5 (surprising) things you need to know about homeschooling high school ~
Written by Shawna Wingert of Different by Design Learning

For seven years now, I have been sharing our homeschool journey here on Simple Homeschool.

My oldest was eleven at the time. My youngest was eight.

It’s been a wonderful, crazy, joyful, stressful, sometimes devastating, sometimes rewarding, always worthwhile seven years.

Today, I find myself helping one child graduate high school, and the other prepare to begin it. My oldest only has six weeks left in his educational journey with me. My youngest has six weeks plus the next four high school years.

Prefer to listen instead?

I think because my oldest is preparing for life after high school homeschool, I find myself reflecting on what I know now about the high school years (that I never would’ve thought possible back when we started).

The truth is, most of the past four years feel like blur. They went by so much faster than his younger years homeschooling. They went by faster, but they were also, frankly, so much more fun.

Our days have became equally interesting for all of us. Because they are older, their interests more closely resemble my own. Our discussions about current events, history, and art are far more engaging than I thought possible.

It’s hard to think about it coming to an end, at least with one of them.

With this in mind, I wanted to share the things I wish I’d known about homeschooling high school before we were actually homeschooling high school. If I could go back in time to the mom I was seven years ago, this is what I would tell her.

5 Things You Need To Know About Homeschooling High School

1. Homeschooling High School Doesn’t Have To Be Totally Different From The Younger Years.

When we were preparing for my oldest to begin his freshman year, I thought it would be totally different.

I mean, this is high school right? Doesn’t it need to be more rigorous and less, well, fun?

Turns out, my son’s high school years looked a lot like every other year: interest-led, hands-on, project based learning.

At the end of his senior year, I can honestly say that it worked. We had already figured out how he learns best. I am so glad we didn’t change that to fit some idea of how high school is supposed to be!

2. Don’t Be Afraid Of High School Transcripts and Course Credits.

I was terrified of the transcript at first. It felt formal and threatening.

Turns out, it wasn’t really that hard. In fact, after I figured out how I wanted to do it, I actually looked forward to completing his transcript each semester. It felt like an observable measure of progress (something that can be really hard to come by as a homeschool mom!).

This post by Kara, really helped me relax about my son’s transcript.

3. Your Role Will Change Over The Four Years (and that’s OK).

I was a little taken aback by how quickly my role began to change as my son progressed through the high school years.

I went from being the one in charge of all of things to the one who needs to buy all the things and drive him to all the things. It was a little disconcerting at first, but it was exactly what needed to happen. My son developed a sense of engagement in his learning and independence that we had never seen before.

It’s worth being the accountant and the driver, instead of the teacher sometimes.

4. Your Child Will Have More Opinions (and that’s OK).

Of course it’s okay, right?

I know this to be true in my heart, but I can tell you that when my son had a very strong opinion about applying to four year colleges (he wanted to, I thought it was not a great fit for him) – I missed the years of him pretty much learning the way I thought he should learn.

Homeschooling high school is also just parenting a high schooler. It includes letting go when it’s time (cue tears).

5. The Memories Are Irreplaceable.

Oh my goodness, this one also makes me tear up a little, but it’s true.

The memories we have created together, especially as my son has become more and more of an adult, are precious to me in a way that is quite different from the younger years.

I am not sure I can put it all into words, but this is what I know – these high school years are when homeschooling and being with my kids all the time really started to get good.

I wouldn’t trade the memories we’ve made these past four years for anything.

There is so much more I could share.

I could tell you how impressed I was with my son’s college essays. I could tell you how worried I am about the giant step he is taking in heading off to college in the fall.

But I won’t. What I want to tell you is this – homeschooling high school has been one of the greatest experiences of my life and I am so grateful to be able to do it all over again with my youngest.

Maybe check back in four years. I will let you know how it goes.

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

Debbie’s Homeschool Day in the Life (with a 14- and 15-year-old) ~
Written by Debbie Douse of An Adventurous Education

A note from Jamie: Debbie, I have always admired the heartfelt way you pour yourself into your children as a homeschool mum. I feel so blessed to have gotten to meet you three in person – a gift I’ll always treasure! Thank you for sharing one final day in the life with us as we wrap up this series.
xo, Jamie

Morning

I wake to the sounds of the birds singing and sunlight peeping through the cracks in the curtains. It’s 7:45am, late for me. I’m still recovering from a bad chest infection so I’m gifting myself the grace of sleep.

Normally, I’d be up at 6:30 and out running or heading off to an early CrossFit class – my latest obsession!

Instead, I opt for a slow morning of prayer, writing down my morning thoughts, and a chance to chat to my husband with hands wrapped around a hot cup of tea. Neither teen will be up for a while. I’m eternally grateful that homeschooling provides this flexibility to shift our entire day to suit their new adolescent need to sleep in.

By 9am, they’re both up and after a quick brekkie and shower, they’re ready to go by 9:30.

