moments of awe, either a written excerpt or a photo that captures a precious moment.

3. Lunchtime and Bedtime Awe Focus

Lunchtime and bedtime are the two points in the day we’re all together.

So they are the perfect time to ask each other the simple questions: What are you planning to do/have you done to find awe today?

There will always be heavy seasons. But focusing on simple flashes of daily awe brings us sharply into the present and takes us out of our own heads, as we appreciate how small a role we play in this vast universe.

Last week, alongside three friends, I walked a 22-mile pilgrimage from the sea to Canterbury Cathedral.

It was closed when we arrived, but as pilgrims we were allowed inside. Just entering that sacred place with its towering ceilings and long history felt awe-inspiring. Then we were given a blessing.

Holding hands with tears falling, the lady held each of our heads in turn as she prayed over us. That to me was pure awe. Life may be hard, but we never stand alone.

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your type needs most!

I am Brave

I am frozen to the spot; terror fills my every fibre. My feet are jammed into the metal staple on the sheer cliff side, legs shaking, my hands grasping on tight to the staple above.

I dare not look down at my feet. At the acres of nothingness that falls between them and the ground. Instead, I look across.

There, calmly dangling off the mountain ahead is my 14-year-old girl, my precious baby, leaning out and back to help her best friend navigate this tricky section of the Via Ferrata, seemingly without a care in the world.

Knowing my fear of heights, she’d tentatively suggested this adrenaline-fueled activity as a birthday treat, followed swiftly with, “But if it’s too much for you Mummy, we don’t have to do it.”

Now I was somewhat regretting my eagerness to please with the words, “Yes, why not!”

All I could do was focus on my breath. In and out. While I tried to block the repetitive internal dialogue of, “Why, why do you do these crazy things?!”

But, after stretching, scrambling and hoisting ourselves along cliff edges, vertical climbs and an infinity bridge, we finally reached the end.

Rosie threw her arms around me, shouting, “I’m so proud of you Mummy!” I promptly burst into tears.

She is Brave

Fast forward a week and we’re presented with a different moment. Rosie, an acting fanatic, had been offered the opportunity to attend a Youth Creative Convention at the home of Shakespeare, Stratford-Upon-Avon.

The sting: A six-hour round trip on a coach with a group of older teens she’s never met, but who know each other well.

The idea of everyone else having friends, of no-one talking to her for six hours and feeling conspicuously alone nearly overwhelmed her. I left it up to her to decide.

Later, she sidled up to me and courageously said, “Mummy, I’m going to do this. You faced your fears on that mountainside, and you’ve inspired me. So, I am going to be brave too. But I’m going to download some films so that if I’m left alone, I can be happy watching them without feeling like I need to be part of the group.”

In that moment, I stared at my girl in awe – Brave enough to not let fear stand in her way but smart enough to put in a backup strategy!

But I was also floored by this thought: Seeing me brave had given Rosie the fuel to do the same.

On her return, I knew just by looking into her eyes that it had been a success.

The convention was inspiring and the big scary coach turned out to be a small minibus. The other children were unanimously friendly and not knitted into an impenetrable clique as she had dreaded.

She had shown up and faced her fears.

Daily Brave Choices 

Instinctively we all know that as parents, we are our children’s first and biggest role models. Thus, it should follow that we spend time on our own development, growing to become better versions of ourselves.

But how much energy and time do we really spend on this? “Very little,” is my honest answer.

So I’ve started to consciously make a brave choice each day, and share them with Rosie. This has included establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries with certain individuals, a spontaneous solo theatre trip,  facing up to healthy anxiety, and recording my first podcast!

Inspired, she too started her own daily brave journey.

My favourite example of hers is a new evening acting class in London. Travelling there alone on trains, the Tube and through dark streets, she’s stretched both of our brave boundaries to the maximum and come out beaming!

*****

What if being brave is not just about the big adventures we plan for holidays or vacations?

It can also be seen as pushing yourself out of the safe option of doing what you always do, behaving the way you always behave and thinking the way you always think. It’s about stopping and considering a different path.

Is there one tiny brave choice you can make and share with your kids today?

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your type needs most!