Debbie’s Homeschool Day in the Life (with a 14- and 15-year-old)

To Work…

Harry and I start with his economics. He’s planning on taking an exam (a GCSE) in this subject, along with maths, in the summer. This week, he’s studying globalisation and multinationals.

Initially, we work through a Kenyan case study. He answers questions and we discuss the companies mentioned, such as Unilever, and the brands they own. Today, I can relate his work to a real-life situation as my husband James’ company has just bought part of a French data company in order to enter the French market.

After a while, I leave Harry to read and summarise the next section.

Meanwhile Rosie has started on her English, as this summer she’ll sit exams in both Literature and Language. Today, she’s working through a practice Language exam paper, but with no time pressure. Before she tackles each longer question, we read the extracts together and discuss her approach, weaving in the techniques she’s learned over the last few months.

By 10:30am, I have space to focus on prepping lunch, our main meal of the day. Today though, my heart sinks as I realise that I’d optimistically planned beef stew. This takes 3 hours to simmer, and the meat is frozen.

This infection has knocked me off my game! So, I make a quick dash to the supermarket to get ingredients for a speedy chicken stir fry.

The next part of my morning is somewhat frenetic as I juggle cooking and helping the children.

Stirring the wok with one hand, my other searches for the economics answers on my phone so I can work through another case study with Harry. Briefly we’re interrupted by Rosie asking a question and in the corner, James is getting cross with the printer!

Please tell me you can relate to the chaos…?!

Lunch

By 12:15 though, we’re all lunching, and peace is momentarily restored. I love this part of our day where it’s just the four of us chatting. Today we share fun facts and my favourite is that it’s illegal to own just one guinea pig in Switzerland as they’re social animals and would get lonely!

After lunch, as it’s such a beautiful spring day, we go for a walk around the village. We chat about our upcoming trip to India. I explain how the 1947 Partition caused the greatest forced human migration in history.

Millions of Hindus fled to Delhi – one of the cities we’ll visit. Muslims in turn left the city for safety in newly created Pakistan.

Learning through travel is a key part of our homeschool and understanding the history of a place before you visit makes the experience that much more impactful.

Afternoon

Once home, Harry switches to maths, working on circle theorems, pretty much independently, for the rest of the afternoon. Every so often he takes little breaks, for example to try to fix the old ride-on-lawnmower, tinkering away with the engine – sadly to no avail!

Rosie meanwhile puts her writing skills into practice. She starts to craft a letter to her local Member of Parliament (MP) about an issue close to our hearts. There’s a new schools bill currently being debated in parliament.

If passed, it would substantially affect the freedom of home education in the UK.

For example, the new law means that a child with any form of special educational needs would not automatically be permitted to home educate. Instead, special permission would be required, in essence discriminating against these children.

We’ve read so many books about the oppression of minority groups and courageous individuals prepared to push back. This is Rosie’s chance to stand up and be one of the brave young voices fighting for the rights of the UK homeschool community. It’s a hard task though.

She has to park the emotion sufficiently to write a persuasive letter to her MP about her homeschool journey, how it has benefitted her, the impact of the new bill and how it could be amended. It takes her the rest of the afternoon, but it’s one of the most important tasks she’s ever done!

By 4:30 pm, they’re both done with their work for the day.

Passions

Harry and I head straight out to his evening cricket session from 5-8pm, listening to the excellent podcast – No Such Thing as A Fish – en route.

We’re a passion-led homeschool, so any opportunities to develop their passions are prioritised above all else. Harry’s dream is to be a fast-bowling cricketer for England.

He’s just signed his first contract with Kent Cricket Club, to be part of their Emerging Players Pathway, the very first rung on the ladder to playing professional cricket (but there’s a very long way to go!).

This evening, he has individual sessions to practise his bowling, batting and fielding skills. It’s followed by a specialised programme in the gym.

Back home and Rosie is following her own passion: acting. She’s joined a Zoom call with the writer of the National Connections play she’s currently rehearsing, called No Regrets.

The author talks to them about his journey in becoming a playwright and performer, offering advice for their own careers and a chance to ask questions about the play.

Evening

Later, she grabs a quick dinner and jumps on another fun call with her best friend, to chat, play games and write poetry together. James collects Harry from cricket, which leaves me with a free evening for once. I take advantage with a hot bath and my new brilliant book: City of Djinns: A Year in Delhi. Bliss! (afflink)

Once the boys are home, Harry showers and eats. He then nips off to paint his Lord of the Rings figures for the Middle Earth Strategy Battle game with which he’s currently obsessed!

By 9:30pm, we’re all exhausted, and head up to bed for a reading wind down!

It’s a full-on life this homeschool world of ours, but I’m conscious it’s partly coming to an end, with Rosie possibly going to school in September.

I’m trying – in amongst the chaos – to savour every moment with these precious children.

My, how the days have changed:

• Debbie’s Homeschool Day in the Life (with a 13- and 14-year-old)

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your type needs most!

Jamie’s (FINAL) homeschool day in the life (with a 17-, 18-, & 19-year-old) ~
Written by Jamie C. Martin in 2023, published in 2025

A note from Jamie: In January 2023 I wrote this draft, but never published it. That’s because my son Jonathan and I also recorded a homeschool day in the life podcast episode at the same time, and I didn’t have time to finish both.

Now, as a retired homeschool mom, I do! So enjoy this never-before-seen time capsule of Martin family homeschool history, a snapshot of our final year of official homeschool life from two years ago and my final homeschool day in the life post here on SH, having joined in all 15 years! xo, Jamie

Jamie’s FINAL homeschool day in the life (with a 17-, 18-, & 19-year-old)

My how the days have changed. Yet some things stay the same.

I can’t believe that I have two homeschool graduates and my “official” days of homeschooling are nearing their end. (2025 update: Um, they ended! )

I have found that having three kids so close in age brings a different pressure to this phase of life.

It comes from helping kids launch into their next season, even as I try to figure out what my next season might be. (2025 update: Still figuring that out lol!)

Our Current Morning Rhythm

In the morning, we gather around the breakfast table with whoever happens to be home.

Instead of reading Little House or Narnia, as we once did, I now read from a devotional or Guideposts magazine, which features short, inspirational stories.

We pray together, then whoever is at home has chores to do. Next I often find myself in the van driving someone to a part-time job or volunteer opportunity. (Our two special needs teens are unable to drive.)

Finding ways to create a meaningful life for all of us is my priority for this next phase. And in that regard, it’s not all that different from our homeschool days five or 10 years ago.

If Elijah (17) is at home, we will sit down to do lessons (reading & math) together. I have been teaching this child to read for ten years now and we have not reached fluency yet. To say this has been discouraging would be an understatement.

Now we’re beginning to focus on assistive technologies to help fill in the gaps, even as we also look into our public school transitions program, which would give him services until age 22. (2025 update: This has been the biggest blessing and best fit for his past two years!)

I continue to be grateful for the holistic view of education homeschooling gave us from the very beginning -even before having a clear picture of my kids’ special needs.

We always emphasized that each child should learn at his or her own pace. That each person has strengths and weaknesses. That life is about developing your potential while leaning on others’ support in areas where you need it.

Because of this approach, I know that all of my children are in a stronger position than they would have been in the traditional school system. Their self concept and their mental/emotional health has been as much a focus as their academic development.

I once assumed that after my kids had graduated, I would have hours of extra time. (Stop laughing!)

But the time I used to devote to homeschooling I now use to help kids research and fill out job applications, prep for interviews, apply to college, and fill out the piles of paperwork that result when you are the main educator of your children.

Time Out for Me

I’m so glad that no matter what stage my kids have been in, I have always taken daily time out to read, reflect, or journal. I’m grateful for the veteran homeschool moms who encouraged me to do this even when my kids were younger.

This often looks like sitting in front of the woodstove in the winter, having to remind a child or two that I want to talk to them…but not right now.

Sometimes, if all else fails, I still can be found closing myself in the bathroom or bedroom for a few moments of quiet. (One of the things that never seems to change!)

Guardian of the Books

I pride myself in being “guardian of the books,” even to my now young adults. I can often be found researching an engaging title while also encouraging them to find inspiring books for themselves.

Jonathan and I still do our Chapter a day Book Club, which gives us a connection point even when he is out of town as he has been on his gap year. He spent ten days solo in Los Angeles working on a lighting project and has another trip lined up.

It thrilled my heart around the Thanksgiving table when he shared that homeschooling has given him a unique perspective and the ability to develop his technical skills to a high level of expertise.

All three of my kids are currently employed! It’s been fun to see them find their way to first jobs that I know they will remember forever and to see them thriving and being challenged in their own unique ways.

It’s a thrill (and also stretching to my heart) to find new ways to support them as they take these steps of independence.

We continue to have expectations for those of us who spend a day at home, including helping around the house, cooking, reading, having some version of Bible/devotional time, as well as getting outside.

Taking walks with my older teens is a regular occurrence and also a lovely time to listen to their thoughts, ask questions, and hear their hearts.

As a family with one biological child, two internationally adopted children with special needs, and four nationalities represented among us, we’re definitely not the typical homeschool family.

Yet that’s part of the reason why we chose it. I am glad that at least so far, all three of the kids remain grateful for their education and feel that homeschooling has been the best fit for them. (2025 update: They still do!)

My only regret looking back: I wish I would not have worried quite so much.

Looking back to that mom I was 10 years ago, I wish I could wrap my arms around her and tell her that even though great challenges lie ahead, it’s going to be okay.

Today, it’s my role to believe that will also be true for the next 10 years.

I know with God’s faithfulness, it will be.