Housework and homeschooling.  Those two words don’t always go well together.  While my family does employ a chore chart that has served us for many years, there are also weeks when we’re so busy all we have time to do is “dump and run.”

Afterward, my house can look like it’s been hit by a tornado, stressing my clutter-free-loving soul.

It’s at those times that I may institute a life skills day.

This means my kids are going to get an up-close-and-personal lesson in vacuuming, dusting, laundry, and general housework.

It may sound like a homeschooling cop-out, to some folks, but I’ve found that some pretty valuable lessons can be learned during a life skills day.

1. Household Management

First and foremost, taking time to learn basic housekeeping prepares my kids for the day when they’ll manage their own homes.  Teaching my boy to do laundry and cook?  Yeah, my daughter-in-law is going to love me someday.

Instead of cramming Home Ec into a semester or two when my kids are high school age, they’ll learn important, but often overlooked household management skills over the course of their time at home.

2. Attention to Detail

Sometimes kids – and adults – rush through a job to get to something more fun.  It’s amazing how fast my three can finish housework on life skills days versus other days when I give them an hour to complete assigned chores before we start school.

In the rush to completion, attention to detail may be lacking.  Lucky for my kids, I’m around to inspect their work – and require them to re-do it when it’s sloppy.  They quickly learn that it takes much less time to vacuum the living room properly once than to re-do the job three times.

3. Cooperation

Life lesson:  Your sister might be more willing to pick up her mess in the living room so that you can vacuum, if you gather all your stuff so that she can dust.

Bickering only complicates matters, an observation that may come in handy at the office some day.

Photo by Darwin Bell

4. Perseverance

Cleaning toilets isn’t fun, but the whole bathroom looks better when it’s done.

Doing the hard (or just boring) tasks teaches kids they can enjoy the sense of accomplishment from a job well done even when the job isn’t fun.

5. Organization

Straightening up a seriously cluttered bedroom has to be one of the most intimidating tasks for a child, but it’s great for learning organizational skills.

Sorting Lego pieces, K’nex blocks, and action figures is great practice in categorizing for a younger child.  Not doing so is a valuable lesson in the importance of organization for an older child when he’s looking for missing pieces.

Today it’s Lego blocks and action figures; tomorrow it may be important documents and misplaced, overdue bills.

6. People Skills

Putting three kids to work on a toy-strewn playroom quickly teaches the life-lesson that you’re not always going to get along with the people you work with.  They may not do things the way you like them done or, worse, they may be content to sit back and look busy while you do all the work.

Dealing with siblings who are driving you crazy – but whom you really do love – is great practice for dealing with people who just drive you crazy.  It’s an opportunity to learn diplomacy, tact, negotiation, and conflict resolution.

So, you see, those days we’re tackling a messy house really do have value beyond maintaining Mom’s sanity.

Do you take an occasional life skills day?  What practical lessons do your kids learn?

After two months of a blissful summer vacation, our little school started back into full swing last week. Thanks to several weeks of planning and more than a few book deliveries, I was excited to dive into new subjects and continue this formal exploration of the world with my children.

We were going to expand our horizons, jump into foreign language study, and engage in animated discussions of history, literature, and science. Our homeschool was going to be characterized by a love of learning and the hum of studious industry. My children and I were going to achieve academic greatness this year. My enthusiasm for learning was infectious!

Or so I thought.

By the time lunch break rolled around on that first day, I had been keenly reminded that academics, while important, were not the sole purpose of teaching my children at home.

Motivation? Attitude? Living peacefully with one’s fellow man? I had forgotten to add those subjects to the syllabus.

Character education counts.

As homeschool teachers we have unique challenges that public school teachers don’t often feel, at least not on such a personal level. We have the privilege and responsibility to help our children grow into responsible, diligent, persevering, kind adults. We are not just shaping their minds, we are guiding their characters into adulthood.

Yet, with that added responsibility comes the advantage that we get to see our children’s personalities — warts and all. And all that came flooding back to me on our reentry into formal lessons.

Don’t get me wrong, that first day of school was not bad. In fact, it was probably one of our better days. The boys were extremely excited about their new Spanish and Latin studies.