Check out ALL of Jamie’s Homeschool Days:

• 2011: Jamie’s homeschool day in the life with a 5, 6, & 7-year-old (UPDATED in 2024)
• 2012: Jamie’s homeschool day in the life with a 6, 7, & 8-year-old (UPDATED in 2024)
• 2013: Jamie’s homeschool day in the life with a 7, 8, & 9-year-old (UPDATED in 2024)
• 2014: My homeschool day with an 8, 9, & 10-year-old
• 2015: My homeschool day with a 9, 10, & 11-year-old
• 2016: My homeschool day with a 10, 11, & 12-year-old
• 2017: My homeschool day with a 11, 12, & 13-year-old
• 2018: My homeschool day with a 12, 13, & 14-year-old
• 2019: My homeschool day with a 13, 14, & 15-year-old
• 2020: My homeschool day with a 14, 15, & 16-year-old
• 2021: My homeschool day with a 15, 16, & 17-year-old
• 2022: My homeschool day with a 16, 17, & 18-year-old
• 2023: My final homeschool day with a 17, 18, & 19-year-old
• Homeschool Day in the Life podcast episode #103

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

It’s time to redefine success as homeschoolers ~
Written by Jamie C. Martin of Simple Homeschool and Introverted Moms

It’s time we redefine success as homeschoolers. Time we move away from thinking there’s one correct definition of this word.

That belief often comes from our conditioning in an educational system that judged us not on our ideas and insights, but on our true/false, multiple-choice responses.

Many of us as homeschooling parents feel that success for our kids equals getting them into college. If we do that, we believe, we can feel as though we have not failed them.

We can show the nay-sayers that we have not ruined our kids’ chances or limited their options in life.

Yet that’s also a narrow, conditioned, pressured response from an old, worn-out paradigm. It’s time to think bigger. There’s more than one path to a successful life.

For some of our children, college will make sense and be the best decision. For others, the biggest waste of time, money, and energy.

That’s why my working definition of homeschool success is “helping each child reach their fullest potential.”

Yet how do we know what each child’s potential is?

Here’s an answer the system would tell us is not a valid choice: We don’t.

As the mom of two beloved, special-needs young adults, I know this in an acute way. I feel it in my bones.

So I continue to do now what I did for 15 years as a homeschool mom, for both my neurotypical and neurodivergent children, as well as for myself:

I try to help all of us become a little healthier, a little stronger: mind, body, soul, spirit.

This gradual unfolding, one page at a time, of my children’s life story will continue to be written, long after I’m gone.

I’m not the author or the protagonist, merely a supporting character for a little while.

In the chapters I’m privileged to be a part of we have many undeveloped plotlines. Victories and devastations. What good story doesn’t?

Sometimes I’m desperate to flip ahead to a new chapter; sometimes I wish I could go back and reread one of my favorite parts.

As parents we often pray for a miracle, but perhaps the miracle in motion is that we all continue to slowly grow, change, evolve.

Each of us reaching toward fullness of potential as we go.

Each of us success stories in the making.

* Read more of Jamie’s inspirational writing here.

What’s your working definition of homeschool success? I’d love to hear it!

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

And now he’s a Senior: Reflecting on 12 years at Simple Homeschool ~
Written by Kari Patterson of Sacred Mundane

He was five when I wrote my first homeschool post. Headed into Kindergarten, reading Bob books. I already felt overwhelmed and we hadn’t even started.

I’d followed Jamie for several years at SteadyMom.com. I’d read her book; I loved her approach. No hype or gimmicks. Just steadiness, simplicity.

A genuine enjoyment of one’s kids. A balance between order and spontaneity. When I read her writing I could feel myself relax.

Yes. I need this.

So I figured it couldn’t hurt to send a request: Would she consider letting me write for her homeschool site? 

I didn’t figure I had a chance. I was a nobody. A beginner. What right did I have to contribute?

To my amazement, she said yes.

She let me in.

So with trembling fingers I decided to draft up the perspective I most wanted to have, and what I thought might encourage other scared moms like me. Be a beginner. The truth is, we’re all just figuring this out as we go.

Twelve years later, Dutch is 17 and entering his Senior Year. I’ve been writing an article for Simple Homeschool every six weeks for 12 years.

It’s such a gift to be able to follow our journey through the years, and Dutch’s Senior year has provided the perfect opportunity for some reflection.

There are a few things I see now…

Now He’s a Senior: Reflecting on 12 years at Simple Homeschool

1. That beginner feeling never goes away.

Of course there are areas where I feel more confident now.  I was so stressed over keeping up with other kids his age. Now that I get “round 2” with my little boys (3 & 6), I’m way more relaxed.

But I certainly don’t feel like an expert!

Each child is different, so each educational experience is different. Sure, I’ve homeschooled two kids almost clear through, but I don’t yet know exactly what homeschooling Justice will be like, or Ben. I get to start again, so I still get the benefits of being a beginner.

2. Homeschool philosophies and strategies shift dramatically with ages and stages.

When my big kids were little, I spent so much time trying to figure out what kind of homeschooling we wanted to do. Charlotte Mason, Unschool, traditional, Waldorf, Thomas Jefferson, etc. Of course I ended up with a hodge-podge of them all, but what I wish I had understood was how much is really just based on their developmental age and stage.

How homeschooling looks in the young years is drastically different from how it looks in high school.  If I get so stuck on adhering to a certain philosophy I won’t have the flexibility to adapt when my children grow up. (Much to my disappointment I learned that nature walks don’t earn high school credit!) *smile*

3. How you homeschool has as much to do with your style as it does your children’s, and that’s okay.

Of course we’d like to believe that everything we do is solely because of our children’s needs or what is objectively best based on research. And yes, that’s a great thing to keep in mind — we shouldn’t be making this thing about us.

But it’s also true that you’re part of this equation and you’re a unique human, so what is going to work for your family unit must be something that works for you. I am the least crafty person alive. The idea of math manipulatives made me break out in hives.

A steady stream of art projects would’ve sent me running for the hills. So for better or worse, we skipped most of those. I sent Heidi to art camp instead! Knowing your own aversions and personality needs is definitely something to consider when crafting your homeschool plans.

We can be brave enough to take a hard look at what might be our weak areas and consider enlisting outside help so that our children don’t bear the brunt of those shortcomings.

4. Homeschooling may not be the best option for everyone in every season.

In my early years I think my own insecurity made me constantly feel like I had to prove that homeschooling was the best option.  And to be fair, I was convinced that it was the best option for us. But 12 years later I truly believe that homeschooling isn’t the best option for every child in every season.

In recent years I’ve recommended many different private and public school options to friends, based on individual children’s needs or specific situations in home and family life.

I’m afraid that some spheres can become so homeschool-heavy that moms feel pressured to take on something that may not actually be best for that child at that time.

This year my Heidi will be starting an Early College program where she’ll take all of her classes through our local community college. It just occurred to me today that that means she’s technically no longer homeschooling. This particular programs fits her well, she’s ready for this next step of freedom, and we believe it’s best for her.

What about you parents who have graduating kiddos? What have you learned from the last dozen years? I’d love to learn more from you. Thanks for reading. 

* Read more of Kari’s encouragement from the last 12 years.

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

I have an honest admission to make here: I like to be in control, preferably with an efficient plan of action! Delegation and asking for help do not come naturally for me.

I’m guilty of doing things for my teens that they could not only do for themselves, but would hugely benefit from completing without my input. This is especially true during term time, when our lives are at their busiest, as we juggle many extracurricular activities alongside their academics.

During the summer however, we take a long 9-week break, which offers a complete change of pace. Here there is time for me to surrender control and support my teens in developing critical independence skills for the future.

We’re focusing on three simple areas this summer on encouraging independence:

Encouraging Independence in Teens During Summer

1. Completion of a Real-Life Project

Giving your teen full responsibility for delivering a real-life project brings so many opportunities for growth and learning.

Examples might be redecorating their room; selling their old books; managing a patch of the garden; organizing a summer party or holiday; restoring an old piece of furniture; hosting a fundraiser for a local charity; setting up and running a small business; coordinating a long walk and camp-out; or launching a YouTube channel.

This autumn, we’re planning a 4-week road trip to explore the beautiful country of Spain. Over the summer, my two teens will jointly manage planning the logistics for this project.

This will include:

• Formulating our route, liaising with our Spanish tutor for advice.
• Managing the budget.
• Agreeing time spent in each location.
• Sourcing and booking accommodation.
• Deciding (and compromising!) on which activities to do/places to visit, balancing everyone’s interests, and booking ahead where required.
• Learning about the different places we’ll explore.
• Writing a packing list.
• Determining how much homeschool work we’ll do during the trip.

Through projects, a whole variety of skills can be practiced, such as goal setting, communication, teamwork, time management, negotiation, budgeting, researching and more. Ours won’t be plain sailing – they’re siblings so compromise isn’t easy!

However, achieving such a project, even in imperfectly, will boost their sense of being independent young adults.

2. Self Sufficiency in Your Own Contentment

I don’t believe there is a greater gift in life than learning to be self-sufficient in your own contentment. By this I mean the ability to generate your own joy and serenity, either through time alone or by searching out meaningful connections, rather than expecting someone else to provide it for you.

This has really struck me recently as I spend time with my mother in hospital. She has dementia and psychotic episodes. When I visit, she wants me all to herself and will actively push away the nurses to dominate my attention.

There has always been an expectation that in my role as a daughter, I am there to entertain her, to provide color and light for her life. The sad truth is that she has never learned to do this for herself.

It’s made me realize the importance of not repeating this with my own children. I am responsible for generating color and light in my life as are they for theirs. So, I plan to lead by example and ask:

What do I need during this summer break and how will I achieve that?

I’ve shared this with them and encouraged them to answer the same question. I’m there to help them with the practicalities, and to check progress, but that’s it.

They will be responsible for balancing their own needs (e.g. are they getting enough connection with friends, time outside, relaxation?), as I will be for mine!