But, I had mistakenly slid onto one side of the homeschooling continuum, fixating on academics and the content we were going to cover during the year. I left character education woefully unbalanced on the other end.

I had forgotten to think about and plan for those other elements that effect the school day: the child who drags his feet over breakfast, the one who bickers with his brother over whose turn it is to use the computer for math, the student who puffs up his face when Mom says he needs to go do his science and make sure he writes out the entire lab report.

The sighs, the whines, the fussing? Oh yeah.

It’s not all about academics.

Thankfully, I’m not teaching robots. That would be quite boring, and I would miss out on the unique, fun, and amazing quirks that make each of my kids who he is. You’ve heard it before, good teaching isn’t filling a bottle, it’s lighting a fire.

Thankfully, it’s not all about academics. Man cannot live on books alone. We need to develop quality relationships, enjoy one another’s company, and learn to get along with one another. Better that my sons be godly garbage collectors than arrogant men with initials at the end of their names.

Thankfully, I can see where my children struggle. This used to bother me a lot. Then a wise mom pointed out, “Be thankful that you can see it.” Hmmm…. how many troubled kids hide their inter- and intra- personal struggles, jumping hoops for the teacher? Instead, my kids “let it all hang out” and show me where I need to help them, guide them, pray for them.

Climbing the Long Hill

When I was first homeschooling, I had even more academic fervor than I do now. Older moms would caution me, “Discipleship is more important. Character education matters more.”

Honestly, I didn’t get it at the time. It was really important to me that my children learn well and be academically strong. I wanted them to have the skills they needed to do well in the world. I wanted them to have any door open for them in their choice of future career.

I still want these things.

But, I’ve also realized that a stubborn child isn’t going to learn as much as he could if he wasn’t balking at math. Negative attitudes, faltering motivation, and good old fashioned grumpiness look no better in a courtroom or a board room than they do in my own school room. They get in the way of learning today as well as stumble success tomorrow.

Some days I’m overwhelmed by “behavior issues.” Back in my public teaching days, I could write a detention or fill out a referral slip. Today “classroom discipline” is a little more to mess with. It’s a high hill to climb and at times, it can be daunting.

Yet, I know that a high mountain offers a better view than a small one. At the end of the day, at the end of the year, at the end of the journey, I’ll get to see how far me and my boys have come.

And, Lord willing, the view will be breathtaking.

Character education is a long-term project. For many of us, it’s one of the reasons we homeschool–to be a guiding force in our child’s character development. Personally I hope my children will become young men and women of character ready to take on, challenge, and change the world around them when the time is right.

Much of character training has to do with modeling, being an influence throughout the course of our child’s entire lifetime.

But there are certain occasions when you may want a tool to point you in the right direction or provide a launching platform from which to discuss virtues with your child. At other times we may notice specific behaviors that we’d like to address in a creative (non-nagging) manner.

Resources our family has found helpful:

• The Children’s Book of Virtues – a collection of stories, poems, and fables categorized by virtue
• Fairy Tales – One of our sponsors, Oak Meadow, includes fairy tales as part of both their kindergarten and first grade curriculums. Fairy tales are generally viewed as one of the best ways to introduce young children to the concept of good and evil and the character qualities that heroes represent.
• Two of our favorite fairy tale collections are The Tall Book of Nursery Tales and Hans Christian Andersen’s Fairy Tales – though there is at least one story in each book I’ve skipped for various reasons. I’m always looking for collections with the classic stories but without frightening illustrations.
• A Children’s Bible – I’ve found it challenging at times to find a Bible to read with my children that doesn’t include dumbed down, cartoon-type illustrations. Our favorites so far have been Children’s Everyday Bible and Egermeier’s Bible Story Book.

Other Resources to Consider:

• KONOS Character Curriculum – This unit study curriculum includes topics based on character traits including generosity, courage, and wisdom.
• Drawn into the Heart of Reading – A Christian literature guide that incorporates character-building exercises
• Further Up and Further In – A unit study based on The Chronicles of Narnia

This week, even as you may be making plans for the upcoming homeschool year, keep your priorities balanced and remember that character training is also a foundational part of our children’s educations.

Do you have any character education resources to recommend?