3. Food Management

Learning how to budget and shop for food, manage ingredients in your home and cook healthy meals are fundamental life skills. During the busy term, I tend to do most of the heavy lifting. But in the holiday, the children get more involved.

As a manageable objective this summer, they will:

• Each tackle one new recipe, and then cook this each week as one of our evening meals.
• Learn how to plan a week’s menu, create a shopping list and do a weekly food shop alone whilst sticking to a budget (even if it happens once, I’ll count it as a win!).
• Be responsible for ensuring the food is eaten in date order and reduce food waste – one of my husband’s biggest bugbears!

Each summer, they grow in their independence a little more. I just need to remember to surrender and let them find their own way.

I hope this helps when it comes to encouraging independence in your teens during the summer holidays. I’d love to hear any of your thoughts and ideas, too!

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your type needs most!

Do we depend too much on our kids? ~ Written by Kari Patterson

The wording might sound weird, but the idea resonates with me deeply: Once your child’s a teen, you’re no longer the star of the show.

You might be thinking, Star of the show? What show?

My daughter Heidi (15) is in youth theater and we have a running joke that I keep waiting for the artistic team to call and ask me to play some lead role. Come on, I can totally be Elsa! Give me a chance!

Yeah not happening. I had my season on the stage. I now work backstage, and I love it! It’s my children’s time to shine.

Most moms I know aren’t looking for a spotlight (and I’m not saying parents literally shouldn’t be on stages), I just mean that life really isn’t about me anymore.

Of course this starts from day one as parents. We mamas give up our bodies, time, sleep, energy, we set ourselves aside over and over as our little ones grow up.

But sometimes, we might miss the memo that this not-about-me aspect of parenthood only increases as they grow older.

And if we don’t wrap our minds around this and establish our own well-being, secure identity, and mental health, we can dangerously depend on our children or inadvertently make their journeys too much our own.

Do we depend too much on our kids?

Let’s consider how this can play out in our lives and our children’s.

Do we depend too much on our kids for SIGNIFICANCE?

For those hungry for significance, we can easily look to our children’s world to establish our own worth.

This begins early! If our toddler tantrums in public we’re wrecked emotionally, angry and embarrassed. A healthy pride over our child’s accomplishments can grow into increasing pressure placed on them to perform, because we see their success as ours.

As they grow, we can make their endeavors about our own pursuits.

Do we lean on our kids for SECURITY?

For those hungry for security, we can subtly use our children to give us emotional comfort and support.

Perhaps all introverts can identify with how helpful it is to have a child to “hide behind” in social settings. No shame in that, it can certainly make parties easier.

But as they grow, we can become unhealthily dependent on them, especially if our adult relationships are problematic.

Both of these place a pressure on children they were never meant to bear. Children were never intended to be our source of significance or security, and though they might never be able to articulate it, the result of having to shoulder that ill-fitting burden often ends in resentment.

So how do we avoid this? Asking ourselves a few questions can help.

For the little years:

• Do I get angry and resentful when my child’s behavior interrupts my day or causes me discomfort?
• Do I display these feelings in such a way that my child feels responsible for my own emotional state?
• Am I modeling emotional regulation or am I sending the message that my child has the power to make or break my day?
• Do I overly depend on having my child with me as a sort of social security blanket?

For the middle years:

• Have I over-booked my child’s life with activities that he or she may not actually want to do?
• Are there any ways that I’m demanding my child go a certain route because it’s what pleases me most?
• If I am involved in coaching or leading these activities, am I making the activity too much about me?

For the teen years: 

• Am I pushing my child OR holding back my child because of my own emotional needs?
• Am I pushing them out of panic that they might not be doing as well as I wish?
• Or am I holding them back because “I’m not ready” for whatever is next in their life?
• Do I have an unhealthy emotional dependence on them?
• Am I expecting them to meet a relational need that should be met through a spouse or friend?

While I’m not to the grown years yet, all of these things pave the way for a healthy launch into independence and adulthood for our kids. Our children should feel the freedom to fly the coop and establish their own lives in adulthood without worrying about whether we’ll be okay without them.

Simply put: They cannot fly freely with the weight of our needs around their necks.

Friends, I’m working on this too. Let’s enjoy our children thoroughly without depending on them for our significance and security. For their good. And our own.

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

How We Manage Our Teens’ Devices ~
Written by Jamie C. Martin of Simple Homeschool and Introverted Moms

The Question: How do you handle devices with your teens?

The Answer: Our Young Adult Devices Agreement/Contract, which I created several years ago and revamp periodically as the kids get older and need more access.

Prefer to listen instead?

Please note that the specific boundaries are what felt right and needed for us, but I’d never suggest you need exactly the same! I’m merely including the below as a starting place for you.

In our family, we chose to keep individual screen use (computer/phone) to a minimum before the teen years, and slowly increase access as we felt that our teens were ready for more – that means it’s also been different for each child, not based on age.

When that time came, we developed, printed and signed the below. Feel free to copy and edit to create your own!

How We Manage Our Teens’ Devices: The Young Adult Devices Agreement

The point of this agreement isn’t to focus on what you “can’t” or “shouldn’t” do, but to focus on building healthy habits that will open up a wider world to you both now and in the future, using devices as your tool and servant, instead of you becoming the servant of them.

I agree to the following, knowing that in life more freedom comes with more responsibility:

* I commit to use my devices in agreed-upon ways that are appropriate for my physical and mental health.

* I agree to keep the majority of my phone/messaging/music/computer time within these hours: 6-9am and 3pm-Dinner. (These were the specific hours that worked for us in this season.)

* I will leave my phone in the agreed-upon area downstairs during school hours from 9am-3pm (unless using for essentials), mealtimes, after dinner, and at bedtime.

* I agree to mainly use my computer for educational purposes during the hours of 9am-3pm.

* I agree not to text, email, post, or say anything through my devices that I would not say in person.

* I agree not to take or share inappropriate pictures of myself or others.

* I agree not to download apps without permission.

* I agree to remove myself and tell an adult immediately if anything does not feel comfortable online.

* I agree not to give out personal information including passwords, addresses, or phone numbers to unknown individuals.

* I agree not to be dishonest about what I am doing on my phone because that will hurt my closest relationships.

* I agree to leave the curtains open when I am using the computer downstairs.

* I agree that Mom and Dad can check my computer/phone periodically to see how I have been stewarding my time, so I will have accountability.

* I agree not to delete my site or message history.

* I agree not to change my passcode without notifying Mom or Dad.

* I will aim to act with integrity when it comes to the sites I visit, the amount of time I spend online, the music I listen to, and the messages I send.

* I agree that if I mistakenly access a questionable website, I will stop and notify Mom or Dad, knowing there will be no consequence if I do so.

* I will notify Mom or Dad as soon as possible if I notice that the usual parental controls on my devices have somehow changed.

* If I would like to request changes to this agreement, I will submit that request via writing (not whining!).

Additional Social Media Guidelines (for Older Teens):

• 15 minutes daily, with a break on Saturdays (limit set in Screen Time)
• Private­­­ account until age 18
• I will be part of the solution on social media, not part of the problem. The words and pictures I post will be uplifting and kind, reflecting the unconditional love and grace of Jesus.

My parents agree to the following:

* allow increased use of our family’s computer and other devices as I need more time, and as I continue to handle my freedoms wisely and my mistakes maturely

* make sure that the computer is working well, sorting out any issues in a timely manner

* add access to tools that are beneficial for my education as needed

* pay for any repairs to the family computer

* pay for the monthly internet bill in our home

Consequences:

If I neglect to follow any of the points above, I agree that I will reset by taking a one-week break from the app/site/issue in question.

If my parents fail to keep their agreement on any of the points above, they agree to give me $25 to spend on books or deposit in my savings account.

This is how we manage devices with our teens – what’s been right for your family?

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

When Homeschoolers Change Their Minds ~ 
Written by Amber O’Neal Johnston from Heritage Mom

My husband and I excitedly jumped in with our preschooler when we began homeschooling. Part of our reason for keeping her home was the opportunity for acceleration; we wanted her to start school earlier than our local school district would allow.

With a stack of read-alouds, a box of colorful math manipulatives, and a zoo membership in hand, we were off to the races.

I had no clue what I was doing, so I spent a lot of time studying early childhood education philosophies online. The more I researched, the more convinced I became that our initial acceleration goal was no longer a wise position. Instead, we decided to put on the brakes and slow down.

That decision didn’t stop our forward movement, but we lingered longer and prioritized expansive, broad learning over going farther, faster.

The more committed we became to meandering, the surer we were that we’d made the right choice. Until it was no longer serving our daughter.

When Homeschoolers Change Their Minds

Last summer, our oldest came to me requesting to begin high school a year sooner than planned. I wasn’t receptive to the idea as I assumed she was trying to keep up with her besties, and I didn’t see that as a valid reason to change anything. But she immediately teared up, which was so unlike her, and I could tell she was in distress.

She proceeded to perfectly articulate the reasons that she felt ready for high school. And to my surprise, it had nothing to do with her friends.

Because of our initial slow schooling vibe, she had always been the oldest in her “grade.” As the years went on, our “move at your own pace” mantra resulted in a quickened pace, making her ready for higher-level learning earlier than I anticipated.

She wanted to be challenged and to feel like the hard work she was putting in would be acknowledged for what it was.

I explained that we could count some of her eighth-grade work toward high school credit, but she found that idea entirely unsatisfying:

“I’ve done everything you’ve ever asked of me and genuinely enjoy learning. I don’t receive letter grades, compete with other students, get awards in assemblies, or anything similar. My motivation has always come from within, and getting the school grade designation that matches the work I’m doing motivates me right now, even if you don’t understand it.”

Who could argue with that? So, I threw out my eighth-grade plans and quickly adjusted, but it was a struggle. I felt like I was reneging on my philosophy of not rushing through school.

My unpreparedness flustered me because I normally research thoroughly and enter the school year very organized. Most of all, I was scared.

By allowing my daughter to start high school sooner, I felt like I was signing up to lose a year with her in our home, and the mere thought of it made me terribly sad. I shared my honest thoughts with a dear friend, and what she said changed everything.

“You don’t want her to remain in the nest simply because you clipped her wings.”

Such wisdom! I don’t ever want to hold my children back. With that in mind, I shook off the yoke of fear, rolled up my sleeves, and planned as beautiful a ninth-grade year as I could, and boy, has it been magnificent.

My daughter was absolutely right. She was ready for the next level in every way. Her lessons have flourished, her social life has blossomed, and she is more confident and self-assured than ever.

Changing my mind hurt, but it was one of the best decisions of our homeschooling journey.

The big picture is now held loosely in my palm as I acknowledge that what is right in a particular season will continue to shift as my kids grow and mature—and, truthfully, as I grow and mature.

As homeschoolers, we chart a course, navigate the seas, and do our best to keep the ship sailing toward shore. But sometimes, there’s an island so beautiful that we must stop and visit. At other times, we drop anchor to rest or recover from an unexpected storm.

And then again, there are moments when we realize that we misread the compass or are headed to the wrong port. As captains of our family’s homeschooling journey, we have the privilege of changing our minds, especially when the health of our beloved crew is at stake.

Take the wheel and steer confidently, dear parent, knowing that you’re doing your best with the information and tools you have right now. Tomorrow, you may change your mind, and new adventures await you at every turn.

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

I am Brave

I am frozen to the spot; terror fills my every fibre. My feet are jammed into the metal staple on the sheer cliff side, legs shaking, my hands grasping on tight to the staple above.

I dare not look down at my feet. At the acres of nothingness that falls between them and the ground. Instead, I look across.

There, calmly dangling off the mountain ahead is my 14-year-old girl, my precious baby, leaning out and back to help her best friend navigate this tricky section of the Via Ferrata, seemingly without a care in the world.

Knowing my fear of heights, she’d tentatively suggested this adrenaline-fueled activity as a birthday treat, followed swiftly with, “But if it’s too much for you Mummy, we don’t have to do it.”

Now I was somewhat regretting my eagerness to please with the words, “Yes, why not!”

All I could do was focus on my breath. In and out. While I tried to block the repetitive internal dialogue of, “Why, why do you do these crazy things?!”

But, after stretching, scrambling and hoisting ourselves along cliff edges, vertical climbs and an infinity bridge, we finally reached the end.

Rosie threw her arms around me, shouting, “I’m so proud of you Mummy!” I promptly burst into tears.

She is Brave

Fast forward a week and we’re presented with a different moment. Rosie, an acting fanatic, had been offered the opportunity to attend a Youth Creative Convention at the home of Shakespeare, Stratford-Upon-Avon.

The sting: A six-hour round trip on a coach with a group of older teens she’s never met, but who know each other well.

The idea of everyone else having friends, of no-one talking to her for six hours and feeling conspicuously alone nearly overwhelmed her. I left it up to her to decide.

Later, she sidled up to me and courageously said, “Mummy, I’m going to do this. You faced your fears on that mountainside, and you’ve inspired me. So, I am going to be brave too. But I’m going to download some films so that if I’m left alone, I can be happy watching them without feeling like I need to be part of the group.”

In that moment, I stared at my girl in awe – Brave enough to not let fear stand in her way but smart enough to put in a backup strategy!

But I was also floored by this thought: Seeing me brave had given Rosie the fuel to do the same.

On her return, I knew just by looking into her eyes that it had been a success.

The convention was inspiring and the big scary coach turned out to be a small minibus. The other children were unanimously friendly and not knitted into an impenetrable clique as she had dreaded.

She had shown up and faced her fears.

Daily Brave Choices 

Instinctively we all know that as parents, we are our children’s first and biggest role models. Thus, it should follow that we spend time on our own development, growing to become better versions of ourselves.

But how much energy and time do we really spend on this? “Very little,” is my honest answer.

So I’ve started to consciously make a brave choice each day, and share them with Rosie. This has included establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries with certain individuals, a spontaneous solo theatre trip,  facing up to healthy anxiety, and recording my first podcast!

Inspired, she too started her own daily brave journey.

My favourite example of hers is a new evening acting class in London. Travelling there alone on trains, the Tube and through dark streets, she’s stretched both of our brave boundaries to the maximum and come out beaming!

*****

What if being brave is not just about the big adventures we plan for holidays or vacations?

It can also be seen as pushing yourself out of the safe option of doing what you always do, behaving the way you always behave and thinking the way you always think. It’s about stopping and considering a different path.

Is there one tiny brave choice you can make and share with your kids today?

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your type needs most!